Hash Trash Run 807, Directions to 808

IMPORTANT NOTE: Despite the attempt at misinformation from your RA, THE HASH WILL BE AT 4PM THIS WEEK. (Daylight savings finishes at 2am Sunday morning).

The pack met at a slightly damp car park in Ga'ash and Quckie was at pains to point out the this hash was only going to be 6km. We checked it out and headed towards the beach. The hashers navigated the first fence of the day with some choosing to go under and some over, Caveman managed to put a gash in his arm. We then headed down to the beach and copped an eyeful as we ran through the nudist beach. Quickie stashed a keg of beer with the life guards for halfway drinks and we sung a German children's song complete with actions (ED NOTE: which probably looked as dirty as that sounds). In the second half the pack stopped for a photo opportunity in the convex roadside mirror. With the circle just meters away the last obstacle of the day presented itself, with a gate that Quickie sweared was open when he set now firmly locked. Caveman decided to tackle the gate head on an managed to fall 2m from the top onto his back with a resounding crack ringing out and prompting concerns that he'd broken his back, as it turned out the the plastic bottle on his back was responsible for the noise but Caveman's ankle and hash horn did not escape unscathed and the hash walked slowly back to the circle with the limping Caveman. Cold beer was drunk and also placed on Cavemans ankle.


Down Downs
FRB: Pig Women
SCB: Roya, Croc Sucker
Misnaming: Seaman, Long Horny
Golf Balls: Tal
No Hash Kit: Pig Woman
Slept in: Long Horny
Walking Wounded: Caveman
Cheap Drunk: Fart Smella
Excess Energy R2D2, C3PO

DIRECTIONS TO RUN 808 STARTING AT 4 PM!!!!!

Hare: Goldmember
Where: The parking lot next to the Intercontinental Hotel and the Mosque in South Tel Aviv... you know, where we keep starting the hash from.
Lost? 052-267-1796

Draft Hash Roster: THIS IS YOUR FINAL CHANCE TO CHANGE DATES ON THIS CALENDAR! Speak now or forever set your hash!

3-Oct Desperate Housewife

10-Oct Twin Peaks

17-Oct VOLUNTEERS PLEASE!!!!

24-Oct Border Bitch NIKE NIGHT RUN

31-Oct Porn Queen & Tal PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!

7-Nov Long Horny

14-Nov Dyke.Cum

21-Nov Roya

28-Nov Boston Creamed

5-Dec Cassie

12-Dec Pig Woman

19-Dec White Pointers

26-Dec Captain Caveman

2-Jan Porn Queen

9-Jan Croc Sucker

16-Jan Goldmember

23-Jan Deliverance

30-Jan AIDS

6-Feb Tal

13-Feb Quickie

20-Feb AmboHo

27-Feb Semen

6-Mar RamalamablingDong

13-Mar Long Horny

Hash Trash Run 806, Directions to Run 807

Your scribe would like to thank the guest-scribe for filling in this week. Yes I did say I would never camp in the State of Israel again (really, Hof Dor was disgusting), but I was beaten into submission by Desperate Housewife.

Anyhoo, the following quotes were heard uttered during this shambles of a run:

"What would Border Bitch have to say about this run?" "Only a "g-d" walker would set a trail like this?" "What the "eff" were they (Fatty Tatty & Maria) thinking?" "%^&*%$#@@#$%^&&*&^^%$#@"

Guest Scribe heard other charming and vulgar expressions, but thinks that since this is a family hash, you get the point. She was also really glad she decided to walk. Fatty Tatty, were you trying to make up for your last run (which lasted all of 12 minutes)?! According to the pack, this trail was 4x as long. BE WARNED: Twin Peaks is threatening to start send a whole lotta you to REEDUCATION CAMPS ON TRAIL SETTING since she was the only one reeducated by Dr. DoLittle. For current REEDUCATION CAMP nominees scroll down, down, down...

Fatty Tatty and Maria realizing that the trail may be a bit too long and looking for some sort of redemption, handed out beers and Pringles for the dehydrated Hashers at the half way point. We sang More Beer and then a discussion of whether or not to short cut the second half ensued among the runners. Feeling refreshed after consuming beer and Pringles, they decided to run the trail. Quick Drunks. Soon after, the walkers caught up with the runners, who were not only short cutting but walking. Caveman and Tal tried to continue on the trail but alas decided to short cut back to the start.

