27 October, 2010

Hash Trash Run 865, Directions to Run 866

Hello fellow Hashers!

This week's hash left from HaKovshim Garden. Hares presumably gathered 'round. Pig Woman returned, and even Goldmember showed her face.
There must've been holds, checks, blobs and a song, being sung in perfect unison.
Hashers ran, shouted, disturbed the peace, looking for their beer.
There were some fouls made on the trail, and so down-downs were poured, accusations were made and piss-warm beer was consumed.
Not before long, hashers left the site, another Saturday wasted.

And let this be a lesson: If you don't want your beloved Hash Trash to guess what happened on the run, maybe someone would care to tell him?
Hash Trash over n' out.


Hares: AmboHo, Stiff Meat
FRB: Itch My Rail
DFL: Cpt. Caveman
Returnees: Goldmember, Pig Woman
Virgins: Just Kyle, Just Zach
Sitting at the hold even though it was an R+R: Spit or Swallow
Stealth: Double Entry
Ignoring: Goldmember
Doing nothing wrong (again?): Betty Cocker

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 866:
In celebration of Halloween, this week's hash is a Zombie Dash!! 
We will scary the pants of the general public by painting our faces and running to the terror of the people.

Ideas on face painting on the attached link, but there is tons more:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lj0hTYm9F8
** Your hare is kind enough to bring extra face paint if you don't have any. If you choose to use her supply, mind you it is limited, make sure you get there early enough to put your face on.

Location is simple, we have been there a millions times! It's the huge car-park on Elifelet street, South TA. Here's a Google Maps link.
Still can't find it? Pig Woman 0526328659
Don't forget! Starting time has changed! We meet at 15:00 (as is 3pm) !

Other messages:
Fellow hasher is down!
Quickie has unfortunately suffered a fracture to his foot...
Not that we actually care for his well-being, of course. That would be ridiculous. We just need someone to take over his hare duty!
If there's a brave hasher who can take Quickie's place for the hash scheduled for Nov 6, please contact Hash Trash or Quickie ASAP!

Hare roster - are you there?!
Nov 13 - Boston Creamed
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks


22 October, 2010

Hash Trash Run 864, Directions to Run 865

Hello fellow Hashers!
The hashers met on a peaceful Jerusalemian Shabbat afternoon.
The hares notified that they tried to be clever and set one half of the trail each. Little did our hashers know what was waiting for them...
The trail started off on the right foot, taking hashers through such serene locations as: to the middle of a Hasidic class for 8 year-olds; under the nose of an M16-holding American embassy guard; and to holds with no blobs exiting them.
We made it to the halfway point and sang Joe Button, with a few taxi drivers watching.
But the fun was only beginning. The second half really brought the Shabbat-wasteland that is Jerusalem to light, going thought the always-jam-packed-but-now-empty Yehuda market and scary quiet neighborhoods.
As hashers were starting to realize, this f&@#ing hash was no where near being over. They reluctantly kept going (although some felt it was to much and tried ending their lives by running into oncoming traffic), up hills, across roads and through mountain and valley, until finally reaching the circle.
And then they realized: while trying to save time on setting, the hares made the trail 8.1 km long! "You totally Quickie'd it", I believe was the phrase.
Nevertheless, all was forgiven at the sight of beer. We sang, we had down-down that took FOREVER, we got pissed. We went home.


Hares: Crock Sucker, Fart Smella
FRB: Can't have FRB when all were SCB's!
DFL: OnOne
Racists: Fluffer, Itch My Rail
Returnees: OnOne, Itch My Rail, Floater
Misnaming + No Reason Whatsoever: Floater, Crock Sucker, AmboHo
Relievers: Fluffer, Itch My Rail, Floater
Virgins: Pussy Lover
Suicidal: Itch My Rail
Late cumming: Stiff Meat, Itch My Rail
Whining: Cpt. Caveman
Misconduct: Betty Cocker
10k Runners: Cpt. Caveman, Fluffer, Stiff Meat
Almost 10k Runners: AmboHo, OnOne


...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 865:
We will meet at 16:00 on Satuday, as usual.
Location: HaKovshim Garden, across from David InterContinental Hotel, and next to the mosque.
Still lost? Tough luck, the hare doesn't want you to bother her with your whining.

Hare roster - are you there?!
Oct 30 - Pig Woman
Nov 6 - Quickie
Nov 13 - Boston Creamed
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks


15 October, 2010

Hash Trash Run 863, Directions to Run 864

Hello fellow Hashers!

Ah, South Tel Aviv.
Where the near-extinct species of free parking-lot exists, where narrow streets are lined with bare concrete and smell of urine, where getting screamed at for being noisy on Saturday and running past a bustling coffee-shop happens on the same street, where you can just catch a glimpse of the Mediterranean but then it's blocked out of sight by a huge ugly building.
"It's barbaric, but hey - it's home!" (Aladdin)

We gathered at precisely 1600 hrs (nice one Deliverance!) and our Hare set us out looking for the Holy Flour. Grave Robber decided to pardon one offspring and only child-abused Just Chiara. Cpt. Caveman was practicing his blowjob techniques on the Hash Horn.
The streets were winding and Holds were plentiful, although some Hashers thought the Halfway circle was a bit... too well-camouflaged on that tiny patch of grass. Hare blames rain, Hashers blame Hare.
We sang the always-a-classic More Beer and kept going. Our Hare took us through some more Tel-Avivian crowds and sewage, and finally we arrived at the circle, only to be greeted by a half-asleep Quickie, who couldn't wait for us to arrive so he could get his hands on some beer.

