31 December, 2009

Hash Trash Run 822 - Plus Info on the New Year Hashes!!!!!


Attention:  There are directions to TWO fabulous New Year's hashes this weekend.  You don't want to miss any of the fun, and you will need the running to recover from Sylvester.

Hash Trash

Run 822 was set at what has been called the single most disappointing and embarrassing tourist attraction in the city - the Kikar Atarium.  The run was less disappointing and embarrassing.  Several runners sported santa and elf hats to the befuddlement of park bench sitters everywhere.  The walkers briefly feared being mugged for a particularly nice santa hat, but fortunately the aggression stopped with an old man shouting, "Your hat, give it to me." 

The Scribe didn't run, but from tales told.  Fluffer wasn't bothered by a lack of markings, but decided to telepathically interpret the mind of the hashers and run several minutes down the wrong trail!!!  Don't throw stones though, I hear he was not without his followers.  Just because someone looks confident, doesn't mean you should stop looking for the trail.

In circle news, He's a Lesbian taught us some very naughty songs from the Benjamin Franklin hash in Philadelphia (go Eagles!).  We'll be looking up the words and teaching them shortly.

Regime Change Announcement:  Starting on January 16th there is a new Sheriff in town.  Your future RA - Deliverance - wants you to know that she will be Hashin' sans Compassion.  Runs start at 1500 (3:00), not 1501, not 1525.  She doesn't care if you got lost, or couldn't find your car.   She will leave without you, and you will have to find the trail on your own.  You have been warned.

Down Downs
Hare: Boston Creamed
FRB: Caveman
DFL: He's a Lesbian
Virgins: Lilliana, Rena, He's a Lesbian, Lisa, Jeff
Returnees: Jonathan, Deliverance, Crocksucker, Seaman
Santa Hat Hold up: Matterhorny
Trail Blazer: Fluffer
Late Flirting: He's a Lesbian
25 Runs: Fluffer

The NEW YEAR RUN! - Friday 14:00 (2 pm)
As every year on New Years Day The Holyland Hash House Harriers will meet at the Sharon Circle parking lot in Hertzeliya Pituach (where the arches are) at 14:00 (2 PM) for a short Hash run, a swim in the sea, and beer. Don't forget to bring a bathing suit, warm clothes, towels and sun tan lotion. Maybe after the run a Hasher from the area will invite us to their house to raid their bar.

Lost?  Caveman - 0522445644

Run 824 - Saturday 15:00 (3pm)

Location: Horvat Hanut, near Mata village, route 375.  Map here

From all directions:

Get on the no. 1 highway towards Jerusalem.
Continue until Har'el (HaKastel) interchange. Exit right towards Mevaseret Zion onto route 3965.
Take the 3rd exit at the second roundabout to route 395, and then the first exit in the next roundabout (towards Hadassah Hospital, route 386).
Keep driving (the road is winding) until you reach a T-intersection. Turn left, and then right in the next intersection.
Pass Mata village, and then arrive at the parking lot, about 1.5 Km later to your right.

Lost? so were we.
Crocsucker: 054-747-1914

Hare Roster - START THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU WANT TO SET!!!

9-Jan
Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong


On-on!
Hash Scribe


24 December, 2009

Hash Trash Run 821, Directions to Run 822

Run 821 - the run of the Blob.

A select group of hashers ran run 821, heartened by the promise that three bags of flour had been used to mark the trail.  While at least one bag was devoted to the world's largest hash mark (On One!!!), indeed it was a well marked trail.  RA Border Bitch searched in vain for someone to provide trail criticism at the down down, hark!  What is this we hear?  Resounding praise?  The trail was a perfect length, there was shiggy, there was side walk, we sang something in Hebrew, there were parks, there were highways - it was a Hanukkah Hashing Miracle.  Just Susan got her name, you can call her - TwoBeerQueer (but we are working her up to 3 down downs a hash).

Alas, this was goodbye for FattyTatty, Cuba's loss is our gain, or is it the other way around?  Either way, we'll miss you, so piss off!!  Thanks, White Pointers for the On On send off!

