26 May, 2011

Hash Trash Run 895, Directions to Run 896

Hello fellow Hashers!
For this week, our hare decided to take us on a tour of the nature-wilderness of central Israel. We met in an obscure forest somewhere, and to greet us on our way in was a sign, declaring that the place is home to an alcohol-addiction rehabilitation center... Way to go, Caveman, for making sure people stay on the wagon.

So what did this summary shiggy trail had to offer, you ask? Plenty of spiky plants, deadly animals and horny individuals.

To get the Hash going on the right foot, Caveman gave us a glimpse at the end of it - we found the "on-in" after about 5 minutes of running. But hey - we're not quitters! We got back on the trail (okay okay, Caveman practically dragged us there 'cos we were plenty ready to head back). As if that wasn't enough, Twin Peaks had a self-induced near-death experience, when an imaginary snake appeared from the bushes and tried to eat her whole! No joke. Those imaginary snakes are nasty!

On-on we went, into the first (of many) insanely annoying thorn-field. The path was long gone, evident from Caveman's sheepish gaze. The only thing guiding Hashers out of this mess was the sound of other humans on the other side of it. But alas - those were found to be a couple trying to accomplish the horizontal (or rather, diagonal) monkey-dance inside their car. Shame on the Hash for interrupting a moment of such pure intimacy and tenderness. At the other side of the thorny field and horny couple, we regrouped and arrived at the halfway. Boston Creamed was busy removing excess sand from her shoes, and Double Entry's simply looked like this: http://bit.ly/iUf5VD . The rest of us went on to sing "Father Abraham" - with the exception of Crock Sucker, who opted for a "Joe Button" solo.

At the second half, runners were getting pretty f*&n' tired with all the sand and leaves and dry needles poking at them left and right. So, we were all the more motivated to get to the beer, and boy, was it nice and cold. The Ass-RA was apparently so pleased with the run, that he fudged Hash-rules a bit to allow Hashers to pee without being called out as Relievers. Funny, though, the amendment only applied to him... Hash Justice Dept. is reviewing the case as we speak.

In the end, after endless down-downs, a few spilled beers - some by self-inflicting Hashers and some by Hahsres at other Hashers (seen Crock Sucker's demonstration of "...with the left!" yet?), the gang got their pre-stacked meaty goodness from the chariots and fired up the Barbie. Hot-dogs and Kebabs were poured like wine (wait, that didn't come out right), and the well-fed Hashers finally went home.

Down-Downs Run 895:
Hare: Capt. Caveman
FRB: Fluffer
DFL: Boston Creamed
Returnees: Fluffer, Just Anya, Boston Creamed
SCB: Fluffer
Misnaming: Crock Sucker, AmboHo
Sand Dunes: Boston Creamed
Thorns: Double Entry, Stiff Meat
Joe Button-ing: Crock Sucker
Bad Samaritan: Capt. Caveman
Late Cumming: Goldmember
Running & Screaming Like a Little Girl: Twin Peaks
No Hash Gear: Just Anya
YES Hash Gear: Black Magic

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 896:
Meeting time: Saturday May 28th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: At the entrance to Cafe Masada opposite the Lusky Suites which is at 84 Hayarkon Street, Tel Aviv.
We'll be having a visiting-hare - Viking! Everyone on their best behavior, Capisce?
No directions this time, just counting on your wiz-like Google Map abilities.

Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:

Other messages:

Hare roster - are you there?!
#897 Jun 4 - Goldmember
#898 Jun 11 - Betty Cocker
#899 Jun 18 - Floater
#900 Jun 25 - Fluffer
#901 Jul 2 - Stiff Meat NEEDS A REPLACEMENT
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - AmboHo
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber

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