31 August, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 644

HASH TRASH - Run 644
Da doo run run run, da doo run run

The day was very hot, but not very very hot, and certainly not as hot as it had been before. All assembled in a small parking lot in Kfar Shmaryahu, many in time to witness Pusher's full integration into Israeli society, as he pulled in and parked his car so that it was centered perfectly between two clearly marked parking spots.

Boston Creamed explained she was recovering from a long run that morning, Deliverance explained she was recovering from biking and running, and Dead Boring explained he was recovering from runs of the other kind. Having made their excuses, the pack set off Rishponwards.

The run was fairly uneventful. We had been promised savage dogs but apparently in this heat even mad dogs have enough good sense to leave the noonday sun to the Englishmen. At the halfway point, following a rousing version of She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain, the beer keys were entrusted to the runners who assured all that they would finish first. Boston Creamed and Dr. D. then joined the walkers who -- surprise, surprise -- arrived before the runners and then had to wait, beerlessly and cheerlessly, for some time.

Diabolo breezed in first. Dead Boring, in his role as RA, claimed that he would have been first, had he not been suffering from an ailment that also served, perhaps, as inspiration for him to dub Bravefart the week's "Hash Shit". In truth, her sins were many: looking for Hash marks at a check point, leaving the FRB bell in her car, and most grievous of all, not wearing a Hash shirt. We look forward to seeing how she accessorizes the official Hash Shit shirt next week.

Just as she was standing in the circle being lambasted by the RA for failing to seize a T-shirt sales opportunity, Lager Lout received a phone call from Dandruff who sends her very best to everybody (and we to her). Congratulations are in order for Deliverance, who received her 50 run patch, and pledged her eternal commitment to the Holyland HHH -- if we may interpret the phrase "I'm a lifer" in that sense.


RA - Dead Boring
FRB - Diabolo
DFL - Boston Creamed*
SCB - Dr. Doolittle
50 Runs - Deliverance
Returnees - Bravefart, Pusher, T.C.
Hash Shit - Bravefart
Bad Businesswoman - Lager Lout
Parking Like an Israeli - Pusher

*A-hobbling and loving it.

Directions to Run 645
Time: 16:00 pm
Place: Beit Ha-Lohem parking lot
Shmuel Barkai 49
Afeka / Ramat Aviv

Get onto Ayalon Highway at Glilot Junction
Take Ayalon SOUTH to KKL (Keren Kayemet L'Yisrael) exit
RIGHT onto KKL Blvd.
RIGHT at first traffic light onto Ofakim St.
Go straight on Ofakim (yes, it really is pronounced like that) around the traffic circle and all the way to the end.
RIGHT onto Shmuel Barkai St.
Go almost to the end of Barkai where you will see signs to Beit HaLohem which is on your LEFT.
Enter the parking lot where your hares will be waiting.

Lost? Call Stroker

Map (in Hebrew, as usual): http://www.d.co.il/?page=Integration-Map&X=182140&Y=-669891&ZoomLevel=-1&Hs=49&Ss=%20ùîåàì%20áø÷àé&Cs=úì%20àáéá%20éôå&M=Address

A missive was received this week from "hool" or "hutz la-aretz", the mysterious place that lies outside the borders of Israel (where there be dragons).
Entitled "HHHH Reunited", it reads: "Please forward these pics to our friends at HHHH. We miss you guys! Don't worry, we took our down downs for not running...
"On On, Bullshit, Wannabe, Dumb Belle, JAFO and Einstein"

The photos are posted on the Holyland HHH blog at: http://holylandhhh.blogspot.com/2006/08/hhhh-reunited-pix.html

IN CLOSING: Unusual Travel Sites
Hash in Potentia? The Degree Confluence Project
Website of a project the aim of which is "to visit each of the latitude and longitude integer degree intersections in the world, and to take pictures at each location". The pictures and stories about the visits will, of course, then appear on the website (below). Three recent intersections visited were 39 degrees N, 118 degrees W (near Gabbs, USA); 39 degrees N, 114 degrees W (in Garrisson, USA); and 50 degrees N, 14 degrees E (near Nizbor, Czech Republic).

