Hash Trash Run 789, DiErections on Run 790

We met in Ramat Hachayal. Some hashers were rather late (you know who you are) and others got antsy ('4 o'clock is 4 o'clock!!!'). Fart Smella gave us a description of various hash ratings and we decided that the HHHH was probably not PG rated. We checked it out.  Captain Caveman found the trail and blasted his horn.  Twin Peaks had another malfunction with her sense of direction and ran in the exact opposite direction from the source of noise. There weren't many runners but lots of holds and false trails so there were so no opportunities to be lazy. Fart Smella was offended by the previous week's lack of a half-way song (EDITORS NOTE: which is odd, SINCE HE WASN'T THERE!) so invented two half-ways this week to make up for lost singing. We continued running through the streets and then into the fields baking under the Israeli summer sun. Semen whinged like a broken record ('It's prom night people! Keep it moving!). We found the beer and circled up. Semen impatiently jingled her keys for maximum effect and fled the scene as soon as she was dismissed. (EDITORS NOTE TWO: Why the hell is a 50 year old woman concerned about the prom? <Insert cradle robbing joke here>)   Hares: Fart Smella, Crock Sucker FRB: Semen DFL: Rocket Returnees: Twin Peaks, Goldmember, Deliverance, Rocket No Hash Kit: Merav Late Cummer: Diablo 200 runs: Twin Peaks 25 Runs: Rocket Sensory Organs Malfunction: Twin Peaks Whining Bastards: Semen, Goldmember, Merav Junior Hash Horn: Squidgy Directions to Run 790 with "Optional" On On Afterward (seriously, is there a mandatory On On?!) From Tel Aviv or north: leave highway no. 2 at Kfar Shmaryahu exit, go east on Ha-Ma'apilim, turn left at 2nd traffic light onto Ha-Zorea, next right, next left onto Ha-Sadot, turn right onto Ha-Rakafot, next left, next right onto Regavim, on your right you will see the parking area. From Ra'anana and Kfar Saba: Take Menakhem Begin from Ra'anana towards Herzliya Pituach, turn right after railroad crossing onto Ha-Sadot, go 1 km, turn right onto Ha-Rakafot, next left, next right onto Regavim, on your right you will see the parking area. Timeline of Events, Courtesy of Quickie, Your Hare 16:00 Circle up for Hash Run No. 790 18:00 Swimming Pool/Barbecue          (please bring towels & meat & salads & beverages,          you may drop food at Ha-Rakafot no. 5 before run) 20:00 Reggae Night 21:30 Music from Down Under 22:00 Latin Night The Scribe's brain is so overloaded with possible jokes about merely having a timeline, coupled with the possibility of Quickie wearing one of those beret/dreadlock wigs and/or there being a didgeridoo orchestra, that she cannot formulate an appropriate response. HARE ROSTER: Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 788 Directions to Run 789

The pack met at a familiar corner in Tel Aviv. Despite Fatty Tatty's insistence, there was no available parking, because this is Tel Aviv and parking is as elusive as the unicorn. The beer meister was kind enough to drop off the beer before starting on a quest to find a parking spot- he arrived approximately 20 minutes late. The hares decided to practice modern-day feminism and instituted Prostate Checks where all of the men would have to check it out. The symbol for this? A poorly drawn flaccid member. For some reason (self-hating feminists, or perhaps trying to prove that women ARE tougher than men), they kept the titty checks. The downside? Only two women in the pack. The halfway was one for the ages- no song and cold beers at Cup of Joe. At that point, the scribe joined the walkers for an iced coffee and a short stroll down Diezengoff- she'll be heading back soon to buy some shoes she saw in a window. The world's shortest hash wrapped up quickly, beers were drunk, the pack went home.   Down Downs! Hares: Fatty Tatty & Just Shaila FRB: Desperate Housewife DFL: (not so) Quickie Virgin: Eliana Returnees: ForePlay, Meirav, Wind Breaker Hash Kit: Wind Breaker (& Semen for not ensuring the Hash Kit was washed) Prostate Check: Hashers with Prostates What time does the Hash start? RamalamablingDong, Just Shaila, Long Horny Name Amnesia: Wind Breaker Feeling Feminine: Long Horny Titty Checks: Dyke.Cum & Border Bitch     DIRECTIONS TO THE RUN!   Location: Ha-Arad Street, Ramat Ha-Chayal, Tel Aviv From Kfar Saba / Petach Tikva: Turn to Rd. #5 towards TA at Morasha interchange. Turn left (south) at Ha-Kfar Hayarok interchange. Turn left at Dvora Ha-Nevi'a (7th stoplight). Keep straight until you get to a roundabout, turn right and immediately left, to Ha-Arad. Parking lot to your left. From Herzelia / North TA: Go to KKL interchange, cross Ayalon towards the east. Continue straight til the major junction (Pinchas Rozen), and turn right. At the next major junction (6th stoplight) turn left to Raul Valengerg. Turn right at Ha-Arad. Parking lot to your left. From South TA (and beyond): Travel north on ayalon, get off at Rokach interchange and take a right (east). Take the right lane and turn right to Shitrit. Keep going straight with this street, the 5th stoplight will be Ha-Arad - turn right. Parking lot to your left. HASH ROSTER! Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 787, Directions Run 788

