31 May, 2013

Hash Trash Run #998, Directions to Runs #999-1000

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hares' view of the 999th&1000th Hashes (and this time, uncensored and uncut!) in order of occurrence:
Hash 1000 - 
Run 1000.  It was a pub crawl... Hares can't remember much... Except for sacrificing ourselves for some cold beer in the hot weather. 

We ran, walked and drank; ran, walked and drank, DANCED a bit to Father Abraham, ran, walked and drank until the run was finished. Finally, we drank more while virgins and visitors were introduced, returnees were reintroduced and we welcomed "Shooting Blanks" to the ranks. Then we all went to Mikes and drank until Just Shou finished the night with a bang.
It was smashing!!

Hash 999 - 
V 1.0
The Red Dress Run was a fun affair. Finally a large turnout of some of the latest in Women's Fashion with a nice assortment of Blond Wigs.(Hansel and Gretel stood out in particular).

Visitors from all over the world and even some media to cover the event, were present.

Tel Aviv Streets were treated with a fiasco of color and noise.

A rendition of "Joe Button", on Rothschild Blvd, had the Tel-Avivians in awe.

On return to the Elifilet Circle, the usual foolishness, was toped up with the Naming of Just Shou as "Young Ass Hopper". But apparently in choosing this name, the Hash screwed up, because Shou actually loves the name...

Anyway it was fun ( a S H I T T Y   T R A I L).

V 2.0
Last Saturday had the Israeli Police force on high alert (Konenut).
After several unannounced raids on the major mental institutions in the Tel-Aviv region the special SWAT teams returned to their bases. This reporter learned that the cause of this action was because of reports from astonished citizens that over 50 "loonies in red dresses" were running amok throughout the streets of Tel-Aviv, making noise, shouting, whistle-blowing, attempted horn-blowing, and being general "pains-in-the-asses".
This rabble rousing group was caught on Rothschild Blvd. praising some working-class hero named Joe (maybe they're commies).
Afterwards they were found again at an abandoned parking lot off Elifelet st. drinking beer, pouring beer over peoples heads and acting like maybe they did escape from some institution.
Later on they seemed to not be able to calm down and went to Norma Jeans where they continued their mayhem.
Beware, it turns out they do this every Saturday (it appears that the color of the dress changes though).


So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 999:
Hares: Captain Caveman and Double Entry
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: White Pointers
Visitors: Russian Bride, Tire Fruck, Dr. Dolittle, Joint Venture
Relievers (& Down-Down Duel): Deliverance, Russian Bride
Virgin: Just Carla, Just Nicole, Just Nir, Just Michael, Just Inbal, Just Doree, Just Yogi, Just Miri, Just Janice
Misnamers: Fart Smella, Twin Peaks, Lay a Bitch
Hashy Birthday: Just Leslie
Naming: Just Shou is now Young Ass-Hopper!

Down-Downs Run 1000:
Hares: Pig-Woman and STD
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: No one really recalls, maybe it was Just Sagie...
Naming: Just Pete is now Shooting Blanks!
Other Down-Downs: We were too drunk to write at that point.

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1001:

Meeting timeSaturday June 1st., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Parking lot off of Maskit st. Herzliya Pituach (Here.

On-After: None that I know of..

Maps: From Tel-Aviv (Derech Namir) Here

Directions: 
Take Derech Namir Road to Highway 2 North. 
Exit at Ha Sira exit into the Industrial Zone/Abba Evan Street.
Make your first right onto Maskit Street and continue for about 200 meters and on your left you will see a large pay parking area. 
Take a Left at the end of the parking lot.
You may park for free near in the blue and white spaces surrounding the paring area. 
We will meet at the corner near Wine and More (the south-western corner)

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Deliverance 
050-2634684

Other messages
  • A New BeerMeister is needed! Come on, take the beer off of Caveman's hands.
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!
June 8 - #1002 - Gadhaffi
June 15 - #1003 - Spit or Swallow
June 22 - #1004 - Fuck Head
-- 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

24 May, 2013

This Just In (Regarding today and tomorrow)

Hi all,

News flash:

For today's Hash bring a funny, silly, cool hat so we will stand out like we like.

For tomorrow's Hash bring a noise maker, so no one will miss us!


--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

23 May, 2013

Hash Trash Run #998, Directions to Runs #999-1000

Hello fellow Hashers!