DOWN DOWNS!
Hares: Fatty Tatty & Maria
FRSCB: (Front Running Short Cutting Bastard): Caveman
Virgin: Daniel
SCB: Deliverance, Tal, CrocSucker, Quickie, Fart Smeller
Run Over: Caveman (He was almost hit by a car and a motorbike)
Hip Hop: Quickie (Demonstrated how to wear pants so your underwear shows)
Late Cummer and No Hash Kit: Maria
Returnee: CrocSucker

DIRECTIONS TO RUN 807:

HARE: Quickie

Where: Ga'ash (Where?! Here is a google map to get you close), attached is a Quickie-Map

-- Take#2 north
-- Exit at Ga'ash exit
-- At 1st roundabout, go through short tunnel under#2 towards Ga'ash
-- After this short tunnel, take 1st exit in roundabout, go straight in next roundabout, leave commercial area on your left (eg. ACE)
-- At next roundabout go left (bookstore)
-- At next roundabout go right, you will come to commercial area G'ash, enter parking lot without pavement on your right

Lost??? You're probably better off: 054-4531333 Quickie

HARE ROSTER:

26-Sep Long Horny

3-Oct Desperate Housewife

10-Oct Goldmember

17-Oct Fart Smeller

***TRIVIA ANSWER*** Hashers to date that need re-education are Quickie, Semen, Wind Breaker, Fatty Tatty and Maria. Let me know a date that works for all of you.

On-on!
Hash Scribe
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 805, DiERECTIONs to Run 806

The scribe can barely think of words to recap this hash (the scribe can barely REMEMBER the hash). For once, there were no complaints (well, the 2+1 beer special did nearly induce Scribe-Vomitus Escapus). This may go down in history as The Greatest Hash Ever. If you missed it, you missed it. The run started out ominously when Boston attempted to run down the parking attendant (well, that was his version of what happened)- and so a car full of hashers drove up to park while there was a full blown Israel-style screaming match already in progress. Exciting! The pack burst into a quiet bar on a Saturday afternoon, shot some pool, harassed the locals and ran to two other places. Swing Low was sung in front of the door to Molly Bloom's, Maria stuck to her wine order despite the entire bar screaming words of shame at her. In the 2nd half, a mutiny was lead by Dear Leader, Border Bitch, who helped the group decide that they didn't want to follow the blobs, but rather run directly back to the circle. Susan drank from her shoe and Boston and Fatty Tatty bought all our drunk as$es snacks for the down downs. Some hashers went out afterwards- they all woke up to regret that decision on Sunday.

Down Downs!

Hares: Wet Pussy & Dyke.Cum
FRB: Boston Creamed!
DFL: Foreplay

Returnees: Jessica, Porn Queen, Boston Creamed, Susan, Pig Woman

Shady Shandy: Dyke.cum

Registering on the Richter Scale: Border Bitch

You call it short cutting, I call it leadership: Border Bitch, Porn Queen

I'll have a dry white wine, please: Maria

Marathon (wo)Man: Pig Woman

No Hash Kit: Paul, AmboHo, Ali, Susan

New Shoes: Susan (who then apparently lost her sock)

Running with the wind in her hair and a cigarette in her mouth: Fatty Tatty

Directions to Run 806!

Hare: Fatty Tatty

Where: Mosque parking lot next to the David Intercon hotel. You know, where we just met. Across from the Dolphinarium...

Lost? Call Fatty Tatty 057 420 6720

Hare Roster! ***New roster being crafted! Speak now or set on the date you're assigned!!***

19-Sep Quickie

26-Sep Long Horny

3-Oct Desperate Housewife

10-Oct Goldmember

17-Oct Fart Smeller

Registration now open for the Nike Night Run on October 24th!

Check out www.Shvoong.Co.Il to sign up and list your club as HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Thirsty Knights Scavenger Hunt

A message from the other, totally different hash...

 

There is no "I" in "TEAMWORK".
Unknown

What do a policeman, a hotel room and washing a car window have in common?  Join us this Thursday night for the TKHHH's Scavenger Hunt and find out.  Bring a friend and receive bonus points for your team. 

