HASH TRASH RUN 761 & DIRECTIONS TO 762

HASH TRASH RUN 761 & DIRECTIONS TO 762 Only the die-hard braved the weather and turned up.  The rest of you are pussies (not Wet, though... that's reserved). The heavens opened on the holyland.  But we ran.  We got wet. Then wetter. Desperate Housewife's mistook the hash for a skate-boarding comp. His luminous green shoes lit the way in the pouring rain. We sang The Hash Family at the half way, with hares leading in some raunchy moves. We did some hill training. We found the circle. We drank beer. There was a mysterious Techno atmosphere. Desperate Housewife attend the circle bare foot. It didn't help. Downs downs for Run 760 Hare: Fart Smella & Crock Sucker FRB: Russian Bride DFL: Hurricane, Dodger, Morgan SCB: Dragosh Virgins: Muriel Relievers: Border Bitch, Captain Caveman, Fatty Tatty 15 km runners: Twin Peaks, Border Bitch, Desperate Housewife, Captain Caveman Doing everything wrong: Twin Peaks Eagle Eye: Wet Pussy No Hash shirt: Twin Peaks, Desperate Housewife, Crock Sucker Lost in space: Wet Pussy, Dyke.Cum, Russian Bride Misnaming: Crock Sucker Directions to Run 761 Date: Sat, 29 November When: 3 pm Hare: Dyke.Cum & Wet Pussy (is there a theme here?) Where: Tel Aviv - car park next to Hadar Yosef stadium off Bechor-Shalom Sheetrit Directions: Rd #4 North: turn West (right) at Morasha, then South (left) at HaKfar HaYarok, take the left lane at the fork, turn right at Sheetrit st. (BIG intersection). Parking lot to your left. Rd #4 South: turn West (left) at Geha interchange, then Notrh (right) at Abu Hatzeira. pass Ayalon mall and turn left to Sheetrit. Parking lot to your left. Rd #2: turn East at Rokakh, cross Ayalon and turn right at Sheetrit. Parking lot to your right. Lost? Call your hare on 0549072835 HARE RAISER ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date.  Semen  12/6/08 Deliverance  12/13/08 Capt. Caveman  12/20/08 Desperate Housewife  12/27/08 Crocksucker  1/3/09 Fatty Tatty  1/10/09 Dave  1/17/09 Rami  1/24/09 In & Out  1/31/09 Linda  2/7/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH TRASH RUN 760 & DIRECTIONS TO 761

HASH TRASH RUN 760 & DIRECTIONS TO 761 Downs downs for Run 760 FRB: Clarke DFL: Boston Creamed, Pregnant Pause SCB: Border Bitch, Wet Pussy, Clarke, Rami Virgins: Morgan, Hurricane, Dodger, Quicky Returnees: For Fux Sake No hash shirt: Virginia Hell freezing over: Russian Bride Directions to Run 761 Date: Sat, 22 November When: 3 pm Hare: Fart Smella Where: Horashim Forrest Directions: Get to Morasha interchange, and go towards East (from #4 - either left or right, from #5 - straight). keep going past Petah Tikva, then at Kesem interchange take the middle lane (signs to highway 6 North). go on the bridge, winding left, and turn left at the stoplight. keep going until you see a right turn to Horashim Road settlements. turn right. at the next lights, make a dog-leg: right and imediatly left, towards Matan, Horashim. reach a roundabout, keep straight. turn left when you see a big yellow gate (signs to Horashim forest). drive for about 500m, and turn right into a parking lot, where the sign says Eretz Aheret and Iztrubal. Your hare will be waiting for you. Lost? Call your hare on 0544888165 HARE RAISER ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date.    Goldmember 11/29/08 Seaman  12/6/08 Deliverance  12/13/08 Capt. Caveman  12/20/08 Desperate Housewife  12/27/08 Crocksucker  1/3/09 Fatty Tatty  1/10/09 Dave  1/17/09 Rami  1/24/09 In & Out  1/31/09 Linda  2/7/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH WEEKEND

