26 May, 2011

Hash Trash Run 895, Directions to Run 896

Hello fellow Hashers!
For this week, our hare decided to take us on a tour of the nature-wilderness of central Israel. We met in an obscure forest somewhere, and to greet us on our way in was a sign, declaring that the place is home to an alcohol-addiction rehabilitation center... Way to go, Caveman, for making sure people stay on the wagon.

So what did this summary shiggy trail had to offer, you ask? Plenty of spiky plants, deadly animals and horny individuals.

To get the Hash going on the right foot, Caveman gave us a glimpse at the end of it - we found the "on-in" after about 5 minutes of running. But hey - we're not quitters! We got back on the trail (okay okay, Caveman practically dragged us there 'cos we were plenty ready to head back). As if that wasn't enough, Twin Peaks had a self-induced near-death experience, when an imaginary snake appeared from the bushes and tried to eat her whole! No joke. Those imaginary snakes are nasty!

On-on we went, into the first (of many) insanely annoying thorn-field. The path was long gone, evident from Caveman's sheepish gaze. The only thing guiding Hashers out of this mess was the sound of other humans on the other side of it. But alas - those were found to be a couple trying to accomplish the horizontal (or rather, diagonal) monkey-dance inside their car. Shame on the Hash for interrupting a moment of such pure intimacy and tenderness. At the other side of the thorny field and horny couple, we regrouped and arrived at the halfway. Boston Creamed was busy removing excess sand from her shoes, and Double Entry's simply looked like this: http://bit.ly/iUf5VD . The rest of us went on to sing "Father Abraham" - with the exception of Crock Sucker, who opted for a "Joe Button" solo.

At the second half, runners were getting pretty f*&n' tired with all the sand and leaves and dry needles poking at them left and right. So, we were all the more motivated to get to the beer, and boy, was it nice and cold. The Ass-RA was apparently so pleased with the run, that he fudged Hash-rules a bit to allow Hashers to pee without being called out as Relievers. Funny, though, the amendment only applied to him... Hash Justice Dept. is reviewing the case as we speak.

In the end, after endless down-downs, a few spilled beers - some by self-inflicting Hashers and some by Hahsres at other Hashers (seen Crock Sucker's demonstration of "...with the left!" yet?), the gang got their pre-stacked meaty goodness from the chariots and fired up the Barbie. Hot-dogs and Kebabs were poured like wine (wait, that didn't come out right), and the well-fed Hashers finally went home.




Down-Downs Run 895:
Hare: Capt. Caveman
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: Boston Creamed
Returnees: Fluffer, Just Anya, Boston Creamed
SCB: Fluffer
Misnaming: Crock Sucker, AmboHo
Sand Dunes: Boston Creamed
Thorns: Double Entry, Stiff Meat
Joe Button-ing: Crock Sucker
Bad Samaritan: Capt. Caveman
Late Cumming: Goldmember
Running & Screaming Like a Little Girl: Twin Peaks
No Hash Gear: Just Anya
YES Hash Gear: Black Magic


...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 896:
Meeting time: Saturday May 28th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: At the entrance to Cafe Masada opposite the Lusky Suites which is at 84 Hayarkon Street, Tel Aviv.
We'll be having a visiting-hare - Viking! Everyone on their best behavior, Capisce?
No directions this time, just counting on your wiz-like Google Map abilities.



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:



Hare roster - are you there?!
#897 Jun 4 - Goldmember
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Floater
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat NEEDS A REPLACEMENT
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



posted by Hash Scribe at 11:52 PM

19 May, 2011

Hash Trash Run 894, Directions to Run 895

Hello fellow Hashers!

Your Scribe, for one, is quite glad that summer hasn't arrived yet. When I think of runs yet to come, where everyone will glisten as if they were greased with butter and you wouldn't have to pour beer in shoes, cos they'll be dripping sweat instead - I think it's a good thing we're not there yet. But for some, the fact that rain does decide to fall in May is a bummer. Who are those people? Hares who say to themselves "no f#%in' way it'll rain - I'm setting the trail on Friday!" - and then have to set it ALL OVER AGAIN.

Such were the complaints coming from Twin Peaks this week, while stressing that she actually managed to set the new trail on the same exact path. Well, that made Hashers even more confused - since Twin Peaks' idea of a nice Hash is to take Hashers through a roller-coaster ride-like trail. This scribe will roughy estimate more than 2k in elevation changes throughout the Hash.

Hashers huffed and puffed up and down steep streets, trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel. All they really found was a big pile o' s%#t - and I don't mean that figuratively. Our beloved Hare chose (apparently twice) to place the man-made flour-circle inside an even bigger, more impressive canine-made poop-circle. The scent was almost more than we could handle, but we vented through song - "More Beer" became "More Shit".

The stench must have been too much for Crock Sucker, and she joined the walking team. The rest shlepped along for the final cherry: a horrendous uphill to truly deflate whatever was left in anyone's lungs. But wait - there was a prize for the strong-willed, when Stiff Meat pulled out his Brit-brewed box of spicy cheese. Hurray!

After a few accusations and some warm beer, the Hashers went home.




