24 November, 2009

HASH WEEKEND RECAP, Directions to Run 818

Sorry for the early HT, the Scribe (in her last appearance as Hash Scribe) is leaving for vacation tomorrow night... Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

So, the hash went on a wild two day jaunt to Kibbutz Tzuba. Despite the scribe imagining kibbutz life to be stress-free and filled with happy, smiling people, she found the reality was that it is staffed by a bunch of bipolar kill-joys and it smells like chickens. ANYWAY. We went for a fat hashers dream run- a short jaunt around the kibbutz in the dark, a few hashers fell down a small incline into some prickly bushes and we wrapped everything up with a barbecue where we ate like we'd been raised by wolves. Food was consumed in gluttonous quantities, whole bottles of wine went missing down the throats of thirsty hashers. Too many runs in Tel Aviv left us soft in the face of the chill and we bundled up like we were on Everest in the mountain air. Dinner was finished and the pack retired for a quiet little sing-a-long in BB and DH's room... or 4 hours of 30 people shoved into a room singing top-of-the-lungs karaoke. It. Was. Awesome. The scribe wishes she could remember more than Quickie and Foreplay singing "It's my life" and hotel management banging on the door midway through "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"… the wet blankets (kibbutznikim) inspired a "quieter" karaoke, where in between each verse, the remaining hashers screamed SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then kept singing.


Fully hung-over and (not) ready to run, the 2nd hash started more or less on time in a nearby park. Just Ryia, PigWoman and PornQueen set a shig-tastic hash with a long straight shot (up a hill) to the finish. The scribe really regretted the red wine lunch she partook in. Some nice gentlemen from the European Commission took our photo but declined to run with us; they said something about being 'serious athletes'. Whatever. There was A LOT of peeing on the hash, sitting on the hash and racing on the hash, all of which are illegal and all of which was punished at the downdowns. Just Ryia became OnOne, but will always be TastyKakes to the hashers with a Philadelphia Connection.



Hares: Deliverance and Twin Peaks
FRB: Fluffer and Pig Woman
DFL: TastyKakes On One
SCB: Desperate Housewife
Returnees: Woodcock, R2D2, C3PO, Rocket, Free Willy, Jessica, Juliana, Foreplay, Demaris
Misnaming: Floater and Twin Peaks
16 Candles (plus 24) Down the Drain: Fatty Tatty
Golden Shower: Desperate Housewife
Bright, Shiny, New Shoes: Caveman
Playing with themselves: Desperate Housewife, Floater, Border Bitch
Going Down: Floater and TastyKakes On One
Peek-a-boo: Walkers
Jiggly Juggies: Twin Peaks
Time to use a flowbee: R2D2, C3PO, Free Willy


Hare: TastyKakes OnOne, PigWoman, PornQueen

FRB: Fluffer

DFL: Twin Peaks and Deliverance

Golden Shower: Desperate Housewife, Wind Breaker, Semen, Deliverance

Stage Fright: Goldmember

Lazy Bastahds, get off your tuchuses!: C3PO, R2D2, Twin Peaks, Floater

Misnaming; Floater

I AM IRONMAN! Windbreaker, Semen

Sissy Hashers in their long pants: Essentially Everyone.



Hare: Captain Caveman

From CC: I usually plan Hash runs in advance but out of the goodness of my heart I switched with Boston Creamed. I don't know, I keep thinking where will I set the run?  How about the Ikea parking lot at Poleg junction, Netanya?
Help in setting the trail will be appreciated or it may just turn into a "Regular Captain Caveman crappy run with no walking trail". (EDITORS NOTE: Remember, he's usually inebriated and then we all get lost, so please someone volunteer!)
Lost and can't find Ikea? Look on the internet!



5-Dec Floater
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Boston Creamed
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Fluffer
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Fart Smella
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

Hash Scribe

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