Hash Trash Run 863, Directions to Run 864
Hello fellow Hashers!
Ah, South Tel Aviv.
Where the near-extinct species of free parking-lot exists, where narrow streets are lined with bare concrete and smell of urine, where getting screamed at for being noisy on Saturday and running past a bustling coffee-shop happens on the same street, where you can just catch a glimpse of the Mediterranean but then it's blocked out of sight by a huge ugly building.
"It's barbaric, but hey - it's home!" (Aladdin)
We gathered at precisely 1600 hrs (nice one Deliverance!) and our Hare set us out looking for the Holy Flour. Grave Robber decided to pardon one offspring and only child-abused Just Chiara. Cpt. Caveman was practicing his blowjob techniques on the Hash Horn.
The streets were winding and Holds were plentiful, although some Hashers thought the Halfway circle was a bit... too well-camouflaged on that tiny patch of grass. Hare blames rain, Hashers blame Hare.
We sang the always-a-classic More Beer and kept going. Our Hare took us through some more Tel-Avivian crowds and sewage, and finally we arrived at the circle, only to be greeted by a half-asleep Quickie, who couldn't wait for us to arrive so he could get his hands on some beer.
To everyone's delight (except for Spit or Swallow), the FRB Pendant-of-Shame made a dramatic comeback, and was immediately stripped bare (seriously, that crap was getting ridiculous).
Stiff Meat reminded us all of his English-poetry roots with a nice Hash song. It involved the male genital, pulling action and "goop" - figure it out.
We sang, we drank bear, we cursed indiscriminately. We went home.
Down-Downs...
Hare: Fluffer
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: Stiff Meat
SCB: Grave Robber & Just Chiara
Balls+Chain: Fart Smella & Crock Sucker
Non-Returnees: Betty Cocker, Spit or Swallow, Fluffer, Caveman
Late cumming & Alcoholics Anonymous: Quickie
25 Runs: Double Entry
50 Runs: Fluffer
75 Runs: Crock Sucker
175 Runs: Deliverance
475(!!) Runs: Captain Caveman
...and now for this week's run:
Directions to Run 864:
It will be a truly holy Hash this time - will start from Yehoshua Yevin street in Jerusalem.
For you computer-challenged Hashers:
Enter Jerusalem from the main entrance (Caveman's Erection), follow signs to Sderot Menachem Begin South and get off at Givat Mordechai interchange. Take a left (heading East), drive up the hill and keep straight at the lights. You're there, stop when you see the Hare.
Lost? It's the holy city, pray for the heavens and you shall be saved.
Or just call the Hare: Crock Sucker 054-7471914
Other messages:
Twin Peaks has spent days and nights on a new and improved listing of Hashers' accumulated runs.
If you think your 25/50/75/500 badge is long due, check with her --> complain about it --> be shot down in flames.
Hare roster - are you there?!
Oct 23 - AmboHo
Oct 30 - Pig Woman
Nov 6 - Quickie
Nov 13 - Boston Creamed
Nov 20 - Deliverance
Nov 27 - Spit or Swallow
Dec 4 - Fart Smella
Dec 11 - Twin Peaks
On-on!
Hash Scribe
posted by Hash Scribe at 8:18 AM
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