This Hash-Trash is going to start the usual way but the actual blast is saved for last, and includes directions to the...
999-1000 Hash Weekend!!!

So here's the Hare's view of the 998th Hash:
It was a beautiful, sunny, not too hot day for a Hash.
We met near Jaffa in a park next to the ocean. The Hash went up thru old Jaffa (where the hare lost the trail), down to the port area for a beer stop (where the hounds lost control) and then back thru the market area all the way back to a parking lot (where the people around us lost patience).
The trail markings for the first half were made with semolina so X-ray vision was needed to follow the trail, but we somehow manged... 
Shou and 2nd Hand Job enjoyed setting the trail becoming part of an Ethiopian wedding party along the way.
All in all, The views of Tel Aviv were super from the top of the amphitheater and made up for an otherwise shitty trail. 

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 998:
Hares: 2nd Hand Job & Just Shou
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: Double Entry (running barefoot & with thongs)
Misnamers: Twin Peaks, Just Pete, Capt Caveman, Spit or Swallow
Relievers: Capt Caveman
Tech on trail: 2nd Hand Job, Just Shou
Returnee from vacation in "Vermont": Double Entry
Loss of Tuscany Trip: Twin Peaks
Flying: Just Shou

And Now For This Week's Runs: 
For any additional information call
Spit or Swallow @ 054-6717787
Or
Captain Caveman @ 052-2445644

Directions to Run 1000:

Meeting timeFriday May 24th.16:00, 1600hr, 4pm (Please cum EARLY!!).

Location: On the Promenade across the street from Mike's Place HERE.

Shirts: Will be sold at the location. They are dri-fit, and will cost about 60 shekels.

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! - At the very loved Mike's Place - There is a set menu we got, it'll cost a 100 shekels each and will include a main course and a couple of beers each (tip not included). So come hungry!!

Maps: From HaShalom interchange on Ayalon Hi-way Here

Directions: (from HaShalom Interchange) 
1. Head west on Giv'at HaTahmoshet/גבעת התחמושת‎ toward Exits HaShalom interchange-מחלף השלום‎
2. Continue onto Eliezer Kaplan/אליעזר קפלן‎
3. Continue onto Dizengoff/דיזנגוף‎
4. Dizengoff/דיזנגוף‎ turns slightly right and becomes Reines/ריינס‎
5. Turn left onto Frishman/פרישמן‎
6. Turn left onto Retsif Herbert Samuel/רציף הרברט סמואל‎


And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Pig Woman 
052-4603494


Directions to Run 999 - Red Dress Run!!:

Most Importantly: It's a Red Dress Run - Wear your best dresses. All of you. Even the ladies!

Meeting time: Saturday May 25th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm (Please cum EARLY!!).

Location: Parking Lot on Elifelet St. HERE.

Shirts: Leftovers (if any) Will be sold at the location. They are dri-fit, and will cost about 60 shekels.

On-After: Most Probably at Norma Jean's.

Maps: From La Guardia interchange on Ayalon Hi-way Here

Directions: (from La Guardia interchange
1. Head west on La Guardia/לה גווארדיה‎ toward Exit to Route 1/יציאה לכביש 1‎
2. Slight left onto HaRakevet/הרכבת‎
3. Turn left onto Derech Menachem Begin/דרך מנחם בגין‎
4. Continue onto Derech Jaffa/דרך יפו‎
5. Continue onto Eilat/אילת‎
6. Turn left onto Elifelet/אליפלט‎
7. Turn right
Elifelet Parking Lot


And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Captain Caveman 
052-2445644 Or Double Entry @ 054-7909034

Other messages
  • Come on, on a day like today you want any more massages?!?!

-- 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

18 May, 2013

Directions to Run 998

Hey all,

Just a quick directional to the Hash:

Directions to Run 998:

Meeting timeSaturday May 18th.16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Southern most end of Charles Clore Garden - Next to Yaffo (here).

On-After: None that I'm aware of...


Directions: See Maps Above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call 2nd Hand Job
054-6129373

I guess I'll get a down-down for that, oh well, I need some beer...

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

10 May, 2013

Hash Trash Run 996, Directions to Run 997

Hello fellow Hashers!

At the important massages section please see Twin Peak's poll about Short Cutting. Please reply to the poll!!!

Hare's view of the 996th Hash:

It was a beautiful day for a Hash. Semen and myself (Twin Peaks, H.S.) enjoyed setting the trail as it was great time to catch up on all the gossip. Started in a parking lot near the Tiv Ta`am, ran through the fields, into a park, into a neighborhood -- a little bit of everything. There were a few issues like intermittent double blobs (bad), loosing the walkers (worse) and not having the words for the half way song (worst). Yet, All in All it was another great Hash. 

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 996:
Hares: Twin Peaks and Semen
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: Boston Creamed & Ghadaffi
Short Cutting Bastards: FuckHead (thought he was FRB) & Pig Woman (see ruling issue below)
Virgin: Just Steve (he mooned us -- some of us are still wondering how is ass was as tan as his legs)
Returnees: Semen (a constant returnee), FuckHead (flew Delta), Fluffer (Lazy), SOS (also Lazy), Ghadaffi and Hot Box (travelling)
Walkers (Lost): Second Hand Job, Hot Box and STD
Lost Wives: SOS and Fluffer (BTW - they were matching shirts)
Relieving: FuckHead (who was warned not to relieve himself so close to the circle next time. Not to mention, his littering habit - in this case when in Rome doesn't apply)
Long Cutting Bastard: Just Shou (he actually started to short cut but decided to go back and run the true trail)

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 997:

Meeting timeSaturday May 11th.16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: London Square- Tel Aviv (here) (next to McDonald's).

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! at Mike's or Molly's something that starts with an M.

Maps: From HaShalom interchange (on Ayalon Highway - Road #20) Here

Directions: See the map above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Just
 Pete 
054-6666047

Other messages
  • Very Very Important!!! 999-1000 Weekend is getting ever closer! Let all your friends know. Send them to our RDR page here: http://www.israelhhh.com/reddressrun-2013/ and to our Facebook event page here: https://www.facebook.com/events/517157881657747/

  • "Can a Hasher be called a "Short-Cutting Bastard" if the Hasher was checking for the true trail from a Hold but didn't find the correct trail and then cuts across a field or a road to catch up with the pack on the true trail?". 
    Caveman (the oldest Hasher and most runs) claims that if a Hasher is checking it out he/she cannot be considered a Short-Cutting Bastard
    Twin Peaks - the keeper of the rules, (self proclaimed - better looking, wiser, etc.) says that short cutting is short cutting whether you check it out or not.
    Please vote! (your opinion will be taken into consideration)

  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!
May 18 - #998 - Second Hand Job
May 24th-25th #999-#1000 - Hash Weekend!!!
June 1 - #1001 - Deliverance
June 8 - #1002 - Fuck Head
June 15 - #1003 - Spit or Swallow

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

03 May, 2013

Hash Trash Run 995, Directions to Run 996

Hello fellow Hashers!

RA's view of the 995th Hash:

We met in the center of TLV. A windy run towards Jaffa then More Beer at the midway point. We stopped and had a beer at the Beer Market and continued the run back to TLV. Snacks and beer were consumed.
Short and sweet. Sweet.
 
So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 995:
Hare:  Just Shou, Second Hand Job, Just Pete
FRB:  Capt. Caveman
DFL:  Boston Creamed
Virgin: Just Scott
Misnaming:  Second Hand Job
Returnee:  STD
Stretching:  Just Jose
Weird Hat:  Just Pete
Best Shirt (tie): Head Down and Just Scott
Weight Watchers:  Capt. Caveman
Jerusalem Bus Driver: PigWoman (Pigheart)
Dumbshit:  Capt. Caveman
Arrested Development and Shamelessly long phone call:  Twin Peaks
Late Cummers:  PigWoman, Boston Creamed, Just Jose, Just Scott


...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 996:

Meeting timeSaturday April 4th.16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Tiv Taam in Ramat HaHayal - Tel Aviv (here).

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! (If you consider going to Tiv Taam an On-After)

Maps: From Road #4 Here

Directions: See the map above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call
Twin Peaks
052-8743662

Other messages
  • Very Very Important!!! 999-1000 Weekend is getting ever closer! Let all your friends know.
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
  • The new Hare Raising Roster is Here (partially) If you are not there yet you still have a chance to choose...

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!
May 4 - Twin Peaks
May 11 - Just Pete
May 18 - Just Diane
May 24th-25th - Hash Weekend!!!
June 1 - Deliverance

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe