26 November, 2010

Hash Trash Run 869, Directions to Run 870

Well, there must've been a hash...
Too bad the hare+RA didn't keep track of the down-downs / forget to keep the down-down sheet / was too drunk to write anything down.
I'm guessing people ran and drank, and maybe some other things. Hopefully something similar will happen on the next hash, maybe with more details following it.

Down-Downs Run 869:
Hare: Deliverance
FRB: ??
DFL: ??
You get the point.

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 870:
Meeting time: Saturday, 15:00 (1500hr, 3pm, III, שלוש).
Location: We will gather at the parking lot at the corner of Dubnov and Shaul Hamelech streets next to the "London mini-store" (where we've already gathered for run 851, whoa, maybe we'll find ourselves there...).
As the directions said back then: Driving on Namir, turn West on Shaul HaMelech, drive past Performing Arts Center, left on Dubnov and immediate right into the mini-store parking lot.
For a map click here.
Lost?! as before, we don't really care. Yet again you can call OnOne or AmboHo, they set it there last time, they'll know the way.
Just don't bother the hare, Spit or Swallow, at 054-6717787

New hare roster!
This is your lest week to request a preferred haring date!
After that, hashers will be randomly assigned. Please notify Hash Trash ASAP if you have a preference.

Hare roster - are you there?!
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks


17 November, 2010

Hash Trash Run 868, Directions to Run 869

Hello fellow hashers!
Dog shit.
I think this is what all hashers will take away from last Saturday's hash - dog shit.
Yes, we met at Jerusalem. Yes, we were late to start (again - Grave Robber's abuse continues). Yes, we checked it out and followed the running trail. Yes, we found soooo many false trails. Yes, we were again fooled to think our trail will take us through scenic areas of town, but all we got were the junkies' favorite shootin' spots. Yes, we had us some downhill-uphill-extravaganza.
One might say the most memorable sight was Yonatan's near-sexual-abuse running shorts, or maybe it was Boston Creamed complete disregard to hash rules (rules? what now?), talking on the phone for a whole 5(!) minutes. Others may argue that the best sight was Stiff Meat's face, that look of sheer joy mixed with mischief, as he let one rip going uphill, for "extra boost" - his words.
But for this Scribe, watching 2 (and almost 3) different hashers stepping on the exact same pile of dog shit while standing next to the circle was the best.
When you're amongst friends that step on dog shit, and don't warn you when you're about to - that's when you know you're truly home.
Just a thought.

Down-Downs Run 868:
Hares: Boston Creamed, Just Yonatan
Indecent Exposure: Just Yonatan
(fake) FRB: Fart Smella
Racists: Itch My Rail, Fart Smella
DFL: Grave Robber
SCB: Capt. Caveman
Reliever: Just Yonatan
Turd Steppin': Double Entry
Not Warning Other Hashers of Turd: Itch My Rail
Bottom Caugh: Stiff Meat
Late Cummer, No Hash Gear: Grave Robber
Not-So-Smart-Phone: Boston Creamed
Shep Shlep: Grave Robber
Lost Professor: Just Kyle
Head Gear In Circle: Double Entry
Too Creative Down-Downs: Fart Smella
Ain't Gettin' Some Tonight: Crock Sucker

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 869:
Meeting time: Saturday, 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.
Location: The hash will begin in Herzliya Pituach in the large parking lot in the center of the Industrial Center.
From Tel Aviv:
  1. Take Derek Namir to the HaSira exit (first exit) in Herzliya Pituach
  2. Make a left at the light and go undr the overpass
  3. Take your first possible right onto Maskit Street
  4. Continue on Maskit Street until you see a large parking on your left
  5. Make a left onto Yohanan HaSandler Street and find parking on or around the parking lot
  6. There are many blue and white parking spots
  7. Your hare will be waiting at one of the corners of the parking lot
Google Map? Man, you guys are gettin' spoiled. There you go.
Lost? Call Deliverance 054-300-5092

Hare roster ???
Only two people have replied to your Scribe's request for your preferred hare date. The Scribe is NOT pleased. And soon neither will you.
Two weeks left - if any hashers know of a Saturday at which they'd like to be hares, please reply with the date ASAP !!
In two weeks, all niceties are out-da-window and hashers will be randomly assigned.

Hare roster - are you there?!
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks


11 November, 2010

Hash Trash Run 867, Directions to Run 868

Hello fellow hashers!
Hashers arrived, circled-up, got debriefed, check-it-out, shouted "On-on!", ran uphill, ran downhill, held, checked-it-out, backtracked up falsies, sang, shouted, scared young children, laughed, dragged legs, short-cutted,  sweat, yelled, yelled back, tripped, On-In'ed, FRB'ed, DFL'ed, drank, named names, drank, circled-up, drank, burped, were shamed, drank, beer-abused, sang, went home.
Not necessarily in that order.

