26 September, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 648

HASH TRASH - Run 648
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
Hares: Ferfoxsake and Pusher
 
The weather was hot. We circled up and - in keeping with it being a Rosh Hash-ana run - were promised this would be "The Run of the Year"*. It was also characterized as having "Something for Everyone" as well as including one element that would separate the "Eagles" (those following the Way of the True Hasher) from the "Turkeys" (self explanatory). That said, the runners set out for the fields surrounding the EuroPark office complex.
 
The first half was fairly uneventful and conversation revolved mainly around the topic of shopping, specifically hydration accessories**, the most highly recommended being the Fuel Belt (cost- $28-35).
 
At the halfway point, tribute was paid to Dandruff and Pusher, who are going home to Australia, with a round of the first verse and chorus of that country's "best known and much loved national song". Engraved pewter mugs were later bestowed (and Dandruff is demanding a special 147 Hash patch).
 
It was then that we entered the Heart of Darkness. Following the Way of the Hasher, the Eagles - led by the valiant, trumpet-blaring R2D2 and C3PO - forged ahead through thorns, nettles, and reeds. Those trailing behind, (the so-called Eaglets) wished someone had thought to purchase a machete, seeing as they are designed to cut through underbrush, are not terribly expensive ($60-90) and come in very handy when Hashing. They could be used, for example, to quell over-enthusiastic Hares with a light tap to the head.
 
The troubling subject of men suffering bloody nipples has come up again and we cannot fault the sufferers for complaining. Will no one bring the Manzierre from Seinfeldian fiction into reality? After all, if a skort can be real ($48), then why not the Bro?
 
*Unclear whether this referred to Gregorian calendar year 2006 or Jewish year 5766, which just passed.
**Some of us may remember the days when this was called "drinking water out of a bottle".
 
Down-downs
FRB - Captain Caveman
SCB - Dr. Doolittle
Lance Amstrong Award - Dandruff
Virgins - Michael, Michelle
Instant Family Spanish Fly Award - Taco Balls
Returnees - C3PO, Dandruff, R2D2, Taco Balls
Eaglets - Boston Creamed, Michael, Michelle, Twin Peaks
Blooded Hashers - Boston Creamed, Caveman, Diabolo, Ferfoxsake, Michelle, Taco Balls
Big Girl's Blouse - Twin Peaks
 
Directions to Run 649
Place: Ramat Gan near the Diamond Center (and a block away from the British Council)

Meet in the parking lot next to the  
Publicis Ariely advertising agency
7 Achim Bezerano Street

From Ramat Aviv/Herzliya:
Take the Ayalon Hwy SOUTH
Get off at HA-HALACHA exit.
Head towards RAMAT GAN (away from Tel Aviv)
Get onto BIALIK ST.
Take your 2nd RIGHT onto TUBAL ST. (also written TUVAL)
Take your 1st LEFT onto ACHIM BEZERANO (also written BEJERANO)
You will see the PUBLICIS building and parking lot on your RIGHT.
Now slow down and look for street parking.
If you hit Abba Hillel Silver St., you've gone too far.
 
Lost? Call Boston Creamed: 054 215 2653
 
Fabulous Map:
 
IN CLOSING
What more can one say?
 
MUSICAL INTERLUDE
 
FYI... The 4th Annual Azrieli Staircase Race is Coming!
Date: November 3, 2006
Time: 9:30am (arrival between 7-9am, instructions at 9:20am)
Starting point: Parking level minus 4, the Round Tower
Finishing line: 49th floor
Cost - Between NIS 55-100 (competition); NIS 40-70 (general). See website for details.
Online registration: NIS 55 (early bird before Oct. 31) See website: http://www.shvoong.co.il/checkSession.asp or call 1 700 700 305
 
Schedule:
Elite group - 9:30am
Age group 2 - 9:40am
Age group 3 - 9:50am
Age group 4 - 10:00am
All others (group 5) - 10:10am
Closing ceremony - 11:00am
 
Translation of the fine print: The Elite group is open to men who ran previous Staircase Races in under 8:30 minutes and women in under 10:30 minutes, as well as high-level atheletes with proven experience as approved by the organizers.
 
