Hash Trash Run 785, Di-ERECTION-s to Run 786

So, if you saw the directions to last week's hash, it should come as no surprise that everyone was late, a search party needed to be sent out to find wayward hashers and we did NOT/NOT start on time. After finally being told to check it out, we ran over hill and dale, through some serious shiggy trail, lost the trail for the 2nd week in a row (people! use a map!) and were somehow tricked into following a live hare up a gigantic hill. The view was nice, but the scribe could barely hear the description of what she was looking at- the sound of her own heart nearing explosion drowned out the tour. The halfway was meant to be a rousing rendition of "Hash House Family" but no one new the words, so we settled on "Father Abraham". Again. At the final hold, the hares gave up forcing us to find the trail, and instead told us to run down the road to the circle. Thank. freaking. god. DOWN DOWNS: Hares: Semen, Cassie FRB: Border Bitch DFL: Shaila Virgins: Gavin, Revital, Spit it Out Golden Shower: Cassie, Rami, Gili (a family that pees together...?), Shaila, Desperate Housewife, Fatty Tatty Marathon/10k: Wet Pussy, Dyke.Cum, Twin Peaks, Diablo, Quickie, Desperate Housewife, Border Bitch, Boston Creamed 1st Run: Etti Returnees: Cassie, Quickie, Fatty Tatty Slack Bastards Drinking All the Beer in the Parking Lot: Wet Pussy, Dyke.Cum, Fatty Tatty, Twin Peaks No Rhythm: Gavin Reincarnated High School Cheer Squad: Deliverance, Semen No Hash Kit: Amboho, Shaila RUN 786 Where: Tel Aviv Di-Erections: Hash will start on the corner of Ben Yehuda and Gordon, Tel Aviv. Paid parking can be found on Ha-Yarkon (between Frishman and Gordon) and on Mapu (between Ben Yehuda and Ha-Yarkon), otherwise try you luck with finding street parking. There will be an on-on afterwards, your hare will provide Indian Curry but if you would prefer a BBQ bring along some meat.  Please also bring along some snacks and drinks. Lost? Call your hare, Dike Dot Cum, on 054 558 1720 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash- DiERECTIONs to Run 785

Hash Trash Run 784: We met at Cheerio Park, the site of the summer hash where the hoon crashed into the curb while showing off for some girls and Russian Bride and Tiar Fruck coma'd out/napped the hash away... This meeting was less spirited than previous gatherings, perhaps because it was hot, perhaps because all the blobs on the trail had been cleaned by the 'street sweepers' and the hare couldn't quite remember where the heck we were meant to go. Never mind the millions of unleashed purebred dogs wandering the streets (only in Herzlia), or the lackluster attitude of hashers (probably still nursing holy-wine induced hangovers). Halfway arrived, The Hash House Family was croaked, and back to the circle we went. DOWN DOWNS Hare: Deliverance FRB: Crocksucker DFL: Boston Creamed Virgin: Leslie Lost in Space: Schneidlwutz/weinershnitzel (sorry, never quite got it.), Chuck and "Had to Pee" Heather At the Movies with popcorn cups: Caveman Shortcutting Bastardess: Crocksucker Child Abuse: Diablo, for forcing swamp monster to slog the 7k like a total champ Slept In: Longhorny UFO Sighting (and god was that hat ugly): Caveman School Buddies: Schneidlwutz/weinershnitzel & Twin Peaks We've Got Beers Left Over: Dyke.cum, Border Bitch, Ramalamablingdong DIRECTIONS to RUN 785 From your hare, Semen (spelling errors come free! witticisms in italics by your scribe- we're meeting in Ra/anna/Raanana/Raánana) yeah I looked it up on the map and guess what -- no street names. I can provide some instructions: We are meeting at the Raanana cemetary (great.). If coming from Tel-Aviv, take Route $ (one would suppose Route 4) and get off at the Raánana South exie (1st one), drive all the way down Ahoza Steet till Jerusalem Street and go toward the Ra/anna Park. Pass the part of the right and continue till round about. Turn right, pass the paarking lot on right and at second round- about turn left. You will pass a school (this sounds more like a threat than a direction). (I think that is Yair Street). Continue on that rd till Cemetary. If coming from Herzalia - drive towards Raánna and turn left on Jerusalem St. and then Left again at the light across from the large shopping center (the Park). Pass the park on the right and follow instructions from above. Lousy I know - but it's all i have. Lost (and won't we all be?!) - call 054-440-6313 HARE ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date. Dyke.Cum                       5/2/09 Ramalamablingdong     5/9/009 Fatty Tatty                       5/16/09 Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Proof that the Red Dress Run made the papers

This is from "24 Minutes" - the free paper they had out on the train.
We also made Y-net: http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3697071,00.html
Will try to post the video, too.

HASH TRASH 783- Di-ERECTIONS to Run 784

HASH TRASH 783- Di-ERECTIONS to Run 784 The pack met at a familiar corner in Kohav Hatsafon. They ran through the streets of Bavli, through the park and over the only section of shiggy trail in Tel Aviv. Deliverance nearly ate it on the trail and was honored back at the circle with some Junior Birdman. At the halfway Father Abraham was sung, holy wine was drunk and industrial-strength jello-shots were downed. The on-in was immediately after a final hold, in the hopes of producing a new FRB- the hares plans were nearly foiled when Twin Peaks saw the On In and immediately ran away from the circle, Border Bitch grabbed her by the shoulders, shook some sense into her and spun her in the correct direction. At the end of the run, there was a near hash-riot when the beer-meister and the RA attempted to make the hash culturally sensitive and ban beer in honor of Passover. After hashers tried to figure out the nearest place to get beer on a Saturday (answer: Nowhere), cursed mightily and sulked, there was a Passover/Easter/Wiccan miracle and a cooler of beer magically appeared. No one laughed, everyone drank. They then went to a bbq at DH and BB's house, where somehow the Hash Hound was allowed to eat a pork chop, bone and all. The hashers went home, the dog got sick. Down Downs Hares: Border Bitch and Desperate Housewife FRB: Twin Peaks DFL: Amy Virgins: Amy, Rob, Meirav Paparazzi: Boston Creamed Smelly Feet: Captain Caveman Thank God This Time We Didn't Need a Search Party: Ramalamablingdong Short Cutters: Croc Sucker, Scheidelwutz Returnees: Eti, Rami, Gilli, Yonatan 5 Years of Surviving Each Others Company: Border Bitch and Desperate Housewife Have a Nice Trip: Deliverance Insecure: Boston Creamed Di-ERECTIONS to Run 784 This Saturday's Hash will begin at the Dog Park (Cheerio) in Herzliyya Pituach at 4:00.  From Tel Aviv:  Take the coastal road (Highway 2) to the Kfar Shmaryahu exit and make a left at the light into Herzilya Pituach.  Continue down Keren HaYessod through 2 rotaries.  At the 2nd rotary make a right onto Wingate Street and continue until you see a large triangular park on your left.    Lost or any questions call Deliverance at 054-300-5092.   HARE ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date. Semen                               4/25/09 Dyke.Cum                       5/2/09 Ramalamablingdong     5/9/009 Fatty Tatty                       5/16/09 Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09  On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash 777 & Di-ERECTIONs to Run 783