Date:  Thursday, Sept. 10th, 2009
Time:  8 PM SHARP (you should arrive by 7:50 PM)
Place:  Tel Aviv, parking lot next to the mosque near the David Intercontinental
Cost:  20 shekels
WHAT TO BRING:  CAMERA, FLASHLIGHT, SMALL BACKPACK

Directions: From Herzliya & North Tel Aviv, head south on Namir Road (Rt 2), turn right on Rokach Blvd.  Veer left at Tel Aviv Port on to Hayarkon St.  Follow street along beach front towards Jaffa.  At Dophinarium get to left and turn left at light (Nur Pines St) with mosque on left at corner, towards David Intercontinental Hotel.  Go to roundabout and coming back find parking at mosque or around Gan Hakovshim Park. (yes, these are the same directions from last Saturday's Hash - recycling - being green)

Lost call one of your Hares:  Deliverance 0543005092 or Twin Peaks 0528743662
--
Your Humble Scribe,
Lady Twin Peaks

Hash Trash Run 804, Directions to 805- PUB CRAWL RUN

(begin rant) Semen and Windbreaker apparently took lessons at the "Quickie School of Setting" (I pray to everything good in the world that enrollment at this school of torture is closed.) and sent the group all over the Stepford-esque town of Caesaria. The pack was promised a point-to-point hash of about 4.5km where the hares used FIVE bags of flour. FIVE BAGS OF FLOUR. This should have been the pack's first clue that something was about to go horribly, terribly wrong. The first half was nice and short, we had a little shiggy experience, scrambled up a hill and at about the 2km mark we met and mumbled the tune to the Hash House Family (the hares forgot the lyric sheets). Things were looking good for a 4.5 km hash, as promised. Hashers were confused and some of us were in disbelief. Well… that disbelief was well-founded. In the 2^nd half, there were two holds, Long Horny ran off into a ditch, we doubled back PAST where we had already run, on and on we schlepped, up a hill, down a hill, past ugly million-dollar homes. On and on we ran! Further! No stopping! ANOTHER 5.5 KILOMETERS WENT BY BEFORE WE GOT TO THE FINISH. Yes. 5+ kilometers. Two holds, a trail NEARLY DEVOID OF FLOUR. A whole pack of miserable and pissed off hashers. We had down-downs. We immediately got into our cars and left. Let me say, when you are awarded a 50 Run patch, the implication is that you have participated AND been conscious for at least 50 runs. I am voting for a demotion of rank after this week's shenanigans. As an aside, hashers, check your odometers when setting, because you know what? 4.5 MILES is the same as about 7.5 KILOMETERS. Double check: Metric? US Standard? Imperial pint? Pint? THEY'RE DIFFERENT MEASURES. (end rant)

Down Downs!

Hares: Semen & Windbreaker 
FRB: Fatty Tatty & Juliana
DFL: Twin Peaks & Amboho
Tinkle Tinkle Little Star: Long Horny

Returnees: Amboho, R2D2, C3PO, Tal

Lost… in… Spaaaaaaaaaaaace: Long Horny

Kickin' the Dog: Caveman

No Hash Kit: Windbreaker, AmboHo

Just call on me brother, when you need a hand: Caveman

Racing: Semen

 

Directions to Run 805!

 

THIS WEEKS HASH WILL BE A PUB CRAWL SO BRING ALONG SOME EXTRA SHEKLES FOR BEERS ALONG THE WAY.

When: Saturday 5th September at 4 pm
Where: Gan Hakovshim Park, South Tel Aviv
Directions: From Herzliya & North Tel Aviv, head south on Namir Road (Rt 2), turn right on Rokach Blvd.  Veer left at Tel Aviv Port on to Hayarkon St.  Follow street along beach front towards Jaffa.  At Dophinarium get to left and turn left at light (Nur Pines St) with mosque on left at corner, towards David Intercontinental Hotel.  Go to roundabout and coming back find parking at mosque or around Gan Hakovshim Park.

Lost? Call Wet Pussy - 054 907 2835

 

Hare Roster! ***New roster being crafted! Speak now or set on the date you're assigned!!***

12-Sep Fatty Tatty

19-Sep Quickie

26-Sep Long Horny

3-Oct Desperate Housewife

10-Oct Goldmember

17-Oct Fart Smeller

 

Registration now open for the Nike Night Run on October 24th! 

Check out www.Shvoong.Co.Il to sign up and list your club as HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com

www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com