Some of us drove all over Rishon trying to find the start for 45 minutes... the circle was eventually found and the pack was assured that since 3 people had set the trail there would be LOTS OF FLOUR. You know what that meant? There was no flour. The pack wandered over hill and dale, they ran along a rickety elevated platform, next to a field that sounded like it was filled with kazoo players, Dyke.Cum took a whiz in a shrubbery while we ran over a bridge and they were cheered on by some youthful miscreants. At the end beer was drunk, delicious cheesey American crackers were consumed and marveled at incessantly and Eti and Gilli were named.   DOWN DOWNS HARES: RamalamablingDong, White Pointers, Squiddic/Squidgy FRB: Diablo DFL: Just Shaila Virgins: Nir, Rogier Returnees: Alon, Nir Nice Try On the Hash Gear: Just Shaila Wee Wee Wee All the Way Home: Dyke.Cum Short Cutting Bastard(s): LongHorny, Nir, Alon Feminists on the March/Not Showing Us Yer Tits: Semen, Crocsucker, Border Bitch Misplaced the Hash Table: Caveman   DIRECTIONS to RUN 788- WHERE: The corner of Ben Yehuda and Gordon (i.e., in front of Wet Pussy and Dyke.Cum's place - this implies no culpability on their part - it only implies parking [sort of]).    WHEN: Saturday, May 16th, 4pm.   Hare: Fatty Tatty, 057 420 6720   HASH WEEKEND Email Wet Pussy if you're interested in joining the campout.   HASH ROSTER! Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 FINAL QUIZ NIGHT OF THE SEASON!! The next quiz night will be on Friday, May 15th at Aaron and Margaret Ben-Shoshan's home in Herzliya Pituach.  Please arrive by 7:30 so that we can start on time.  Also, remember to bring snacks and drinks to share.  The address is 6 Sara Street.  Directions from Tel Aviv:  Take the Highway 2 to the Kfar Shmaryahu exit.  Make a left at the light into Herzilya Pituach and continue straight on Keren HaYessod Street.  Go straight through one rotary and at the second rotary make a right onto Wingate Street.  Make your second possible left onto Sara Street.   This will be the last Quiz Night until September. On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

Hash Trash Run 786, Di-ERECTION-s to Run 787

So some of you got a rogue email with the directions... should you care to read the Hash Trash, look no further! For Hare Roster and Quiz Night info scroll Down, Down, Down. Run 786 The scribe has no idea what happened on the run because she was too lazy to do it. She did have a lovely walk with Fatty Tatty on the way there and Fatty Tatty, Semen and Desperate Housewife on the return journey. She heard it was nearly devoid of holds (altho' there was some ridiculocity involving "if the women show us your tits the men will check it (the tits AND the trail) out." While shirts were lifted, apparently sports bras didn't count as flashing. Anyhoo, everyone made it back alive, only to climb 5 flights of steps to Dyke.Cum and Wet Pussy's flat for Down Downs. (Speaking of) DOWN DOWNS Hare: Dyke.Cum FRB: Caveman DFL: Goldmember On Speed: Penis Pan Think You've Got Tits? Desperate Housewife Pongo Special/No Hash Gear: Ramalamablingdong and Ragip Traitors to the Runners: Desperate Housewife and Semen No Flashing (cue "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child): CrockSucker, AmboHo, Deliverance, Fatty Tatty, Border Bitch, Twin Peaks, Goldmember, Semen, Dyke.Cum Best Blow Job: Caveman Run 787: When: Sat 9 May, 4 pm Where: Rishon Lezion. The meeting point is in Mota(Mordechai) Gur street in front of the College (Hamichlala Leminhal-Red Building) just after a big circle (Yzhak Rabin Circle), in the parking area. Directions: Coming from road number 4 (south) Tel-Aviv Ashdod: Take the right exit through Rishon le Zion West (sea) just before the bridge, turn right and drive straight through Moshe-Dayan road, At the 3'th traffic light turn left to Levi Eshkol St , pass two traffic lights and a circle. After the circle search for a parking spot. Coming From road number 20 Ayalon south: Exit to Rishon Le Zion east drive straight under the bridge to Yzhak Rabin road (when passing under the bridge take the left course). Drive straight pass one traffic light and turn right in the Yzhak  Rabin Circle. After the circle search for a parking spot. Lost? call RamalamablingDong 0524 238867 or Eti 0506444759 HASH ROSTER! Fatty Tatty                       5/16/09 Penis Pan                       5/23/09 Quikie                              5/30/09 Goldmember                  6/6/09 Ragip                              6/13/09 Shaila                              6/20/09 Etti                                   6/27/09 Amboho                           7/4/09 FINAL QUIZ NIGHT OF THE SEASON!! The next quiz night will be on Friday, May 15th at Aaron and Margaret Ben-Shoshan's home in Herzliya Pituach.  Please arrive by 7:30 so that we can start on time.  Also, remember to bring snacks and drinks to share.    The address is 6 Sara Street.  Directions from Tel Aviv:  Take the Highway 2 to the Kfar Shmaryahu exit.  Make a left at the light into Herzilya Pituach and continue straight on Keren HaYessod Street.  Go straight through one rotary and at the second rotary make a right onto Wingate Street.  Make your second possible left onto Sara Street.   This will be the last Quiz Night until September. On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com