HASH TRASH 777 - DI-ERECTIONS TO RUN 783 THE RED DRESS RUN FINALLY ARRIVED PROCEEDS OF RUN DONATED TO THE APPLE HOUSE   The pack arrived from near, far, and the beach across the street. Some hashers drove proudly to the hash in their outfits, others shamefully hid their glorious dresses under gigantic hooded sweatshirts, much the way a redneck teen would hide a pregnancy. The pack was harassed by the paparazzi from Ynet while applying lipstick to men, women and children-alike. Hashers ran in tutus, bridesmaid dresses, 1980s power suits and ballgowns. A child's kiwi hat was used as both a hat and a codpiece. There were fishnets, garter belts, knitwear leaving nothing to the imagination and lots of non-breathable fabric. It should be noted that the RA chose a dress that was not very flattering for his figure and may be reported to "What Not To Wear".    The pack took off like a bat out of hell, causing many to wonder whether they were being chased (they were, by the photogs on the motorcycle). It also became apparent that 95% of Tel Aviv residents have a camera on them at all times and they were content to step into the pack's path to snap a photo of the red blur. The halfway was a cause for celebration with Carlsberg, thanks to a cooler hauled with child-labor provided by Swamp Monster.   Along with the numerous stares, shouts and wolf-whistles as they ran down every main boulevard in the city, the H4 finally realized their spiritual home: The Hare Krishnas. The red-clad hashers whirled, clapped and shook it to the tune of Hare Hare Krishna and tambourine. They then formed a tight pack to run home and sing hash songs... this lasted for about 2 minutes, til yet again, they were out of breath. At the On In hashers scattered, some nearly colliding, trying to find the fastest way back to the circle. Beer was drunk, outfits were modeled, photos were taken. Down downs Hare: Diablo FRB: Captain Caveman DFL: Boston Creamed Dogooder: Croc Sucker Desert Run: No idea, the RA didn't write it down. The scribe's sheep hat may have been cutting off the blood flow. Imagine the usual suspects who run too much and too often. Virgins: Scheidelwutz, Chuck, Heather, Maria, Alon Returnees: Fatty Tatty, BorderBitch & Desperate Housewife Sexy Legs: Diablo Mating Rituals: BorderBitch & Desperate Housewife Love You Long Time: Longhorny Well Hung: Scheidelwutz, Desperate Housewife Sitting On the Hash: Penis Pan, Chuck Power Dresser/1987 Called And They Want Their Shoulder Pads Back: Penis Pan Hash Respect: Deliverance Namings: FunnyBoner AmboHo Photos of the event can be seen at http://picasaweb.google.com/holyland.hashers   DIRECTIONS TO RUN 783 with ON-ON after! When: Sat at 4 pm**, 11 April 2009 Where: The corner of Maurizio Vitale and Levi Eshkol in Kohav Hatsafon- BB and DH's corner. Directions: Seriously? How many times have we started here?! From Herzliya, head south on Namir Road (Rt 2), turn right on Shai Agnon just after the AMPM. Make a left at the first lights (Levi Eshkol). Park Yo' Car.  From the Ayalon: Exit at University/Rokach, turn left at the exit ramp. Make a right on Namir, then a left at the next lights (Shai Agnon), next lights make a left. Park Yo' Car. Bring fixins for a party after the hash- food, drink, salads. If lost or just need a shoulder to cry on, call  BorderBitch at 057 420 6844 ** Note the new summer hash starting time is now 4 pm. HARE ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date. Semen                            4/18/09 Deliverance                    4/25/09 Dyke.Cum                       5/2/09 Ramalamablingdong     5/9/009 Fatty Tatty                       5/16/09 Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Foto Friday - Holyland Hashers run Tel Aviv

First posted: 04 Apr 2009 11:04 AM PDT My running club, the Holyland Hash House Harriers, held a traditional Red Dress Run in Tel Aviv this weekend in celebration of our 777th run. The Hash, for the uninitiated (and yes, there is an initiation!), is an international running and beer-drinking dis-organization that specializes in fun runs. And here’s your proof...