HOLYLAND HASH WEEKEND DECEMBER 5TH TO 7TH 2008 KIBBUTZ ZEELIM   DUE TO THE INSTABILTY OF THE GLOBAL ECONOMIC MARKET, THE COMMITEE HAS AGREED THAT THE PRICE FOR THE WEEKEND BE PEGGED AS OF MONDAY 17TH NOVEMBER 2008 TO THE MOST UNSTABLE ECONOMY OF ANY HASH GROUP IN THE WORLD.   THUS AFTER CONSULTING LEADING ECONOMIC HASHERS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE AND ATTENDING A MISMANAGEMENT SUMMIT OF THE BEER 20 NATIONS   THE COMMITEE HAS SET THE PRICE OF THE WEEKEND AT $3,096,609.57c ZIMBABWE DOLLARS   WHAT DOES YOUR $3,096,609.57c ZWD GET YOU   WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD CAN YOU SPEND $3 MILLION DOLLARS AND DRINK AS MUCH BEER AS YOU WANT.   NOT TO MENTION THE WINE, BOTH COLORS ARE AVAILABLE   AND YET THERE IS MORE , ALL THE MEAT YOU CAN EAT FRIDAY NIGHT , OUR RESIDENT EXPERT CHEFS, ALL OF WHOM HAVE RECEIVED TRAINING IN TOSSING DEAD COW PARTS OVER BURNING EMBERS FROM WORLD RENOWNED RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS.   AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE THE KEYS TO YOUR PRIVATE VILLA FOR TWO NIGHTS, YES TWO NIGHTS. ALL VILLAS ARE FACING RUSSIA SO THAT HASHERS WILL BE ABLE TO CLAIM EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF WORLD FOREIGN POLICY DURING THEIR STAY.   SURELY THERE CANNOT BE MORE   YES WAIT FOR THIS – TWO YES TWO BREAKFASTS AT A MICHELLIN RATED KIBBUTZ DINING ROOM, SOMETIMES MORE THAN THREE FLAVORS OF YOGURT ARE AVAILABLE.   THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BELIEVE, ALL THIS FOR JUST $3 MILLION DOLLARS!   ON SATURDAY NIGHT, PREPARE YOURSELVES TO BE WINED AND DINED IN THE FINEST CARPETED ESTABLISHMENT IN THE AREA.   THERE WILL BE TWO HASH RUNS SET BY LEGENDS OF THE HASH. WHO IN NORMAL ECONOMIC TIMES WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING AT LEADING WORLD ECONOMIC HASH SEMINARS?   SURELY IT CANNOT BE POSSIBLE ALL THIS VALUE AND ONLY $3 MILLION PLUS CHANGE.   THERE MUST BE A CATCH.    GREAT COMPANY. ALL THE BEER I CAN DRINK, WINE OF BOTH COLORS AVAILABLE IN PLASTIC CUPS, A PLACE TO LAY MY HEAD, ALL THE DEAD COW I CAN EAT AND A SOMEWHERE TO EAT WHERE THERE IS CARPET, THE WORLD FAMOUS KIBBTZ BREAKFAST NOT ONCE BUT TWICE.   SIGN ME UP; THIS IS A BARGAIN FOR $3 MILLION.   WAIT BEFORE YOU COMMIT LETS GO TO THE TESTIMONIAL PAGES OF PREVIOUS HASH WEEKENDS . . .   "THEY THOUGHT THE FRIDAY NIGHT HASH RUN WAS SO CRAPPY AND SHORT THAT THEY RAN IT TWICE" Lager Lout   "I GOT SO DRUNK THAT THEY PAINTED MY TOENAILS AND I NEVER KNEW ABOUT IT, THE LIPSTICK ALSO COMLIMENTED MY NEW FOUND FEMINE SIDE" Fer Fox Sake   "WHILE I SLEPT IN A HOPS INDUCED COMA, MY FELLOW HASHERS REMOVED ALL 4 WHEELS FROM MY VOLVO AND HID THEM" Captain Caveman   " I WENT TO SLEEP IN MY BED , AND DURING THE COURSE OF THE NIGHT THEY MOVED MY BED OUTSIDE WITH ME STILL IN IT AND I WOKE UP OUTSIDE MY ROOM" Trobin   "MY MOM STILL DOES NOT LET US DRINK THE BEER" C3PO and R2D2   SURELY FOR ONLY $3 MILLION DOLLARS IT IS TOO GOOD TO BELIEVE.   THIS OFFER IS AVAILABLE TO ALL HOLYLAND HASHERS TILL WEDNESDAY NIGHT AS THE KIBBUTZ NEEDS NUMBERS FOR THEIR EXCLUSIVE VILLAS.   YOU NEED TO EMAIL OR PHONE DR DOLITTLE BY WEDNESDAY NIGHT scb.avi@gmail.com  0544453106  Please have passport number available.   LETS FACE IT, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SPENT 3 MILLION DOLLARS ON A WEEKEND AWAY.   HURRY HURRY HURRY, EMAIL OR CALL NOW!   WAIT . . . SURELY THERE CANNOT BE MORE?   YES THERE IS   A WALKING BRIDGE TO RIVAL THE GOLDEN GATE, OSTRICH FARMING, A PUB COMPLETE WITH POOL TABLES AND SULPHUR SPRINGS.  Massages are available (with no happy ending) at extra cost.   FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO A ZIMBABWE DOLLAR ACCOUNT AT THERE LOCAL BANK, HASH CASH WILL RELUCTANTLY ACCEPT ISRAELI SHEKELS IN LIEU   TOTAL COST OF WEEKEND HAS BEEN CONVERTED BACK TO 900 SHEKELS PER COUPLE.  195 SHEKELS PER CHILD.  Please note that if you are staying one night or are sharing a room or a single, Dr. DoLittle will advise on an individual basis.   Included: Two Nights Accommodation Friday Night bbq All beer and wine Breakfast Sat & Sunday mornings Sat Night Dinner at a Restaurant Two Hash runs, Fri PM and Sat Afternoon   On On TWIN PEAKS 0528743662 maureenkarassik@yahoo.com   A DETAILED ITERNARY WILL FOLLOW   PLEASE EMAIL OR PHONE BY WEDNESDAY.   CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE  www.zeelim.co.il