Friends and family members can watch the race on big-screen video
 
AND...
Hear what "Waltzing Matilda" is actually supposed to sound like:
 
-- Boston Creamed


HASH SCRIBE
 

Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

posted by Rachel N. at 11:49 PM

21 September, 2006

HARE RAISER'S ROSTER 2007

NOTE: Hash starts at 15:00 (3:00pm)*
*until Daylight Savings Time begins, after which we'll move to 16:00 (4:00pm)

ANOTHER NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date. Contact Hash Trash for the phone list.

October
27 Twin Peaks - 705

November
3 Lager Lout - 706
10 Captain Caveman- 707
17 Deliverance - 708
24 Dead Boring - 709

December
1 Outrigger - 710
8 FerFoxSake - 711
15 Russian Bride - 712
22 Diablo - 713
29 Boston Creamed - 714

January
1 ??? will set the New Year's dip in the sea - 715
5 Goldmember - 716

posted by Rachel N. at 12:12 AM

20 September, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 647

HASH TRASH - Run 647
Twin Peaks' Tour of Two Hills

The weather was very, very hot but spirits were high as a large group gathered at the top of one of Ramat Gan's two major hills. Visiting Hasher Huge Packer of the San Diego HHH was briefed on the local marking system -- 1, 2, 3 and you're on -- and On-on we were.

Seventies nostalgia seemed a major theme of the run, as the previous night's Quiz event had included a question about a certain landmark dance song by Van McCoy that had T.C. boogying uphill to the disco beat. We would have run to the tuneful strains of Swiss cow bells, had last week's FRB not neglected to carry a certain something, the lack of which would cost him a down-down later on.

The halfway point was at the top of Ramat Gan's other high hilltop. Twin Peaks tried to share her new-found passion for country music by leading everyone in a song based on an old joke about country music* but the group's response ranged from highly unenthusiastic to downright hostile. Apparently Hashers don't do well with deeply heartfelt, melodic songs - at least not while sober - but does this condemn us to lifetime of "Father Abraham"? Perhaps the Hash Songbook (link accompanied by user ID and password** this time) will rescue us from our dire musical straits.

The second half was short and sweet. Taking shortcutting to its logical extreme, Dr. Do-little suddenly appeared out front, leading the runners in sudden burst of speed, and eliciting the following exchange:
Ferfoxsake: "Where'd he come from?"
Deliverance: "I think he popped a Viagra."

On the way back, Captain Caveman's chest started giving him trouble, but kudos are still in order for running 30k that morning. Just keep swabbing those nipple rings with alcohol, Captain, and you'll be alright in no time.

*The joke goes:
Q: What do you get when you play country-western songs backwards?
A: You get your wife back, your house back, your dog back, and you sober up.
** User ID: shiggy / Password: gispert

Down-downs
RA - Ferfoxsake
FRB - Diabolo
No Bell - Diabolo
Lance Armstrong Award - Katherine
Virgin - Huge Packer
On-on - Dr. Do-little
Luddite - Deliverance (had everything but the heart rate monitor band)
Returnees - Captain Caveman, Ferfoxsake, Goldmember, Neverfucker, Twin Peaks
Farrah Fawcett Award - Captain Caveman
Taking a Phone Call in the Circle- Goldmember

Doing The Hustle - T.C.
Getting Back - Twin Peaks
Directions to Run 648
Date: September 23
Time: 16:00 pm
Place: Yaqum exit, south of Netanya
Important: There will be an On-on afterwards (details below)
From wherever you are go NORTH on Hwy 2
Past Herzliyya Pituach / Kfar Shmaryahu exit
Past Rishpon exit
Past Gaash exit
Then take the Yaqum exit as if you are going to Europark.
You will see a Gas Station as you exit the Hwy and before Europark Complex.
Circle is behind the Gas Station or somewhere nearby.
Meet the hares Pusher & Fer Fox Sake at 4pm.
Lost? Call Pusher or in case of real emergency call Fer Fox Sake who can give you directions on how to run there.