And a personal favorite: Jet Lag Travel
Almost credible spoof travel guides to almost real destinations. First in the series are Molvania, and Phaic Tan. Look out for guides to Gastronesia, Sherpastan or Costa del Porn where "most hotels feature 180 degree views of the hotel in front of them".

-- Boston Creamed

29 August, 2006

HHHH Reunited Pix

Please forward these pics to our friends at HHHH. We miss you guys! Don't worry, we took our down downs for not running...
On On,
Bullshit, Wannabe, Dumb Belle, JAFO and Einstein

Hash Reunion 2006

Hash Reunion 2006

Hash Reunion 2006

Hash Reunion 2006

Hash Reunion 2006

23 August, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 643

HASH TRASH - Run 643
8 minutes from Kfar Sava, 2 from Kalkilya, 39 degrees in the shade and miles away from sanity

So there we were, on what was at that point the hottest day of the year, trying to follow some lame-o directions* to somewhere eight minutes from Kfar Sava, as the real estate brochures put it. The cell phone companies made a hefty profit on Diabolo's conversations with Dr. Doolittle, but eventually all assembled at the entrance to Kochav Yair (2nd traffic circle, not the first!) and on-on we went.

Our ranks were reinforced by the return of RA Dead Boring -- and not a moment too soon, as Deliverance and Dr. Dr. were weary of dispensing religious advice to an unruly flock -- plus Lager Lout and Pussycat; Fer Fox Sake, on cease-fire furlough; Floppy Disc, on a "Hello, I must be going" mission; pop-ins by Captain Caveman and In & Out; and Goldmember -- back after some weeks away (something having to do with a circumcision**).

Kochav Yair is very hilly, we soon discovered, but very nicely laid out with lots of gardens, parks and paths -- should anyone wish to take up residence and start raising children. They seem to favor the small yapping breeds of dogs. There was not much opportunity to short-cut, and it was very, very, very hot. So hot that even cold beer was consumed without complaint. Almost.

Let it be known that Floppy Disc will receive his 70 run pewter mug via the Cyprus Postal Authority. Also let it be know that Katherine is on the mend. She sends her very best from behind clenched teeth and plans to rejoin us as soon as the doctors remove the wire from her jaws.

*Humble Scribe will neither take responsibility for the information supplied by Hares, nor can she be sure that Hares are sober when providing directions, but is always happy to provide links to useless maps (in Hebrew) when available.
**Her nephew, not her, sillies.

RA - Dead Boring (back and in fine form)
FRB - Dead Boring (ditto)
Understanding the Dutchman - Diabolo, Dr. Doolittle
Directionally Challenged or Challenging Directions - Goldmember
Fashion Victim/New Shoes - Floppy Disc (beer drunk through sandals with gritty bits)
Returnees - Dead Boring, Fer Fox Sake, Floppy Disc, Goldmember, Lager Lout, Pussycat

Check out the spanking new Hash House Harriers automatically self-updating (well, almost) Hash Trash blog at:
Link exchange requests are welcome.

Directions to Run 644
Time: 16:00 pm
Place: This weeks Hash will be in Kfar Shmaryahu.
(It was going to be further afield - I spent hours driving around looking for a new site - but gave up)
Coming from whichever direction you live.......
Turn into Hazorea St (American School road) and go right to the end. I mean right to the end! Past the school, past all the posh houses, past the road to Rishpon, just past the Israeli school. You'll see a dead-end road - called HaTapuzim I believe.
Your Hares will be waiting somewhere in the shade.
For the mentally challenged or lost souls call Lager Lout

A map of Kfar Shmaryahu:

A map from a country that's got its priorities straight:

Hares! Put your bunnies in a trance!

