27 August, 2009

Hash Trash Run 803, Directions for 804!

Holy moley it was hot. The pack gathered round the circle at 4:17 (tsk tsk, latecummers) and off they ran, through shiggy hill and dale and sand and scratchy grass and mosquito and fly filled fields. Well, everything put the hill part is true. We thought we were going up that gigantic hill in the middle of the field, but as fate would have it- the path did NOT go in that direction, only scarily CLOSE to the precipice. The hare set the trail all by his lonesome, was very generous with the flour and didn't skimp on the length (of the run). 35 minutes into the run the pack FINALLY hit the halfway, where John Buttons was grunted and some runners defected to the walking group. Hashers straggled around the park so close to the circle, yet so far, and the hare kindly just told everyone to go on in.

 

Down Downs!

Hare: Fart Smella 
FRB: Rowtard
DFL: Quickie, Pete
Virgins: Murky Hole, Ricarda
Short Cutting Bastahds! Long Horny, Desperate Housewife, Dyke.cum, Deliverance
Returnees: Pete, Twin "Put the goddamn baby down!" Peaks, Fart Smella, Fatty Tatty, Ryia, Pete

Wandering off: Pete

No Hash Kit: Ryia and Rowtard

Eating bonbons on holiday: Twin Peaks


Directions to Run 804!
Hares: Seamen and Wind Breaker.
Take 2 North (toward Haifa), exit at Caesarea Interchange. Take the 1st left exit and turn R at the light. Pass the Gas station and continue to bear R till T intersection. (there should be a big anchor there). Turn R - that is Rothchild road but I doubt there is a sign. Continue on that rd till 1st round-a bout and go straight thus. Turn L on Kvish Ha Te'atron (Theater Rd). Pass the Cemetary on R, and turn Left into the Antiquity Museum parking lots. There are three lots, we will be in the Clalit health Services lot. (I hope...)

Lost? So are we, call 054-440-6313

HARE ROSTER!!!
***The time is upon us to set a new hare roster- if you have dates you desperately want to set, please email the scribe***
 
5-Sep Wet Pussy
12-Sep Fatty Tatty
19-Sep Quickie
26-Sep Long Horny
3-Oct Desperate Housewife
10-Oct Goldmember
17-Oct Fart Smeller
 
Registration now open for the Nike Night Run on October 24th! Check out www.Shvoong.Co.Il to sign up
 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 7:20 PM

20 August, 2009

Hash Trash Run 802, Directions for 803!

The scribe has no idea what happened, because she was on vacation (suckers!!). A run occured on Saturday. She heard that the hare was sober, but hid the blobs where they couldn't be found. There was beer! People went home.

 

Down Downs!

Hares: Captain Caveman, Maria
FRB: Wet Pussy
DFL: Woodcock
Virgins: Stocks and Bondage
No hash shirts: Julianna, Woodcock
Returnees: Foreplay, Julianna, Cassie
Hold the Wire!: Ramablambingdong, who apparently is trying to start some sort of record for chatting on the phone. Maybe he's worried there'll be no beer left for him!?
New hash shoes and bon voyage: AIDS

 
DIRECTIONS TO RUN 803:
 
Hare: Fart Smella,  054-488-8165 
When/Where: Saturday, 4pm.
Location: 4 Seasons park, Hod HaSharon (click for Google Map to be assumed location)
 
From north:
Go down route 4. and turn left at Ra'anana junction. Keep straight, you will enter Hod HaSharon. Turn right at Jabotinski st. (the shopping-mall will be visible to your right). Drive straight until you see the park to your right, drive past it and turn right. The parking lot is to your right.

From south:
Get to Morasha interchange (TA - via route 5, further south - via route 4), and continue east on route 5. Turn left at Yarkon interchange (need to take the right lane and turn under the overpass). Turn left at Jabotinski st. (the shopping-mall will be visible to your left). Drive straight until you see the park to your right, drive past it and turn right. The parking lot is to your right.

 
HARE ROSTER!!!
29-Aug Semen
5-Sep Wet Pussy
12-Sep Fatty Tatty
19-Sep Quickie
26-Sep Long Horny
3-Oct Desperate Housewife
10-Oct Goldmember
17-Oct Fart Smeller
 
On-on!
Hash Scribe
 

posted by Hash Scribe at 5:04 PM

12 August, 2009

Hash Trash Run 801, DiERECTIONs for 802

The pack met at their favorite corner in Kohav Hatsafon bedecked in togas and laurels (aka, bedsheets and plants). The circle was recycled from a few runs ago and the pack learned a new word in English: Equidistant. As in, the first and second halves were equidistant from the start. Hooray! Vocabulary! Anyway, on we ran in our togas, some carrying horns, others with sabers. There were photos taken by people in cars, a cyclist nearly fell of his bike gawking and other sundry calamaties. Dyke.Cum had numerous outfit changes- her toga changed into a dress, a long scarf and a sexy criss cross top. She didn't think to use a stapler or safety pins to keep it on. BlingDong took a phone call and told his son how to bake a cake, Semen decided to chat with her personal trainer while on the run. The beer meister brough enough grog for 50 hashers, which was good, because despite our numbers, we were damn thirsty. At the equidistant halfway, the group sang a new song and enjoyed some ouzo, courtesy of Tal. A dad and his toddler watched the group warily, but weren't so freaked out that they left the park. We'll try harder next time. Desperate Housewife crawled across the finish and sprawled into the flour... We also named Bernadette, that woman who gave birth to Border Bitch... welcome to Rowtard.  Shhh! rumor has it, after the on on, one hasher drunkenly crashed their bike. Only the bruising will give them away.
 