HASH TRASH 782 - DI-ERECTIONS TO RUN 777

HASH TRASH 782 - DI-ERECTIONS TO RUN 777 THE RED DRESS RUN HAS FINALLY ARRIVED PROCEEDS OF RUN TO BE DONATED TO THE APPLE HOUSE The Haifa excursion We assembled in the parking lot at Cinema City.  Russian Bride made a surprise appearance.  We loaded the bus with beer.  We speculated about the drinking capacity of sailors.  We then loaded more crates of beer until the boot was full and off we headed to Haifa (via Ein Hod).  We arrived at Gate 5 of the port and were greeted by our fellow hashers, Russ and Rob. Lengthy discussions with security ensued.  Eventually we were granted entry.  Once all the big kids finally let the tour progress past the helicopter, we were given a wonderfully informative tour of HMS St Albans. Fart Smella asked a lot of questions.  Twin Peaks got distracted by the man in a towel in the bathroom.  Captain Caveman made himself comfortable in the captain seat on the bridge.  And for those who were just hanging to learn more about 'supercavitation', further information reading material can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ VA-111_Shkval. After a quick lunch, we regrouped at Gate 5 and circled up with 50 plus sailor boys and girls.  The hares, Russ and Rob, explained their peculiar marking system.  We checked it out. We ran. We stopped the traffic.  We had eggs thrown at us from windows above.  There was a minor altercation with a passing motorist. The driver soon realised that he was slightly out numbered one to 70 and wisely decided to drive on.  A crafty trail led us back to the main (and only) drag with watering holes three times. Us hashers learnt a few new terms like ATM and 'shave off'.  Captain America and his stooges questioned the wisdom of their hot synthetic suits after a couple of those famous Haifa hills. We returned to the Gate 5. We had a few beers.  We circled up. We had down downs. It got a tad rowdy. We decided that we didn't like the hares' names so we put Russ and Rob on their knees which many of the crew had waited years to witness.  We welcomed Lil' Nurse and Sea Cock to our Hash family. The drunken mob descended on them with beer and flour.  Order was not restored.  The boys drank us dry. So we loaded back on to the bus. Crock Sucker gave them a parting brown eye out the window. Deliverance entertained us (as usual) with a rendition of 'Rolling' by Tina Turner.  We had a desperate pit stop at McDonalds during the journey home.  Every tree in the parking lot was occupied by a hasher. Special thanks goes to Lil Nurse, Sea Cock, our RA Wet Pussy and Ass RA Fart Smella who pulled this event together which will be talked about for a long time to cum. Down downs Hares: Lil' Nurse and Sea Cock FRB: Mike (fit American sailor with cum-to-mumma-pecs) DFL: Crazy Kate, Becky Birthdays: Deliverance, Capt. America Not drinking at pit stops: They knew who they were Sprinting to the finish: Skippy, Multi, Taff Jones Barefoot runner: Jay Namings: Lil' Nurse and Sea Cock Photos of the event can be seen at http://picasaweb.google.com/holyland.hashers   RED DRESS RUN After a couple of false starts, the Red Dress Run is now upon us and its time to get those frocks and fishnets ready! Proceeds from the Red Dress Run will also be donated to the charity, The Apple House, which provides shelter to children who have suffered domestic violence and abuse and were removed from their family homes. It is currently caring for over 200 children.  If you wish to make an additional donation on the day, this would be gladly welcomed too. When: Sat at 4 pm**, 4 April 2009 Where: Gan Hakovshim Park, South Tel Aviv Directions: From Herzliya & North Tel Aviv, head south on Namir Road (Rt 2), turn right on Rokach Blvd.  Veer left at Tel Aviv Port on to Hayarkon St.  Follow street along beach front towards Jaffa.  At Dophinarium get to left and turn left at light (Nur Pines St) with mosque on left at corner, towards David Intercontinental Hotel.  Go to roundabout and coming back find parking at mosque or around Gan Hakovshim Park. If lost or in need of a wardrobe consultation, call Diablo at 050 561 2123 If you want to read about the history of the Red Dress Run go to ... http://reddress.gotothehash.net/history.html ** Note the new summer hash starting time is now 4 pm. HARE ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date. Border Bitch                   4/11/09 Semen                            4/18/09 Deliverance                    4/25/09 Dyke.Cum                       5/2/09 Ramalamablingbong     5/9/009 Fatty Tatty                       5/16/09 Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragib                               6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Virginia                           7/4/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com