Stick Figures doing something naughty

-- Boston Creamed


16 August, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 642

HASH TRASH - Run 642
Runnin' in Ramat Gan

Another beautifully overcast day in the middle of August, another well-laid trail, including a walkers trail that in the end went completely unused. In the name of recycling, your pinch-hitting hare and humble scribe Boston Creamed believes that, just as she re-used the starting point, this trail can be re-hashed at a later date. You have been forewarned.

The run was deemed good, and gave people an excellent overview of what Ganei Yehoshua (Park HaYarkon) has to offer -- walking/running trails, a single breezy hilltop, jungle gyms, ducks, evil bicyclers and poisonously polluted water. The half-way point song was "Supercalifragilisticexpialdocious", which will also be sung again at a later date, so learn the words now.

We exited near the Pivko Building, the high-rise on the side of the highway that looks like a space ship, and speculated about what motivates a man like Ilan Pivko to create such a monument, and how much it would cost to buy an apartment in his phallus -- er, I mean building.

RA - Deliverance
FRB - Diabolo
DFL - Lady Flytrap*
Returnee - Lady Flytrap
Runaway Hounds (who then shortcut) - Diabolo, Dr. Doolittle, T.C.
Lost Hare (went looking for naughty runaway hounds) - Boston Creamed
Bad Hare (marking after "On In") - Boston Creamed
* Dr. D proved to the RA he wasn't last but made the ultimate sacrifice and drank beer anyway.

Dandruff, who has had surgery up top while down under, sends this update:
"Hi all -- Well a lot has happened since I last e-mailed. I had the surgery done: right mastectomy, axillary lymph node dissection and implant expander inserted into breast tissue. I must say I had a few tough days, felt like I was torn in half by a shark actually!! but each day I improved dramatically and was released from hospital Friday morning into the loving hands of my darling husband who has been really wonderful and supportive through the ordeal (that's enough slop for now). I never knew how many people cared about me until this happened, the phones and e-mails have been pouring in and the flowers, the things a girl will do to get attention!! I know you won't believe this (yes, you will), the first thing that I did when I was released was make an appointment at the hairdresser for a wash and blow dry (way to go Dandruff). Once I looked like me again (except for my tilting to the left) I felt 100%. I won't know what is happening next until I see the surgeon next week with the pathology so I'm just taking it day to day and enjoying feeling better. The weather is wonderful with bright sunny clear days and temps in the low 20s. Take care, I certainly will."

It goes without saying that we wish Dandruff a quick and complete recovery, much love, and our blessings for good health.

Directions to Run 643
We will be meeting in Kochav Yair!

From Herzliya Pituach.
Go through Raanana to Kfar Sava junction.
Take Hwy 4 to Kfar Sava exit (Tchernichovsky St.)
From Tchernichovsky St

RIGHT at 2nd or 3rd major intersection onto Weizmann Street
Follow Weizmann for several kilometers (way past Dr. D's house).
Weizmann eventually brings you to the Kochav Yair intersection
RIGHT into Kochav Yair where your Hare will be waiting at the first traffic circle, which has an olive tree in its center.

Or just take Hwy 6 to Kochav Yair

A map:
Another map:

NOTE: Both maps are equally useless.

Questions? Call Goldmember

An excellent song from an excellent band (with flying monkeys, too!).

-- Boston Creamed

09 August, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 641

HASH TRASH - Run 641
Thing Are Heating Up...

It was very hot (but not as hot as it was in London, we hear*). A tough kernel of die-hards gathered in the middle of Tel Aviv's glamorous Kikar HaMedina, met by Dr. Dolittle, all on his lonesome, his co-Hare having been called away for reasons that had us all looking skywards and wondering whether our bomb shelters had been swept out recently.