DOWNDOWNS!
Hares: Border Bitch, Rowtard
FRB: Desperate Housewife
DFL: Dyke.Cum
And I'm Free! Free Ballin': Captain Caveman 
No Thank You, No Ouzo: Maria 
Returnees: Squidgy, Rowtard
Brrrring Brrring: AGAIN! RamalamablingDong (RamalamaRingDong?), Semen
Wardrobe Malfunction: Dyke.Cum
New JEWels: Border Bitch & Desperate Housewife
300 Runs: Goldmember
 
Directions for Run 802 - Please help Caveman set! (remember the last time he set at Migdal Tsedek?!)
When Where? Saturday, 4pm Ra'anana
How??? From Herzeliya take the Kfar Shmariyahu road EAST to the end which is Yerushayim St. and turn LEFT.
First lights (at the park) turn LEFT. Drive a bit until the gas station, that's where we meet,
 
Note: Seeing as this is Penis Pan's Hash and he ran off, and I out of the goodness of my good samaritan heart offered to set the run not realizing that I spoiled unknown to me plans made by my better half so who will help me set the run Friday morning at 7:00? Otherwise there may not be a walkers trail.
Captain Caveman 052-2445644
 
HARE ROSTER:
22-Aug Croc Sucker/Fart Smeller
29-Aug Semen
5-Sep Wet Pussy
12-Sep Fatty Tatty
19-Sep Quickie
26-Sep Long Horny
3-Oct Desperate Housewife
10-Oct Goldmember
17-Oct Fart Smeller
 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 11:20 AM

05 August, 2009

Hash Trash 800- TOGA RUN 801 with ON ON after!

Hash Trash 800, DiERECTIONs 801!

The large pack assembled at Alexander River for run number 800.  The hashers were a spiffy looking bunch decked out in their new brightly coloured shirts.  The t-shirt clearance sale continued out of the back of AIDS' car- beware, she's really gotten addicted to this. Who knows what she'll sell next week... despite the tricky directions we all made it to the circle on time for once.

The pack ran through soft sand, fields full of prickles, more soft sand and more fields of prickles. Again, blood was drawn. Along the way we lost Desperate Housewife and Wet Pussy who shortcutted to join the walkers for the first half.  At a hold Goldmember hid behind a bush to take a wee, only to find Dyke dot cum capturing this private moment on film. Sexy!

The hashers were a thirsty group once back at the circle and mild irritation almost most turned to full blown riot when White Pointers failed to appear with the magic key to the beer.  After an eternity the beer arrived, was consumed, ran out and the pack grumbled some more. One beer per hasher is UNACCEPTABLE!  At the circle, In and Out was a sight for sore eyes.  The fashion backwards hasher made a statement when he tucked
the sides of his short shorts into his jocks and donned a tea-towel on his head.  The down down beers (tasting more like a cup of tea than beer) burned a few mouths on their way down and we learnt all about spotty dicks.  We bid a fond farewell to Penis Pan and headed off funeral procession style to Tals' parents place for a swim and a delicious BBQ feast.  Thanks to Tal and his family for agreeing to host the on-on, we are not expecting to be invited back.

DOWNDOWNS!

Hares: Deliverance, Free Willy
FRB: Long Horny
DFL: Woodcock
Golden Shower: Gold(en)member
SCB: Quickie, Desperate Housewife, Fartsmella, Wet Pussy, Porn Queen, AIDS, Fatty Tatty
Returnees: Woodcock, Susan
Virgins: Richard, Roia
I've forgotten my hash name: Goldmember
No hash kit: Alie, Alon
25 runs: RamalamablingDong
So long, farewell: Penis Pan
DiERECTIONs to TOGA RUN 801!
Hare: Border Bitch
Very Important Info: We are running in togas. No particular reason, but more because "801" rhymes with "Toga Run". So get yo'self a toga, laurels (and any other ridiculous paraphenalia) and get out there!
Directions: Coming from the south, exit the Ayalon at Rokach/University. Make a left at the exit. At the intersection of Namir and Rokach, take a right. At the next lights (Shay Agnon) make a left. First traffic lights (Levi Eshkol) make a left. Park.  Coming from the Hertzamyknee-uh/North, take Namir road into Ramat Aviv, pass under the pedestrian bridge after Einstein. Make a right on Shay Agnon. At the next light make a left. Park yo'car.
 
We are On-Oning afterwards, so bring meats, salads and other things to cater a party on the porch.
Lost? I hate you. There is a google map! 057 420-6844

posted by Hash Scribe at 4:10 PM

03 August, 2009

Get your greek on!

Consider this your warning...
 
801 TOGA RUN
 
This Saturday the Holyland Hash House Harriers will run in togas, tunics and laurels... so watch Gladiator, take some notes and get your outfit together.
 
The hares promise the run will be short so that everyone can enjoy a bacchanalian on-on party afterwards. 
 
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 8:40 AM