OnOne (TastyKakes) would like to apologize for losing the list of down downs, so the following is from memory/I am making it up.  (Give me a break, it's my birthday and I was slightly drunk that hash)

Down Downs

Hares: White Pointers, BlingDong, Squishy
FRB: Twin Peaks
Pee Glee: Caveman, OnOne (TastyKakes)
Au Revoir: FattyTatty
Returnees: White Pointers, Squishy
MisNaming: Border Bitch
Walking????: Fluffer
Naming: TwoBeerQueer

Directions to Run 822

The starting point will be next to the Colosseum club at Kikar Atarim at the end of Ben Gurion Blvd. in Tel Aviv.
Map is attached.

Lost? Call Boston Creamed - 054 215 2653

Hare Roster

2-Jan
Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen
13-Feb GraveRobber
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

On-on!
Hash Scribe


17 December, 2009

Hash Trash Run 820, Directions Run 821

Floater and Fluffer teamed up again to bring us ----  a gluten reduced hash?????  Well, there was some flour, happy barfing smiley face holds (sometimes even the markings get hung over).   But the pack was weaned off their wheat addiction with a steadily decreasing array of markers.  But who needs flour when Blingdong & Border Bitch find a football (soccer ball)!  Desperate Housewife & Border Btich may be killing all the wee hours of the morning with 100 pin Wii bowling, but in the daylight hours they're training for the Tel Aviv Kick-the-can Classic.  What is a football after all, but a rounder, bouncier, less clangy can?  Hashers, just let us know when to show up and cheer.

Once the football left the hash.   The runners scurried, flopped, and wiggled their way through playground equipment.  A few [Goldmember, Rack n Lube, Goony, OnOne TastyKakes] rejected the option of snake crawling through a playground and speeding down the big slide.  Somewhere, your inner child is crying.  Off to the half for some Father Abraham fun, now that we know all the words, we have to sing it every week.  The hares set an arrow into an parking lot, purposefully diverting the pack off the trail - perhaps hinting for another melodious circle of flapping hands and feet?  If you need to sing Father Abraham more than once a hash - just ask!

The walkers had their own trail and they were seeing double.  Twins in the pack, twins on the street, twin cats, twin flours.  Let's give up and drink beer!  And so we did thanks to Gene's On On and the dulcet tones of FattyTatty and the Just Gene Rock band.

On a sad note: Bon Voyage to Dyke.Cum and Wet Pussy. 

Down Downs

Hares: Fluffer, Floater
FRB: Border Bitch and Dyke.Cum
DFL: Goony
Sitting!!: Ally
Temper Tantrums: Fatty Tatty, AIDS
Kuff Ruff: Boston Creamed
Returnees: Ally, Boston Creamed, Rack n Lube, Goony, AIDS, Quickie, R2D2, C3PO,
Remedial Naming Class: Floater
Playing with Balls: Fluffer, Desperate Housewife, Blingdong
Bon Voyage: Dyke.Cum, WetPussy
Late Cummers: Susan, FattyTatty, Rack n Lube, Goony
Short Cutting: Twin Peaks
Hash Gear!!!: Susan, Gene, Ally
Late & Horny: Crocsucker, Fartsmella


Directions to Run 821

Hare: White pointers
Where: Address:  8 Harashba St Rishon le zion.

Dinner after the run at My apartment - bring delicious items.


Directions from all points:
From North to South :
Road no. 4 (Tel-aviv - Ashdod), take the exit to Rishon le zion west,
before the bridge, take right at the light and then on Moshe dayan St'
count 4 lights, at the fourth one take left to  Gdole israel St' ,
second exit on the square first left to Harashba.
Road No 20 (Ayalon south) the the exit to Rishon le zion (after
Komemiute exit), go right at the second exit (under the bridge) to
Moshe dayan St' and start counting 6 lights. At the sixth light take
right to  Gdole israel St' , second exit on the square first left to
Harashba.
See attached map.

