Hash Trash Run #1004, Directions to Runs #1005

Hello fellow Hashers!

A special massage from Captain Caveman:
The Jordan River National Park allows a maximum of 500 campers per day.

Seeing as the HHHH came out in tremendous numbers for the Hash weekend (501 registered Hashers/campers) it has been decided to cancel the proposed weekend.

Hare's view of the 1004th Hash:

Hash #1004 was Hot. No really, it was hot. It was hot in the morning, while setting it, it was hot in the afternoon while running it, hell, I bet it was also hot in the evening. That's how we roll here in the Holyland...

That said, it was also perfectly set for these conditions. It was not too long, says the hare. It had shade all the way, says the hare And it had cool water fountains all along the sides of the roads, says the hare. That's exactly where we started getting suspicious. So after consulting some of the Hashers a different picture emerged. No shade, No fountains and on top of it all, no walkers at the half way...

All in all, well, as usual, it was a fairly shitty trail.

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1004:

Hare: Spit or Swallow

FRB: Captain Caveman & Fluffer

DFL: Young Ass Hopper

Phone Sex: Captain Caveman, Second Hand Job, Shooting Blanks

Misdemeanors: Shooting Blanks, Double Entry

Lost in Tel-Aviv: Semen, Second Hand Job, Head Down

Grandson Abuse (Again!): Captain Caveman

Lack of Car Control: Semen

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1005:

Meeting time: Saturday June 29th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: At the end of Derech HaPark in Raanana (here).

On-After: None that I'm aware of.

Maps: From Tel Aviv; From anything east of TA or north of TA

Directions: (In the words of CC)

Go to Yerushalaim St to the park and go down the hill heading west (the park will be on your right hand side).

At the end there is a Delek gas station.

Park.

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...

Call Captain Caveman @ 052-2445644

Other massages

• Very Very Important!!! A New BeerMeister is needed! Come on, take the beer off of Caveman's hands.
  
  
• REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

• My beer is over, so I have to go.

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

July 6 - #1006 - Second Hand Job

--

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com

Hash Trash Run #1003, Directions to Runs #1004

Hello fellow Hashers!

* Note - Many many announcements await you at the bottom, please read carefully. 

Hare's view of the 1003rd Hash:

Hash #1003 was a glorious late-spring affair drawing 21 hashers (well, 20.5 hashers), three dogs (well, 2.5 dogs), and one luxury stroller. The pack circled under clear skies and a cool breeze and then ran through the park of the Monastery of the Cross up to the University for a beer stop and a round of "More Beer." It then ran across campus and down the other side. Some of the walkers took so long that it was surmised they had stopped to pick up PhD's. Before the circle could be gathered an unnamed hasher had to be escorted away to take a dump (thus missing the singing of "Shitty Trail"). He/she/it returned an hour later, disheveled and disoriented, claiming to have been lost. Singing was heard from the nearby nunnery.

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1003:

Hares: Gadhafi, Hot Box

FRB: Fuckhead

DFL: Just Jose

Misdemeanors: Goldmember, Fuckhead, J. Jose, J. Scott, Hot Box

Returnees: Just Jose, Just Scott

Visitors: Just Jessica (from NYC)

Virgins: Just Keith, Just Lea

Pointer Sisters: Shooting Blanks, Just Jose

Bablat: Shooting Blanks

Child Abuse: Crocksucker

Pisher: Fuckhead, Just Lea

Hash on the Hash: Puppy Love Machine, Just Keith

Grandson Abuse: Capt. Caveman

Beer Abuse: Gadhafi

Car Abuse: Second Hand Job, Gadhafi

Demanding-a-Down-Down-even-though-she-did-not-commit-an-infraction: Double Entry

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1004:

Meeting time: Saturday June 22nd., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: The run will start at the Mega-Ba'ir parking lot on 6 Oded Street, Tel-Aviv.

On-After: Nope, not this time.

Maps: From Ayalon Here

Directions:

Cumming from Ayalon - get off at Hashalom Interchange and go on Hashalom (eastbound), take a RIGHT onto Oded st. and the parking lot is on your right. Cumming from Route 4 - get off at Aluf-Sade Interchange and go on Aluf-Sade (westbound), take a LEFT onto Oded st. and the parking lot is on your right.

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...

Call Spit or Swallow @ 054-6717787

Other messages

• Cum all to the virgin lay of the Looney Moon Hash House Harriers in Jerusalem! We've got beer and live trails - all you need is half a mind to join us.
  
  Our trails get laid monthly under full moons, on a different day each month. Email croleva@gmail.com to get on our updates list and send addresses of others you think are interested.
  
  On-on to this week's trail -
  
  Hares: Puppy Love Machine and Pig Woman
  Theme: Looney Tunes - dress like a cartoon character - Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, etc.
  When: Sunday, June 23rd - hares start drinking at 7:30pm, away at 7:45, hounds on-on at 8:00.
  Location: Parking lot behind Old Train Station, easily accessed from behind Colony at Derech Beit Lehem 7 (map here, erections from Tel Aviv here)
  Bring: In order of importance: 1) 5 shekel and a 6-pack of beer (or something else you'll drink on trail). 2) A flashlight (beer first, safety second). 3) A whistle for alerting hounds to true trail. 4) A towel and change of clothes (for a shiggy trail).
  
  Maps for walkers will be available.
  There will be a collection for t-shirt pre-orders.
  
  
  Got questions? Bug Puppy Love. Reply to his email (noted above) or call 052-344-7338.
  