The threat of missile attack notwithstanding (we did run in Hadera last week, so that doens't bode well for Tel Aviv), the runners set off, only to be called back for a re-start. But this was a good thing, as our numbers were suddenly increased by one-third with the arrival of Nelly, who came several weeks ago, and her Hasher hubby Rusty Ring, who had just come. From Baku, that is.

The runners ran, the walkers walked, and a round of Father Abraham was sung in Kikar Rabin. After the halfway point it got very very hot** and a hold was missed somewhere along the way back to Gucci central. Fortunately, the hounds had the hare on their heels to whistle sharply and guide them into the sharp left turn they'd missed***.

Let it be noted that at Zusya Park, the runners were very good and did slide down the kiddie slide as instructed. Let it also be noted that it was a very good run (two thumbs up!), Dr. D. having stepped into the breach again when duty called but - once again - did NOT volunteer.

Down Downs
Hares: Dr. Dolittle and T.C.
FRB - Diabolo
DFLs - Boston Creamed, Deliverance
Virgin - Rusty Ring
Returnee - Nelly
Tardy - Nelly, Rusty Ring
Shortcutters - Boston Creamed, Deliverance, Diabolo

* "I have been in Mexico it was very very very HOT. I went to the beach and it still was very very HOT." -- Response to the question 'Have you been affected by the extreme weather?', Have Your Say, BBC Online
** Hey, if you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
*** Damn rabbits. So aggressive nowadays.

Directions to Run 642
August 12, 2006
4:00 pm

The run will be in Ramat Gan near the Diamond Center
(and a block away from the British Council)

Meet in the parking lot next to the
Publicis Ariely advertising agency
7 Achim Bezerano Street

From Ramat Aviv/Herzliya:
Take the Ayalon Hwy SOUTH
Get off at HA-HALACHA exit.
Head towards RAMAT GAN (away from Tel Aviv)
Get onto BIALIK ST.
Take your 2nd RIGHT onto TUBAL ST.
Take your 1st LEFT onto ACHIM BEZERANO (also written BEJERANO)
You will see the PUBLICIS building & parking lot on your RIGHT.
Now slow down and look for street parking.
If you hit Abba Hillel Silver St., you've gone too far.

Here is a nice map (in Hebrew)

Questions? Call Boston Creamed

Hot Humor

"President Bush told People magazine this week that he's working on a solution for global warming. He says it will be ready in less than six months. Yeah, it's called winter." --Jay Leno

"When it gets hot, so hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David Letterman

"The National Academy of Sciences says that due to pollution and global warming, this year the Earth has been the hottest since the time of Jesus which explains why the disciples were always saying, 'Jesus, it's hot.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It is so hot today that President Bush met with European leaders just for the chilly reception." --David Letterman

-- Boston Creamed
Hash Scribe

04 August, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 640

HASH TRASH - Run 640
Hot n' Heavy in Hadera

It was not so hot, unlike in previous weeks, the beer nicely chilled, and the trail laid out in plenty of time. Perhaps unaware of these idyllic Hashing conditions, few Holyland HHH members made the trek northwards to Hadera and so missed the long-awaited for naked Hash followed by Down-downs and orgy. Fortunately, in place of the regulars were several surprise vistors from the Stockholm Ja-Ja Leather n' Rubber Flight Attendants HHH, outstanding among them: Inga On-On, Karl Kum Hashing, Randy Dandy Down-Down-Down, and Shiggy Shaggy Soren. Sorry you-all missed it. It was fun.

Hare - Deliverance (aided by Boston Creamed)
RA - Deliverance
FRB - Bravefart
DFL - Diabolo
DFR - Bravefart
Somthing else (I forget what) - Diabolo
Bad Fashion - Boston Creamed (wore pouch*)

*Argh! Someone had to!

Directions to Run 641
Saturday, August 5 2006
4:00 pm

We will meet in Tel Aviv's fabulous Kikar HaMedina !!!
It's big and round (see map).
Lost? Call Dr. Doolittle

-- Boston Creamed