Parking is very limited there are 3 small parking areas near by one at
Harashba St itself on the left after house no. 10, one on Elkabets St
the opposite direction of Harashb, and one on Hanagid St right turn
after house number 10 on Harashb St

Lost or any other  Questions? 050.6444759 - Saturday at Three


Hare Roster
 
26-Dec Boston Creamed
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan Porn Queen
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong
 
On-on!
Hash Scribe


10 December, 2009

Hash Trash Run 819, Directions to Run 820

Oh What a hash!!!

Having spent a lot of wasted, un-beerful time running around the desert weeing away the wee hours of the morning (keep it on the right side of the road please), all but a very few hashers opted for the walking option.  Border Bitch and Caveman got the drinking started early.  The runners debated long and hard at the first hold whether Pig Woman was running (and lost) or walking then gave up and followed the trail without her.  Fortunately, she was walking, keeping the no hasher left behind policy intact.  Susan and Ouzogasm said, what's a half without a few meters of beer?  and we drank, and drank, and drank and then ran some more.

Ouzogasm's final circle was a paragon of roundness, full of deep and hidden meanings, revealing the secret depths of pi to all who entered.  Those secrets will be kept between OnOne TastyKakes (perhaps the only hasher to find it) and Ouzogasm, who loved the circle so much she spend 20 minutes there by herself hoping the other hashers would get their drunk selves in gear and hike out to the pier to find it.  Sorry, Ouzogasm, but at least you got an extra beer out of the deal!

Down Downs

Hares: Susan, Ouzogasm
FRB: OnOne TastyKakes
DFL: Fluffer
Desert Running: Deliverance, Twin Peaks, Border Bitch, Caveman, Flutter, Deliverance,
1/2 / 1/2: Gene
50 Runs: Fatty Tatty
150 Runs: Deliverance
Virgins: Shakes Beer
Returnees: Still Coming, GraveRobber (& Hash Brats), Blingdong, White , Susan, Ouzogasm
Gettin' Hitched: OnOne TastyKakes
All by Myself: Ouzogasm
Sneakin' off: LongHorny
Wiing: Desperate Housewife

Directions to Run 820 and the ON ON afterwards

Hares: Floater and Fluffer

The Run will begin at Gene's place 11 Givat Hatachmoshet #6, Herzliya.

Gene is hosting an ON ON after the hash.

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=herzliya+11+givat+hatachmoshet&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=33.352165,56.337891&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=%D7%92%D7%91%D7%A2%D7%AA+%D7%94%D7%AA%D7%97%D7%9E%D7%95%D7%A9%D7%AA+11,+%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%A6%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%94,+Israel&ll=32.162971,34.811854&spn=0.017402,0.027509&z=15>

Lost?  You can call the Hash Scribe, but I'm probably lost too, so check the map carefully!


050-726-8065


HASH ROSTER!


19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Boston Creamed
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong


 
On-on!
Hash Scribe


03 December, 2009

Hash Trash Run 818; Directions to Run 819

A FREE HASH
We got robbed...
We got naked...
We got wasted...
We got arrested....
We all gathered in the Ikea parking lot on what looked like a beautiful day. It was not to be. Caveman's chariot was defiled and the criminal made off with his wallet and Hash shirt (the bastard). We sent up a prayer to the Beer Gods that this bastard should rot in Hell then we quickly got down to business... which consisted of gossip and beer. Goldmember and Deliverance were too scared to leave the chariots for a run and a despondent Caveman opted to drink instead of lead the Hash. Although Fluffer and Just Gene were willing to run, they were quickly overuled by the lazier Hashers.
Down Downs
Hare: Captain Caveman
FRB: Deliverance
DFL: Fluffer
Short Cutting Bastard: Just Gene
Golden Showers: Goldmember
Phone Sex: Caveman
Flying: Goldmember


Directions to run 819


The Run will start on the ocean side of the U.S. Embassy


Map with 2 parking options - cut and paste:


http://www.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=32.07632,34.769154&spn=0.009055,0.01929&z=16&msid=107833146985151101078.000479d65357bf3677758


Hares - Susan & Fatty Tatty


Lost? Look for the stars and stripes or call 050-726-8065


HASH ROSTER!


12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Boston Creamed
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

On-on!
Hash Scribe