To everyone's delight (except for Spit or Swallow), the FRB Pendant-of-Shame made a dramatic comeback, and was immediately stripped bare (seriously, that crap was getting ridiculous).
Stiff Meat reminded us all of his English-poetry roots with a nice Hash song. It involved the male genital, pulling action and "goop" - figure it out.
We sang, we drank bear, we cursed indiscriminately. We went home.


Hare: Fluffer
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: Stiff Meat
SCB: Grave Robber & Just Chiara
Balls+Chain: Fart Smella & Crock Sucker
Non-Returnees: Betty Cocker, Spit or Swallow, Fluffer, Caveman
Late cumming & Alcoholics Anonymous: Quickie
25 Runs: Double Entry
50 Runs: Fluffer
75 Runs: Crock Sucker
175 Runs: Deliverance
475(!!) Runs: Captain Caveman

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 864:
It will be a truly holy Hash this time - will start from Yehoshua Yevin street in Jerusalem.
For you computer-challenged Hashers:
Enter Jerusalem from the main entrance (Caveman's Erection), follow signs to Sderot Menachem Begin South and get off at Givat Mordechai interchange. Take a left (heading East), drive up the hill and keep straight at the lights. You're there, stop when you see the Hare.

Lost? It's the holy city, pray for the heavens and you shall be saved.
Or just call the Hare: Crock Sucker 054-7471914

Other messages:
Twin Peaks has spent days and nights on a new and improved listing of Hashers' accumulated runs.
If you think your 25/50/75/500 badge is long due, check with her --> complain about it --> be shot down in flames.

Hare roster - are you there?!
Oct 23 - AmboHo
Oct 30 - Pig Woman
Nov 6 - Quickie
Nov 13 - Boston Creamed
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks

Hash Scribe

07 October, 2010

Hash Trash Run 862, Directions to Run 863

Hello fellow Hashers!

It's time for this week's Hash-Trash, chock-full of stories of heroism, bloody injuries and gore, horns and whores, trails and flour.
Someone forgot to record last Saturday's undoubtedly meaningful event, and since the actual Hash Trash was getting pummeled repeatedly by waves at the time, no such stories are accounted for.
Nevertheless, next week will be much more interesting.
(Even if this Hash Trash will have to make stuff up)

For your enjoyment, though, a few mug-shots were taken at the last Hash by our very own Betty Cocker. Check them out at the Hash's Picasa website.

For the Down-Downs...

Hares: Betty Cocker & Spit or Swallow
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: Goonnie Fucker
Not finishing a full marathon: Captain Caveman
Misnaming: Fluffer
Virgins: Just Avi
Returnees: Rack and Lube & Goonie Fucker
Late cumming: Just Avi
Responsibility for Late cumming: Boston Creamed
Not willing to frame himself: Double Entry

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 863:
This week's run will begin at the parking lot on "Elifelet" street. This parking lot is unique in Tel Aviv scenery: it's both HUGE and FREE.

Check out this Google map and directions from Ayalon highway.

Lost? Tough. Your Hare has no idea how to get you there, he just found the spot by accident, while howling and chasing the moon one night.
You can try and call: Fluffer 052-8801111

Hare roster - are you there?!
Oct 16 - Crock Sucker
Oct 23 - AmboHo
Oct 30 - Pig Woman
Nov 6 - Quickie
Nov 13 - Spit or Swallow
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Boston Creamed
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks

Hash Scribe

01 October, 2010

Hash Trash Run 861, Directions to Run 862

Down Downs - Run 861


Hare : Double entry

FRB: Fluffer
DFL: Amboho
No hash kit : Double Entry
Allways thinking about the hash: Captain Cave Man
confessing their own hash mistakes : Double Entry, Amboho, Spit or Swallow, Betty Cocker


Directions to Run 862

The hash will meet at 4pm on Saturday

Directions to Hash Run 862 at Reading Parking lot, Tel-Aviv


If you come from anywhere but Tel-Aviv, use Ayalon Highway and get off at Rokach Intchg.

From there just follow rokach road westbound, until you see the parking lot on your right (as shown in the link above).


The theme for this run is:

"Get your fat asses off the couch, stop eating and start running! the holydays are OVER!" (even though last week's small and intimate hash was wonderful)

therefore there will be some snacks at the end, so that the shock won't be too big...


see ya'


Lost? call Betty Cocker, 052-8551144


                 Spit or Swallow, 054-6717787

Hare Roster
Oct 9 - Fluffer
Oct 16 - Crock Sucker
Oct 23 - AmboHo
Oct 30 - Pig Woman
Nov 6 - Quickie
Nov 13 - Spit or Swallow
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Boston Creamed
Dec 4 - FartSmella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks
Hash Scribe