Down-Downs Run 867:
Hare: Double Entry
FRB: Just Kyle
DFL: AmboHo
Returnees: Deliverance, Boston Creamed
Late Cummer: Pig Woman
New Shoes:  GraveRobber

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 868:
Meeting time: 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.
Location: This week's run is in Jerusalem! We'll start at the entrance to Gan HaShoshanim on Dubnov Street. (Some of you already know this starting point; it's where we did the July 4th run). The route will not be long and will be very scenic, hopefully with some Taybeh beer at the end (Pig Woman: Call hare re: East Jerusalem beer run). On-on!
Please note: Gan HaShoshanim is not Gan HaVradim. The former is down the street from the Jerusalem Theater, while the latter is near the Knesset. Don't go there!
  1. Take either Route 1 or Route 443 (Kiryat Shaul exit) to the entrance to Jerusalem.
  2. From the Harp Bridge / ICC Jerusalem - Binyanei Ha'uma Convention Center.
  3. Head north on Yosef Herlits toward Sderot Shazar - 100 m
  4. Turn right at Sderot Shazar - 550 m
  5. Continue onto Sderot Ben Tsvi - 1.2 km
  6. Turn left at Derech Ruppin - 230 m
  7. Continue onto Ramban - 500 m
  8. Turn right at Arlozorov - 400 m
  9. Turn left at Jabotinsky - 68m
  10. At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto David Marcus - Go through 1 roundabout - 300 m
  11. Turn left at Dubnov and go to the end of the street. Destination - the entrance to Gan HaShoshanim - is on the left where Hares will be waiting.
Lost? Damn, dawg. Here's a Google map, a'ight?
Still lost?? Call your hare, Boston Creamed at 054 215 2653 or co-Hare Just Jonathan at 054 593 7721

Important message!
The hare roster is quickly depleting... your beloved Hash Trash will soon cease being so beloved, when he starts volunteering you to Saturdays on his own.
So if any hashers know of a Saturday at which they'd like to be hares, please reply with the date ASAP !!
Other hashers will be randomly assigned.

Hare roster - are you there?!
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks


03 November, 2010

Hash Trash Run 866, Directions to Run 867

 Hello fellow Zombies
We met at what is soon becoming the Hash's favorite starting point - Elifelet car park (although Itch My Rail and Just Kyle decided that they must park their car just outside of it, to save the 0 shekels parking- cost). After some debate, hashers agreed to let their Zombie alter-egos emerge and face-painted each other. Thanks for the extra paint, Pig Woman!
Our hashers received new directions for this Zombie Dash - the Walk Like a Zombie Holds. Check it out in the photos!
The trail went off to a horror-movie start - flour was all over the place, giving hashers no clue as to where the f#$k the actual trail is. Imagine our confusion when arriving at a junction, only to find: a hold, On-Three blobs, "Beer Near" and an arrow. WTF? This scribe believes there was more beer consumed setting the trail then when running it!
We ran frantically in all directions, going back and forth, backtracking after almost every hold, and amongst it all Zombie Walking towards the on-ons, all to Pig Woman and Pepé Le Puke's enjoyment. The trail was so "perfectly" marked, we even managed to misplace one of the hares at one point.
Our hashers arrived at the Jaffa clock tower for a rest and a Halfway Song - Father Abraham. It was perfectly timed - just as 2 tour groups were passing by (or rather, stopping and staring). Fart Smella thought it's rude not to invite people to join, and handed out invites to the policemen sitting by.
The second half took the hashers through some more dirty parts of South TA - which didn't stop Goldmember and Itch My Rail from decorating themselves with stuff found on the ground. Nice bra, Goldmember! We kept running until the circle was almost in sight - Crock Sucker was on her way to getting the FRB, but the all-too-racist Itch My Rail and Double Entry stole it from under her. Hey - It's about the drinking, remember??
Down-downs were poured (into crappy plastic cups - thanks IMR), hashers named names, fingers were pointed and beer was consumed (and sometimes abused). All notes given sounded roughly the same: "Uuuurghhhhhgh!!" now THAT'S a good Zombie!
After putting on our "normal human beings" disguises, we retired to the nearby Norma Jean's bar - hey, there's no such thing as too much beer! A few drinks, burger and fries, and we went home.

Down-Downs Run 866:
Hares: Pig Woman, Pepé Le Puke
FRB: Itch My Rail
DFL: Goldmember
SCB: Goldmember
Relievers: Fart Smella
(Repeated) Misnaming: Pig Woman, Pepé Le Puke
No Hash Gear: Pepé Le Puke
No Zombie Gear: Just Kyle
Best Zombie Walk: Double Entry
Collecting Stuff Off the Floor: Goldmember, Itch My Rail
Misplacing the Down-Down Cups: Itch My Rail

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 867 (and it's a long one):
Meeting time: 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.
Location: 42 HaNevi'im st.,  Ramat HaSharon. Here's a Google Maps link.
Lost? Call Double Entry: 0547-909034

And from your hare, this week's assignment: read the following...

To avoid it...
  • Eat right!
  • Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies
  • Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C
  • Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system
  • Walk for at least an hour a day
  • Go for a swim
  • take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.
  • Wash your hands often
  • If you can't,  keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around
  • Get lots of fresh air
  • Open doors & windows whenever possible
  • Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can
  • Get plenty of rest

Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it... When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol... Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
  • I walk to the pub (exercise)
  • I put lime in my vodka... (fruit)
  • Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
  • Drink outdoors on the patio... (fresh air)
  • Tell rude jokes and laugh... (eliminate stress)
  • Then I pass out (rest)
The way I see it... 
If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
As my grandmother always said,  'A shot in the glass is better than one in th ass!'

Live Well -
Laugh Often -
Love Much

...and bring some good Dirty Jokes of your own to the hash!

Other messages:
Want to see last week's Zombie Dash photos? Go to our Picasa website!

Hare roster - are you there?!
Nov 13 - Boston Creamed
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks