HASH WEEKEND RECAP, Directions to Run 818

Sorry for the early HT, the Scribe (in her last appearance as Hash Scribe) is leaving for vacation tomorrow night... Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

So, the hash went on a wild two day jaunt to Kibbutz Tzuba. Despite the scribe imagining kibbutz life to be stress-free and filled with happy, smiling people, she found the reality was that it is staffed by a bunch of bipolar kill-joys and it smells like chickens. ANYWAY. We went for a fat hashers dream run- a short jaunt around the kibbutz in the dark, a few hashers fell down a small incline into some prickly bushes and we wrapped everything up with a barbecue where we ate like we'd been raised by wolves. Food was consumed in gluttonous quantities, whole bottles of wine went missing down the throats of thirsty hashers. Too many runs in Tel Aviv left us soft in the face of the chill and we bundled up like we were on Everest in the mountain air. Dinner was finished and the pack retired for a quiet little sing-a-long in BB and DH's room... or 4 hours of 30 people shoved into a room singing top-of-the-lungs karaoke. It. Was. Awesome. The scribe wishes she could remember more than Quickie and Foreplay singing "It's my life" and hotel management banging on the door midway through "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"… the wet blankets (kibbutznikim) inspired a "quieter" karaoke, where in between each verse, the remaining hashers screamed SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then kept singing.

 

Fully hung-over and (not) ready to run, the 2^nd hash started more or less on time in a nearby park. Just Ryia, PigWoman and PornQueen set a shig-tastic hash with a long straight shot (up a hill) to the finish. The scribe really regretted the red wine lunch she partook in. Some nice gentlemen from the European Commission took our photo but declined to run with us; they said something about being 'serious athletes'. Whatever. There was A LOT of peeing on the hash, sitting on the hash and racing on the hash, all of which are illegal and all of which was punished at the downdowns. Just Ryia became OnOne, but will always be TastyKakes to the hashers with a Philadelphia Connection.

 

DOWN DOWNS RUN 816

Hares: Deliverance and Twin Peaks
FRB: Fluffer and Pig Woman

DFL: TastyKakes On One

SCB: Desperate Housewife

Returnees: Woodcock, R2D2, C3PO, Rocket, Free Willy, Jessica, Juliana, Foreplay, Demaris

Misnaming: Floater and Twin Peaks

16 Candles (plus 24) Down the Drain: Fatty Tatty

Golden Shower: Desperate Housewife

Bright, Shiny, New Shoes: Caveman

Playing with themselves: Desperate Housewife, Floater, Border Bitch

Going Down: Floater and TastyKakes On One

Peek-a-boo: Walkers

Jiggly Juggies: Twin Peaks

Time to use a flowbee: R2D2, C3PO, Free Willy

 

DOWN DOWNS RUN 817

Hare: TastyKakes OnOne, PigWoman, PornQueen

FRB: Fluffer

DFL: Twin Peaks and Deliverance

Golden Shower: Desperate Housewife, Wind Breaker, Semen, Deliverance

Stage Fright: Goldmember

Lazy Bastahds, get off your tuchuses!: C3PO, R2D2, Twin Peaks, Floater

Misnaming; Floater

I AM IRONMAN! Windbreaker, Semen

Sissy Hashers in their long pants: Essentially Everyone.

 

DIRECTIONS TO RUN 818

Hare: Captain Caveman

From CC: I usually plan Hash runs in advance but out of the goodness of my heart I switched with Boston Creamed. I don't know, I keep thinking where will I set the run?  How about the Ikea parking lot at Poleg junction, Netanya?

Help in setting the trail will be appreciated or it may just turn into a "Regular Captain Caveman crappy run with no walking trail". (EDITORS NOTE: Remember, he's usually inebriated and then we all get lost, so please someone volunteer!)

 

Lost and can't find Ikea? Look on the internet!

052-2445644

 

HASH ROSTER!

5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Boston Creamed
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash run 815, HASH WEEKEND INFO!!

 Another Saturday, another circle. Hashers managed to find parking AND the start and found a circle untouched by nosey Tel Avivians... The walkers outnumbered the runners, which was CRAZY since there were at least 25 in the pack. The runners were promised 7k of running and obstacle course fun, but it clocked in at a totally doable 5.5k- the scribe has nothing to complain about, because she joined the walkers and had a nice cold beer in her hand. Back at the on on (slash) down downs, the pack underwent the longest set of down downs ever, most of which were drunk by Just Susan. Neighbors peered out of their windows at the debauchery as beer was sloshed, plates were smashed and Long Horny will probably never be allowed to have the hashers over to play again.

DOWN DOWNS
Hare: Long Horny

FRB: Fart Smella

DFL: Just Susan, Twin Peaks

Escaped the German: Paul

(Rocky Theme) 15k A$$ kickers: Border Bitch, Desperate Housewife, Goldmember, Deliverance

Sittin' around: Caveman, Just Susan, Croc Sucker
Dude, we have been OVER THIS, where the hell is your hash kit?!: Bullshit, Tony

Last Hash: Your Honor

Bright, shiny, new shoes: Deliverance
Dog Abuse: Gene
Returnees: White Pointers, Squidgy, Tony, Bullshit, Demaris

HASH WEEKEND!! IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN US!
We will be heading up to Kibbutz Tzuba (http://tzuba.co.il/) near J-town. Don't be lazy... JOIN US.
Friday Nigh Run at 1900 (sheva, siete, seven)
Hares: Twin Peaks, Deliverance

Saturday Run at 1500 (shalosh, tres, trois, ee-thray)
Hare: Ryia

HASH ROSTER!

21-Nov Ryia
28-Nov HELP! WE NEED A SUBSTITUTE HARE!!! AHHHHHH!!!! HELP!!!!!
5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH TRASH 814, Directions 815

We rendezvous'd at a random corner in South Tel Aviv, but a different random corner than we'd planned due to construction. Tongues wagged as we trotted down the street (fully dressed this time, but just as sexy), and there was general chatter and the ever present talk of sports bras and running gels. A record number of hash hounds joined us on the trail, eating the flour and licking the salty nasty hasher bodies. The halfway had us sing Father Abraham, where if not for the melodious voices of Twin Peaks and Border Bitch the group would have forgotten the final verse. Dammit, people! Yet again the hashers missed a turn and ran into outer space, sheep following the one in front of them until they'd taken a 3 block detour (EDITORS NOTE: We did yell "R You" and some dumbass screamed "On On" continuing the farce in the wrong direction).  We circled up at the end of the run in a different spot than where we started and were nearly mowed down during the downdowns... no word from the driver, only a revving of the underpowered engine and a nasty look. I love Israel. Before scattering, Just Maria lost her name and while there were some good options, she will forever be known to us as Ouzogasm.

 

DOWN DOWNS
FRB: Caveman

DFL: Ambo Ho

Golden Shower: Desperate Housewife

Returnees: R2D2, C3PO and Rocket

Double Trouble Misnaming: Fatty Tatty and Wet Pussy

I don't care that you're a Dallas fan, where the hell is your hash kit?!: Pig Woman and Long Horny

Hash Booty Pants: Ryia

Virgins: Sarah, Phil and Gene

Cell Phone Induced Brain Tumors: Twin Peaks and Pig Woman

Late cummer: AIDS

Lost? Check for flour: Pig Woman, Fluffer and Caveman

Naming: Ouzogasm

Directions for Hash 815- New and Improved With Texas Chili On On!

 

Hare: Longhorny
Where: Address:  21 Arnon Street, apartment 6.  Questions?  Long Horny 054.534.9677 - Saturday at Three (3, 1500, Tres, Shalosh)

On-On after the run at Longhorny's apartment- bring salads, veggies and sundry delicious items.

Directions from all points:

Take Rt 20/Ayalon (or Nimr Street) South toward Tel Aviv.  Exit at Rokah West.  At the Port, Rokah turns left and becomes Hayarkon St.  Continue South on Hayarkon until just after it dips under the Marina Hotel.  As you exit the short tunnel, go to the left turn lane before the Sheraton Hotel.  Make a U-Turn from that lane back onto Hayarkon heading North.  Make an immediate right onto Gordon St.  

Go one block east on Gordon to the first light, turn Left on to Ben Yehuda Street.  Turn left just after Bank Hapolim on Yeshurun Street, which takes you into our square block.  Go left at the end of Yeshurun (onto Ruppin) and then two short rights (Hakerem and then Arnon).  

Parking is very limited on Arnon, but there is street parking in the neighborhood.  Paid parking is available in a garage nearby on Mapu Street and at the Marina/Carlton hotel.  Best to arrive early or carpool.

HASH WEEKEND:

If you are planning on joining us JUST SATURDAY NIGHT for the RUN AND DINNER please let Twin Peaks maureenkarassik@yahoo.com know ASAP! If you're staying over, check your email, more info just came in.

HASH ROSTER!

21-Nov Ryia
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong 

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH NEWS FLASH!!!

Don't forget!!!!

 

HASH WEEKEND:

If you are planning on joining us JUST SATURDAY NIGHT for the RUN AND DINNER please let Twin Peaks maureenkarassik@yahoo.com know ASAP! If you're staying over, check your email, more info just came in.

 

BEER BEER BEER!

Come join us for drinks at The Dancing Camel Brewery Hataasiya 12 (corner Hamasger)
Tel: 03-624-2783 on WEDNESDAY NIGHT from 2000! All proceeds will benefit the African Refugee Development Center (ARDC); we have a few hashers that are volunteering with the organization. There will also be a raffle for a case of some perdy darn good beer! 
 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH UPDATE FOR RUN 814!!!

Due to some unforeseen road works and road closures, tomorrows hashwill be moving its starting location (by two blocks).  The new starting point is on the corner of Leonardo da vinci and Eliezer Kaplan.

 
In terms of parking, there is some free street parking on Leonardo da Vinci north of Eliezer Kaplan.  There is also free parking in the same carpark where last weeks down downs were held (corner Dubnov and Sderot Sha'ul HaMelech).

Hash Trash Run 813, Directions to 814

The rain ceased, the heavens parted and the hos and pimps of Tel Aviv came out in force.  This hash provided Desperate Housewife with yet another excuse to dress up in women's clothing (and be spotted by someone from work).  Wet Pussy got the ball rolling with another classic joke from his ever expanding repertoire "Whats does an Amish man and a Pimp have in common? Answer: They both know how to work a ho(e)". Niiiiice.

Tel Avivians had to pick their jaws up off the floor when the pack ran past- One onlooker suffered whiplash to their neck as Semen checked it out past Brasserie (where DOES one get pantyhose like that???).  Semen's son made a brief appearance poking his head out of his apartment window to see his mother sporting a larger than normal rack (thanks to strategically placed sports socks) and a corset. Susan was questioned by the police, the Hos danced with street poles, Desperate Housewife was called a sexy mother fu&c*r and some Hos posed for a photo with goldfish?!?.  Back at the circle, beer was consumed, we wished Croc Sucker happy birthday and then it was back to the House of Porn (Queen) for some more shenanigans.

DOWN DOWNS
FRB: Fart Smella
DFL: Susan
Returnees: Fatty Tatty, Maria, Captain Caveman
Misnaming: Porn Queen
I'm turning 30 and I'm excited: Croc Sucker
New shoes: Semen
Virgins: Josh
Sexy mother phuuckers: Long Horny and Desperate Housewife
Police Stop: Susan
Best pimp outfit: Susan

Directions for Hash 814
Hash starts from Elazar Davis Street Tel Aviv

 
From Herzliya/points north via 20 (Ayalon):

1. Take the Kaplan Interchange and stay right (towards Azrieli Centre)
2. Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan
3. drive up Kaplan, when possible make a U turn
4. drive back east on Kaplan, turn right to Elazar David st.

From Jerusalem/points south via 20:

1. Take the HaShalom interchange and stay left (going towards Azrieli
Centre), turning left onto HaShalom
2. Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan
3. drive up Kaplan, when possible make a U turn
4. drive back east on Kaplan, turn right to Elazar David st.

From Haifa/points north via 2:

1. Turn right onto kaplan street from 2 south
2. at Azrieli junction turn right onto Kaplan Street
3. drive up Kaplan, when possible make a U turn
4. drive back east on Kaplan, turn right to Elazar David st.

Lost?  Call your hare Dyke dot cum - 0545581720

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com