27 August, 2015

Fwd: Down Downs #1116 and directions to #1117

Heeelllloooo WANKERS!  This weeks religious advice.  Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?  A: with a pair of Caesars!

OK now on the unimportant stuff, Hash MCXVI #.

 In attendance: 

The hare: Roadkill and Dry Rub

The pack: CCM, Just Bill,  Deliverance, Just Lesly, Cum Union, Double Entry, MD.

A small Toga Clad group gathered together in Habima Square (totally normal) to look for the light pink, barely still there marking, which was our trail… we ran, stopped for beer, ran played on a playground, ran, got laid (I told a pregnant lady I'd give her one, but apparently she already had been), ranà Half POINT…stopped drank a beer.  Ran more, party hat stop, ran, MISSING blower stop, ran, raced- tied shoe…came in last. 

And from the walkers...:The pack gathered at Ha Bima at 5:00.  After a chalk talk the pack was off....to nowhere.  It seems that the first markings were hard to find and the pack had to be gently guided down the escalators to the parking lot where the markings were located.  There was Beer On Trail so it was a happy group that arrived at the midway point near the Dizengoff Mall.  THe walkers were schelping "Bill" so there was more beer available at the half.  Then it was on back to the Ha Bima.  I lost the list for the down downs so I will recreate it from memory (ha!). 


FRB: Cum Union?


Returneeze: Cum union, Dry rub, Deliverance

Peeing:  Caveman
Best Toga:  Double Entry - who seems to enjoy being Caesar

Racist behavior: MD and Cum Union

For not wearing Toga's: Cum Union, CCM àdeliverance for not bringing CCM a toga like she said she would

I know there were other accusations but I don't remember

Just Lesly and I drank out of our shiny new socks, and me from my shiny new shoes (delicious!!!)

Finally some idiot re-a cop/ maintenance guy yelled at us for drawing on the concrete (Hello!! The kids there do it all the time!!!- Just cuz we look like grown-ups does not meant that we act like them…duh? Did you miss the toga, flower lay, and party hats?!? Dude, I just drank out of my Frigging Shoe!!!)


Hash Run #1117 (via deliverance)

A: will begin at the Alliance School in Ramat Aviv, 26 Reading Street at 5:00 PM. Just put Alliance School, Tel Aviv - Yafo into your Waze. Any questions, call Deliverance at 050-263-4684 or just use your Waze. See you there.  If you have socks - wear them




Hash Scribe

20 August, 2015

1115 DD and DR to 1116 :p

Heeelllloooo WANKERS!  This weeks religious advice.  Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork!

OK now on the unimportant stuff, Hash 1115#.

 In attendance: 

The hare: Roadkill 

The pack: CCM, twiny, Just Bill, poposchnizel, COMB (cums on my buddy), MD.

We gathered together and started to bitch about Shitty Tel Aviv drivers, and while we had half a mind to just stay bitch and drink…instead we ran.  With some of us armed with water guns, we ran through the beaches squirting random passed out strangers, then ran into the park where we assaulted others.  There were many beers and photo stops, and while there should be images to prove the hijinks, because we were warned not to bring our phone because we would get soaked.  We met up with Twin Peaks and Just Bill at half point who were walking around looking homeless, then stuck our fingers in our ear, rears and beers, and finished the trail zig-zagging our way through the shopping center (Shop keeper: SliHa?!? US: It's OK were just passing through…)




Shitter's: pretty much everyone

For being a bag lady: Twin peaks, and Just Bill

Racist behavior: MD and COMB

For not drinking in circle: Popo

I know there were other accusations but I don't remember


Now to the most important part:  Hash #1116

A: Habima square (https://goo.gl/maps/7bxZw)

Hares: Roadkill and Dry Rub

Lost? Call RK@058.689.9880 or DR@ 972.54.971.6773



Hash Scribe

07 August, 2015


Daer Hashers,
I have now infiltrated every aspect of the the HHHH.  Next up, I will take over the world... BWAHAHA **cough** cough** sorry to much fun...

ON TO: Last week run number 1113
Hare: Puppy-love-machine
the trail: A shitty J-town hash. Way too much flour, not enough play stops, way too flat, and not enough skin being ripped from our bodies on the playground slides. 
The down downs: FRB-MD, DFL- (I forgot), then we all drank for shitting on the trail. Just Guy was a returnee.

I'M BAAAACCCKK! Since our new hare roster has not been solidified yet, I'm taking its opportunity to break in YET ANOTHER VIRGIN!! ( that's number 5)!!!. That's right wankers Just Leslie is pop'in her first trail. Follow the URL below to A (sorry- it's a parking lot close to the TLV port so it doesn't have a proper address). We'll do our best to make it one of the coolest trails of the year!!
Lost? call MD:053.280.5002

P.S.- It is going to be ridiculously hot out tomorrow. bring hat sunscreen water etc.  Trail will be weather appropriate.  

Hash Scribe