Down-Downs Run 894:
Hare: Twin Peaks
FRB: Deliverance
DFL: AmboHo
Returnees: Stiff Meat, Crock Sucker, Fart Smella
Walking Tall: Just Caitlin
Setting x 3: Twin Peaks
Gillette Cover-Girl: Double Entry
Free Food: Goldmember
Misnaming: Twin Peaks
Mercy Killing: Spit or Swallow
Cripple Crossing: Crock Sucker
Fatty Acids: Capt. Caveman
Bi-Polar: AmboHo
Cheesy Guy: Stiff Meat



...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 895:
Meeting time: Saturday May 21st, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Hash starts at the Ilanot forest.
Directions: From Tel-Aviv:
  1. Take route 4 North.
  2. Pass Ra'anana.
  3. Pass the jail (on your left).
  4. Pass the Bnei Dror traffic lights.
  5. Pass the Hadassim traffic lights.
  6. Get in the left lane, and 300 meters after these lights there is a LEFT turn into the forest (sic).
  7. Look for the Hare.
Bring meats, salads, grill, chairs, ect, for an On-after.
Lost? Call Captain Caveman 052-2445644



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:
Stiff Meat has had a change of schedule, and will not be able to set the July 2nd Run (#901). Any Hashers willing to swap - contact Hash Trash ASAP.



Hare roster - are you there?!
#896 May 28 - Boston Creamed
#897 Jun 4 - Goldmember
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Floater
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat NEEDS A REPLACEMENT
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



posted by Hash Scribe at 5:19 PM

12 May, 2011

Hash Trash Run 893, Directions to Run 894

Hello, Spirit-Fingered Sunflowers!

Hashers met in Herut on a sunny afternoon. STD finally introduced her pet leopleurodon to the Hash (which turned out to be faster than the rest of us), and Caveman led the pack and we started running through the streets and shiggy. 

Some hashers kept complaining that some of Deliverance's buff bodyguards are distracting, so to please the crowds, she gave the word and they took off with their jet-packs.

After some time, we arrived at the circle to be greeted by a pleasant surprise: Fred and Wilma Flintstone decided to join us for the hals-way. They were, however, disappointed because the hares (Justin & Andy) chose that we sing Dick In a Box: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Following the half-way, the race for FRB was clearly on again but ended abruptly with Itch My Rail taking a dive into the Pool of Eternal Despair. Some hashers, in a desperate attempt, abseiled into the bottomless abyss, with no luck - they were no match for the Gnarl of Death . They will be deeply missed.

Galloping away on our unicorns, we finally arrived at the Wisdom-Willow and begged the Oracle for directions. We kept going, not sure we will ever find our way out of Narnia, when suddenly Twin Peaks revealed her greatest gift: she tapped her heels three times, and we were all back at the circle.

Ouzo was poured, and the hashers stepped through the time-portal to go home. 

BTW - not to fret, the Banana-King was defeated.




Down-Downs Run 893:
Hares: Spit or Swallow, Betty Cocker
FRB: Usain Bolt
DFL: Itch My Rail
Virgins: Mary, Just Justin Bieber
Golden Shower: Oonami
Visiting Hasher: Diablo
Reliever: Bottom Cough
Puberty: Simba
Taming the Green Cyclops: Stiff Meat
Wedding Proposal: Fairy Godmother
Blast from the Past: Jekyll
25 Runs: Capt. Caveman
No Hash Gear: Daffy Duck
Clearly Out of Ideas: Fart Smella



...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 894:
Meeting time: Saturday May 14th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: HaParsa 8, Ramat-Gan.
Directions:
  1. Get off at HaHalacha exit, going East, onto Bialik street.
  2. Go straight through 3 traffic lights -- at the 4th traffic light turn LEFT onto Jabotinsky.
  3. Go straight through 1 traffic light and before you reach the 2nd traffic light turn RIGHT onto Zohar Street (a little side street). Go till the end.
  4. Turn LEFT onto Herzl then a QUICK RIGHT onto Moshe Sharet street.
  5. Up the hill and turn RIGHT onto HaParsa street.
I know I'm spoiling you guys rotten, but what the heck, here's a Google Map.
Lost? Call Twin Peaks 052 874 3662



Ride requests - help out visiting hashes:



Other messages:



Hare roster - are you there?!
#895 May 21 - Capt. Caveman
#896 May 28 - Boston Creamed
#897 Jun 4 - Goldmember
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Floater
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



posted by Hash Scribe at 10:38 PM

06 May, 2011

Hash Trash Run 892, Directions to Run 893


Directions to Run 893:
Meeting time: Saturday May 7th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: This week's hash will take place in Herut, that's a moshav north of Kfar-Saba. (NOT to be confused with Beit-Herut - which is next to Kfar-Vitkin)
Directions:
For those of you coming from the South, take Route #4 and follow this map.
Those who choose to come from the North, the best thing is to go a bit further South and make a U-Turn at Hadarim interchange as shown here.
Whichever direction you choose, parking is on the street (Fikus Street) and we'll gather in our back yard.
There will be an "On-After/Hash-House-Warming" at the end, so bring your favorite snacks, salads or cakes. No BBQ though, sorry.
Lost? In desperate need of help? Signal SOS or MAYDAY or something, the coast guard might help you... (or call 054-6717787, we might answer)



Ride requests:



Other messages:
Since the scribe has stopped receiving Ride requests, I thought I'd make it clear again:
If anyone knows that they're going to need a ride to the Hash, let me know ASAP (usually before Thursday each week), so I can post your request and details on the upcoming Hash Trash.



Hare roster - are you there?!
#894 May 14 - Twin Peaks
#895 May 21 - Capt. Caveman
#896 May 28 - Boston Creamed
#897 Jun 4 - Goldmember
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Floater
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber



posted by Hash Scribe at 10:48 PM