MAP (completely misspelled and for some reason doesn't mention Europark)
ON-ON ON-AFTER !!!
Dandruff is back here on Wednesday and on Saturday there will be a farewell On-on for Dandruff & Pusher at Lager Lout's house. Please bring meat to BBQ and a salad to share.
Address:
1 Hamelech Yehoshafat St
Herzliya Pituach
QUERY No. 1: Scamology 419
Hash Trash this week received a missive from a certain Dr. Gregory Mancer of the UK, who wishes "to make a transfer involving a huge amount of base 15,000,000.00 {Fifteen Million B.Pounds Sterlings} of Late Mr Mark Smith who died (sic)". Dr. Mancer proposes an offer of 20% of the total amount to be ours after the transfer has been successfully concluded. Wow, kids, this sounds like a great offer. Suggest we submit it to this website, solely devoted to the literary genre originated by the Lads from Lagos. Other (printable) suggestions welcome, too.
QUERY No. 2: Hash Weekend or Bust
Interested? Time's a wasting! Write to hashers_r_us@yahoo.com.
AND, IN CLOSING: Holyland HHH Gets Hard Core
Embroidered patches are sooo 20th century...

http://www.crustydemons.co.uk/UK/tattoo_parlour/viewer.php?clip=w2&id=4&msg=On%2Don%20Holyland%20Hash%20House%20Harriers%21

-- Boston Creamed


HASH SCRIBE


Why keep checking for Mail? The all-new Yahoo! Mail shows you when there are new messages.

posted by Rachel N. at 7:21 PM

13 September, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 646

HASH TRASH - Run 646
Hares: T.C. and Dr. Doolittle

It was hot as we circled up on in a dusty lot on the border of Herzliya and Har Nof. Althought the run was not far from the national park that houses the ancient city of Appolonia, we never made it inside the gates but veered off instead towards Herzliya Pituach. This seemed wrong to some* who kept DFR-ing it northwards until logic** prevailed.

On-on we ran under the boughs that shade Ha-Nassi St. so beautifully. There was a statue of a lion at the halfway point that served as inspiration for a heartfelt rendition of "Born Free". It was then we learned that today's young folk don't know about Elsa the lioness, a shortcoming that must be rectified, so Pussycat, this link is for you.

The runners' ranks were diminished during the second half as Dr. Doolittle joined the walkers while Pusher "forgot" that he'd promised to join the run... or did he? In any case, it was very hot, in case that wasn't mentioned hitherto, and a nice cold beer was just the prefect refreshment at the end.

Hashing in absentia, Dead Boring phoned it in -- literally -- sending an SMS from parts unknown that read: "Tell everyone I have just run 12k on the hotel treadmill". So, here's to him, he's a blue, etc. etc.

*To me, primarily.
** Illogic, I think!
Down-downs
FRB: Diabolo
DFL: Deliverance
SCB: Dr. Doolittle
Being too good and volunteering to set the Hash: T.C.
Liar: Pusher
False Accuser: Deliverance
Terrible Handwriting: Dr. D.

Directions to Run 647
Time: 16:00 pm
Place: Ramat Gan
Coming from the North
Take the Ayalon Freeway south towards Tel Aviv.
Get off at HA-HALACHA exit.
Stay to your RIGHT following the sign for RAMAT GAN and BIALIK Street.
Cross over the bridge - this puts you on Bialik Street.
Go straight through 4 traffic lights -- at the 5th traffic light turn LEFT onto JABOTINSKY.
Go straight through 1 traffic light and before you reach the 2nd traffic light turn RIGHT onto ZOHAR Street (a little side street). Go till the end.
Turn LEFT onto HERZL then a QUICK RIGHT onto MOSHE SHARETT street.
Up the hill and park on the street near the Ben Gurion School.
If you reach a water tower you have gone to far.
Lost? Call Twin Peaks
Map:
QUERY - HASH WEEKEND
All those interested in a Hash trip over the Thanksgiving weekend break, please write to Hash Scribe at hashers_r_us@yahoo.com.
HASH IN POTENTIA? CHEESE ON TOUR
The Web's number one site for pictures of cheese in famous places.
Hashers take note: There are not enough pictures of cheese in the Middle East, none of cheese in Israel and the Bulgarian situation is also strangely bleak. http://www.cheeseontour.com/

IN CLOSING: ISRAEL RUN CALENDAR 2006 (and some 2007)
Now you can never say you didn't know...



-- Boston Creamed


HASH SCRIBE


Why keep checking for Mail? The all-new Yahoo! Mail shows you when there are new messages.

posted by Rachel N. at 8:32 PM

11 September, 2006

Pregnant Pause's Favorite Hash Songs

Pregnant Pause's Personal List of Favorite Hash Songs

1. DINAH
Dinah won't you blow me,
Dinah won't you blow me,
Dinah won't you blow my ho-o-orn
Someone's in my sister's vagina, someone's in my sister I know-wo-wo-wo
Someone's in my sister's vagina, and pumpin' like a dynamo

2. WHY ARE WE WAITING?
(Melody: O Come Let Us Adore Him)
Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .
Heineken, schmeineken, - chant
Heineken, schmeineken,
Fuck that shit!
Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon!

3. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
(To the tune of Hava Nagila)
How would you like my finger in your (r)ear
How would you like my finger in your (r)ear
Oh no, not bloody likely, not bloody likely, not bloody li-ikely, heh!

4. OU EST LE PAPIER?
(To the tune of The Marseillese)
A Frenchman went to the lavat'ry,
To have him a jolly good shit,
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that nothing was there,
"Ou est le papier?" Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, J'at fait manure.
Ou est le papier?

5. LOVE ME TENDER
(Melody: Love Me Tender)
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . . .

6. HERE'S TO BROTHER (SISTER) HASHER(S)
Here's to brother hasher(s),
Brother hasher(s), brother hasher(s),
Here's to brother hasher(s),
May s/he (they) chug-a-lug.
S/He's (Their) happy, he's (their) jolly,
S/He's (Their) fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher(s),
May he (they) chug-a-lug.
So drink motherfucker(s),
Drink motherfucker(s),

7. ALI ZOOMA ZOOMA ZOOMA
(Chant)
Ali zooma zooma zooma,
Ali zooma zooma chief,
Drink it down you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down you Zulu chief,
Drink it down you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief!

8. S/HE'S THE MEANEST
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
And he takes it up the ass.
Drinking down, down, down,

9. S/HE'S OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
(Sometimes mooning the recipient)
S/He ought to be publicly pissed on
S/He ought to be publicly shot (bang-bang!)
S/He ought to be tied to a urinal
And kept there to fester and rot.

10. DOUGH, RAY, ME
(Melody: Do, Re, Mi)
Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I'll have another beer,
La, I'll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Dough . . . (etc)

11. INCEST TIME IN TEXAS
(Melody: Yellow Rose of Texas)
When it's incest time in Texas,
When there's no cunt to be found,
Your mother's in the bathroom,
With her panties halfway down,
No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it's incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can't be beat!

12. HASHERS, MEET THE HASHERS
(To the tune of The Flinstones)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From the Town of Melbourne
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down.

13. I'M LOOKING OVER
(To the tune of I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran with the mower.
One leg is missing,
The other is gone,
The third leg is shredded,
All over the lawn.
You see there's no use explaining,
The one remaining,
It's spinning on the carport floor (the carport floor),
I'm looking over,
My dead dog Rover,
That I over ran, that I over ran,
That I over ran with the mower!

14. I'M LOOKING DOWN ON
(To the tune of I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I'm looking down on
A 12 inch hard on
That I've had all afternoon
Went to the doctor, he told me to cough
I wish that he would have whacked it right off
Come to me Venus, massage my penis
And shrivel it like a prune
Cause I'm looking down on a 12 inch hard on,
I'll probably have till June, till June,
I'll probably have till June.

15. YANKEE DOODLE
(Melody: I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy)
Yankee Doodle he's a dandy,
Yankee Doodle do or die,
A real live asshole from the USA,
Piss on the Fourth of July.
Yank my doodle, it's a dandy,
Yankee Doodle zip your fly,
Yankee Doodle limped to London,
Wanking off his pony,
You are that Yankee Doodle guy.

16. RULE BRITTANIA
(Melody: Rule Brittania)
Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam
5 firecrackers up your asshole
Wham wham wham wham wham
Asshole, asshole,
A soldier I would be.
To piss, to piss,
Two pistols on my knee.
Fuck you, fuck you,
For curiosity.
To fight for the old cunt, to fight for the old cunt,
To fight for the old country.

17. PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
(Melody: Side by Side)
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.

18. LAST NIGHT I STAYED UP AND MASTURBATED
Last night I stayed up late and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would.
Last night I stayed up late to masturbate,
It felt so nice, I did it twice.
You should have seen me on the short strokes,
It felt so grand, I used my hand,
And you should have seen me on the long strokes,
It felt so neat, I used my feet.
Shake it, break it, beat it on the floor,
Smash it, bash it, thrust it through the door,
Some people seem to think that fornication's grand,
But for all-around enjoyment, I prefer to use my hand!

posted by Rachel N. at 11:12 AM

05 September, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 645

HASH TRASH - Run 645
Hares: Stroker, aided by Dead Boring

It was only hot and (thanks to an excellent set of directions) everyone gathered in time to see Pusher, once again, prove his readiness for Israeli citizenship with a crunching display of fender-bending parking expertise.

Dead Boring warned that there hadn't been enough flour to mark the trail properly, (Stroker having forgotten to buy flour had to borrow a cup or two from the neighbors). That said, the runners set off through the very same-y streets of Ramat Aviv, a neighborhood comprised of apartment block upon apartment block, connected by sidewalks paved with Ackerstein cobblestones, and cobbled with Ackerstein pavement slabs. Thank goodness some of the blobs were white flour and others brown whole wheat, otherwise the runners might have gotten mixed up, what with all those identical streets. The walkers, having nothing more than a detailed map to guide them, missed the halfway mark, and had to be called back.

The halfway point song was "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" replete with hand gestures. For those not yet familiar with this version, also known as the Hash Hymn, please refer to the following link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swing_Low,_Sweet_Chariot. There will be a pop quiz in the near future.

Boston Creamed has devised a little dance of joy that may be performed upon approaching any hold or while in the circle: simply run backwards for a few steps and do a little jig. The part where you step on and crush your sunglasses is optional.

Some statistics about the run: Fifty percent of the run was set in whole wheat flour and fifty percent in white flour. Fifty percent of the hares were female and fifty percent were male. Fifty percent of the runners were female and fifty percent were male. Fifty percent of the runners were FRB at any one time, while fifty percent were DFL.

And now, without further ado...
Down-downs
RA - Dead Boring

FRB - Boston Creamed
DFL - T.C.
SCB - Dr. Doolittle
Returnee - Pat
Condomnation - Bravefart
Stinky (and parking like an Israeli) - Pusher
Flourless - Stroker
Dancin' Fool - Boston Creamed
Directionally Challenged - Lager Lout
25 runs - Boston Creamed
50 runs - Stroker

WARNING: Bravefart has accessorized the Hash Shit shirt with some attractively long latex balloons (6-9 inches) that should now not be reused because they have pin-holes in them.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
Another "7 Seconds of Love" hit video (with cute kittens):


Directions to Run 646
Time: 16:00 pm
Place: Nof Yam / Herzliya Pituach
Directions: Take Route 2/Coast Hwy/Namir Rd north to the Rabin interchange (Herzliya Pituach - Kfar Shemaryahu).
Turn LEFT on Keren Hayesod.
Proceed to the second traffic circle (Wingate St).
Turn RIGHT on Wingate.
Half kilometer on the left will be a dirt parking lot (immediately beyond Tamir Park; just opposite HaBrosh St).
Hares will be waiting there. Cheers.
Lost? Call TC or Pat
Map (in Hebrew, etc.):
IN CLOSING - FROM THE STRATOSPHERE:

AND GLAD TIDINGS FROM THE BLOGOSPHERE...
Good news! In addition to being listed on the Global Hash Trash, the H4 blog has been accepted to the A1 Hash House Harriers (H3 Web Ring) exposing us (!) to over 140 other Hash sites from around the world.



-- Boston Creamed


HASH SCRIBE


Why keep checking for Mail? The all-new Yahoo! Mail shows you when there are new messages.

posted by Rachel N. at 1:40 PM

01 September, 2006

ISRAEL RUN CALENDAR 2007

ISRAEL RUN CALENDAR 2007
Season Opener - Glil Yam 5k
07-Sep-07
LINK
Zichron Yaakov
20-Sep-07
LINK
Kochar Yair
12-Oct-07
LINK
Women's Run
12-Oct-07
LINK
Zahala Run
13-Oct-07
LINK
High Tech Companies' Run
19-Oct-07
LINK
Holon Run
19-Oct-07
LINK
Ramat Gan Safari Run
26-Oct-07
LINK
Glil Yam Run
02-Nov-07
LINK
Misgav Run
03-Nov-07
LINK
Azrieli Steps Run
09-Nov-07
LINK
Magnes Run
13-Nov-07
LINK
Lehavim Run
15-Nov-07
LINK
Ayal Run - Ramat Hasharon 15k
17-Nov-07
LINK
Bet Shean Half Marathon
13-Dec-07
LINK

posted by Rachel N. at 10:11 PM