HASH TRASH RUN 759 & DIRECTIONS TO 760

HASH TRASH RUN 759 & DIRECTIONS TO 760    There were Melbourne Cup hats, paparazzi and odd looks from passerbys.  But on we ran through the streets of Tel Aviv. (Actually it was more like a 'hobble through the streets of Tel Aviv' for the scribe.)  We sang Hash Hokey Pokey at the half-way.  Some of us continued running.  We had beers and down downs while the sun set over Tel Aviv.  We made a nice mess of Dyke Dot Cum and her balcony and then had her serve us curry and lasagna. We had more beers. And those who lingered on, eventually watched the race that stops Australia.   Down Downs   FRB: Russian Bride / Rami DFL: Diablo SCB: Boston Creamed, Russian Bride and Desperate House Wife Returnees: Pregnant Pause, Yonaton Relievers: Yonaton Song abuse: Wet Pussy Half-marathoners: Border Bitch, Diablo, Goldmember, Crock Sucker   DIRECTIONS TO RUN 760   Date: Sat, 15 November When: 3 pm Hare: Dr. Do-Little Where: Directions: From the West Route # 5 take exit Morasha Junct. Ra'anana / Jerusalem / Ashdod  cross Route # 4  **) From the East Route # 5 take exit Morasha Junct. Ashdod / Ra'anana make U-turn back for the # 5  **) From the North Route # 4 turn Left by Morasha Junct. for Route # 5  **) From the South Route # 4 turn Right by Morasha Junct. for Route # 5 **)   **) after 40 mtr's turn Right (Sign Cementery) follow this road until the end. If you like to bring your DOG(s) let the hare know cos he has to inform the owner !!   Lost? 0544 - 453106   HARE RAISER ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date.    Fart Smella  11/22/08 Goldmember 11/29/08 Seaman  12/6/08 Deliverance  12/13/08 Capt. Caveman  12/20/08 Desperate Housewife  12/27/08 Crocksucker  1/3/09 Fatty Tatty  1/10/09 Dave  1/17/09 Rami  1/24/09 In & Out  1/31/09 Linda  2/7/09 On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com

HASH TRASH RUN 758 & DIRECTIONS TO 759

HASH TRASH RUN 758 & DIRECTIONS TO 759 MELBOURNE CUP HASH EVENT - OBLIGATORY STOOPID HAT     We gathered in a now familiar park in Ramat Aviv. We checked it out and found the trail.  We ran through the university. We learnt from Caveman the best viewing point to watch the naughty drive-in movies back in the day.  We sang happy birthday to me, Crock Sucker, at the half-way by the river. Deliverance re-lived the glory of her FRB whilst running back to the circle where it all happened just weeks before.   Down Downs   FRB: Wet Pussy DFL: Clark Virgins: Martha Mud Butt Returnees: Wet Pussy, Adi, Even, Rami, Gil, Etti, Crock Sucker and Fart Smella Birthday: Crock Sucker Child Abuse: Diablo (again) No hash shirt: Virginia, Adi, Even, Deliverance Whinning: Semen   DIRECTIONS TO RUN 759   Date: Sat, 8 November When: 3 pm Hare: Michelle Where: Tel Aviv - on the corner of Ben Yehuda and Gordon, next to the Yoghurt shop Equipment: Hat - in keeping with the Melbourne Cup theme   Michelle says 'The theme for this weeks hash is "the Melbourne Cup", so bring along a fancy or silly hat. Afterwards there will be a Melbourne Cup sweep and I will make some thai green curry for dinner.  BYO drinks and snacks'   Lost? 0545581720   HARE RAISER ROSTER   NOTE: If unable to meet a Haring obligation, Hares are responsible for finding replacement Hares for their date.    Dr Do-Little 11/15/08  Fart Smella  11/22/08 Goldmember 11/29/08 Seaman  12/6/08 Deliverance  12/13/08 Capt. Caveman  12/20/08 Desperate Housewife  12/27/08 Crocksucker  1/3/09 Fatty Tatty  1/10/09 Dave  1/17/09 Rami  1/24/09 In & Out  1/31/09 Linda  2/7/09   On-on! Hash Scribe www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com