  On-on,
  Puppy Love Machine
  
  
• Another reminder - Next H4 Hash will take place up north and will include camping! It will take place at the Jordan National Park, and the hare - Captain Caveman is planning to camp there. Apparently it's a great place with toilets and plenty of space. Children and dog (what's the difference) friendly.
  Bring tents, food, alcohol, music, party games and all the rest, also bathing suits cause the river runs right through the park. 
  Reply to Hash Trash or to Caveman if you're interested in spending a night of debauchery and misbehavior on June 28th.
  
  
• Very Very Important!!! A New BeerMeister is needed! Come on, take the beer off of Caveman's hands.

• REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

• My beer is over, so I have to go.

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

June 29 - #1005 - Captain Caveman

-- 

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com

(Extremely) Important Announcement re. run #1005 June 29th!

The Hash run 2 weeks from now June 29 will be held at the Jordan National Park http://www.israeltripplanner.com/galilee-lake/nature-parks/jordan-park

The hare (Capt. Caveman) will be camping out Friday night.

Great place with toilets and plenty of space. Children and dog (what's the difference) friendly.

Bring tents, food, alcohol, music, party games  and all the rest, also bathing suits cause the river runs right through the park.

 

Reply to Hash Trash or to Caveman if you're interested in spending a night of debauchery and misbehavior on June 28th.

--

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com

Hash Trash Run #1002, Directions to Runs #1003

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 1002nd Hash:

The trail was extra shitty this week, winding its way through the shit-filled streets and parks of Tel Aviv, and over some shit-covered walls, too. The hare was still pissed about poor markings on Run #999 and gave the hashers a collective punishment with a long an awfully marked trek under an unrelenting sun.
There was water in the middle, and beer at the the end, so it ended slightly less shitty, but still pretty shitty.

 

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1002:

Hare: Fuckhead

FRB: Fluffer

DFL: Boston Creamed

Misnaming: Double Entry, Just Carla, Goldmember, Deliverance

Returnee: Bullshit
No Hashkit: Fuckhead
Tech on Trail: Fluffer
Misnaming: LCF (?), Fuckhead
Late Cumming: Shooting Blanks, Goldmember, Pigwomen
(unintelligible): Fuckhead

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1003:

Meeting time: Saturday June 15th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: The small parking lot on the street leading to the Monastery of the Cross. Oh, yes, in Jerusalem.

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! (for all you who don't read Hebrew, just copy and paste it into translate.google.com) Somewhere in the vicinity of the starting point.

Maps: From Caveman's Erection at the entrance of Jerusalem Here

Directions:

	1. Head east on Sderot Shazar/שדרות שז"ר‎ toward Sderot HaNassi Hashishi/שדרות הנשיא השישי‎
		400 m
	2. Continue onto Sderot Ben Tsvi/שדרות בן צבי‎
		1.2 km
	3. Continue onto Sderot Hayim Hazaz/שדרות חיים הזז‎
		700 m
	4. Turn right onto HaRav Herzog/הרב הרצוג‎
		450 m
	5. Turn right onto Zalman Shneur/זלמן שניאור‎
		170 m
	6. Turn right onto Yehoshua Yevin/יהושע ייבין‎ Destination will be on the left
		500 m

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...

Call Gadhafi @ 054-6977748

Other messages

• Very Very Important!!! A New BeerMeister is needed! Come on, take the beer off of Caveman's hands.
• REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!
• My beer is over, so I have to go.

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

June 22 - #1004 - Spit or Swallow

--

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com

Hash Trash Run #1001, Directions to Runs #1002

Hello fellow Hashers!

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise, Hash Trash came early this week!

Hare's view of the 1001st Hash:

We circled up in Hertzliya on a super hot day. Many bright orange shirts were present. 

The trail went towards the Marina and the promenade. Swing Low was sung at the half way point and all was well with the world. The second half of the run was not as nice though. A shiggy trail had been thoughtfully prepared by the Hare but she soon lost the trail and some Hashers too.  Stickers and burs were everywhere and frustrated Hashers began to menace the Hare. 

Finally we righted ourselves and continued on towards the circle.

 

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1001:

Hare: Deliverance

FRB: Spit or Swallow

DFL: Twin Peaks

Reliever and Soup Eater: Young Asshopper

Misnaming: Double Entry, Just Carla, Goldmember, Deliverance

Quintuplets: Twin Peaks, Deliverance, Pig Woman, Caveman, Young Asshopper

Vrigin: Just Tamara

Lack of Car Control: Second Hand Job

Shortcutters: Caveman, Spit or Swallow, Pig Woman

Defective Detective: ig Woman

Hatless Wonder: Shooting Blanks

Crappy Cup Gift: Caveman

...and now for this week's run: 

Directions to Run 1002:

Meeting time: Saturday June 8th., 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.

Location: Park on Yehuda HaLevi and Amram Gaon (here) (there is a parking lot near by, but plenty of street parking is forecasted).

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! (for all you who don't read Hebrew, just copy and paste it into translate.google.com) at Gastropub 58 - Yehuda HaLevi 58 (That's a 4 minute walking distance from the starting point, I know, it's a lot, bitch to the Hare).

Maps: From HaShalom interchange on Ayalon (road #20) Here

Directions: See Map Above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...

Call Fuck Head @ 054-2378356

Other messages

• Very Very Important!!! A New BeerMeister is needed! Come on, take the beer off of Caveman's hands.
• REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Temporary Partial Hare roster - are you there?!

June 15 - #1003 - Gadhaffi

June 22 - #1004 - Spit or Swallow

--

On-on!

Hash Scribe

www.israelhhh.com