29 November, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1025, Directions to Run #1026

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 1025th Hash:
"The Hash began at a very familiar site... London Square or better known as the concrete park near McDonalds.
The 1st half was a city Hash full on with the sights, smells and sounds of North Tel Aviv. After a mid stop at Eran Garden Park, the runners were off again on a non stop run along the beach! With holds being marked as checks, the runners were verrry ready for beer when they arrived back at London Square."

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1025:
Hare: Second Hand Job
FRB: Captain Caveman
DFL: Puppy Love Machine
Quadruplets: Second Hand Job, Deliverance, Cum-Union, Double Entry
No Hash Gear: Twin Peaks, Pig Woman
SCB: Caveman, Cum-Union, Double Entry, Pig Woman, Puppy Love Machine
Space Case: Second Hand Job
ADD: Second Hand Job, Hot Box, Ghadaffi
Lazy: Twin Peaks
Misery: Double Entry
Relievers: Cum-Union, Twin Peaks
True Trail: Second Hand Job
Naming: Just Steve will be forever known as Dudly DooLube

Directions to Run 1026:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 30th., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location:  The small parking lot near the Israel Scouts on Yehoshua Yevin St., the street leading to the Monastery of the Cross, Jerusalem. (We've met there several times before) (here).

On-After: Yes! Oui! כן! A HANNUKA-THEMED ON-AFTER AT THE HOME OF G-FATHER AND B.C.!

Maps: from Caveman's Erection Here

Directions: See map above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call The Gonadfather @ 054-5937721 or Boston Creamed @ 054-2152653

Other messages
  • I'm starting to compile the Hare list for the next six months, if you have a preferred date, please send it to me soon.
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Hare Raising Roster - are you there?!
#1027 - Dec 7 – Captain Caveman
#1028 - Dec 14 – Pig Woman
#1029 - Dec 21 – Swans
#1030 - Dec 28 – Spit or Swallow - Xmas Party @Twin Peaks'
#1031 - Jan 1 – Captain Caveman
#1032 - Jan 4 – Fluffer
#1033 - Jan 11 – Crock Sucker

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 2:49 PM

22 November, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1023, Directions to Run #1024

Hello fellow Hashers!

Hare's view of the 1024th Hash:
"Run 1024 was supposed to be hared by Goldmember. Need I say more? To be fair, Goldmember was still willing to set the Hash in Petach Tikvah as planned with assistance (meaning me - Twin Peaks). I simply decided that it would be less painful if I set the Hash on my home turf.
We circled up by the National Stadium in Ramat Gan (I know, again). Much to the surprise of Caveman, an old Hasher, Hawkeye, showed up.
Introductions were made as we waited for Puppy Love Machine and Cumunion from Jerusalem who seemed to forget that the start time is 3:00PM or 15:00.
As always, an excellent (shitty), well marked (cum on...) trail guided the pack around the stadium (just for fun) and into the park. At the halfway, after singing in front of an adoring crowd, Deliverance decided to walk back to the start. The pack set off again over a bridge, into the park and up a hill (also for the fun) and then back to the start.
At this point, the story of what happened in the circle belongs to Spit or Swallow...*
A side story -- Deliverance has lost her Hash sweatshirt after the Thirsty Knights' run in Jerusalem on Thursday. After valiant effort to locate her precious and priceless Hash sweatshirt, she is now sitting Shivah."

* Spit or Swallows story:
"Our tale begins many years ago, when a Hasher was named Hawk-Eye. This Hasher went AWOL for years only to return to our congregation last week. There was much rejoicing, a lot of beer and some other substances that made all the participants very happy and easy going. Well, all but one, who was still the fastest to drew (and the fastest in general... hint hint).
When SOS was called into the circle to receive his punishment for FRBing, the lack of beer poured over his head brought him to do it himself only to find out that another Hasher had the same idea seconds later with cold beer.
The retaliation was fast and vicious and included the throwing of the contents of an entire down down cup at the unsuspecting Hawk-Eye that stood right behind SOS. Did I mention he had nothing to do with the incident?...
Need I say how the circle reacted? People were ROTFLing, no, literally, I'm almost certain three of the Hashers had to sit down and some found that they peed themselves. Thank god Hawk-Eye had an extra shirt (though I did suggest to buy him a new, shiny orange, Hash shirt) and a great sense of humor (or was it the aforementioned substances?!)."

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1024:
Hare (Replacement): Twin Peaks
FRB: SOS
DFL: Puppy Love Machine
Returnees (after 10 years): Hawkeye  ("I was Hashing when the dinosaurs were roaming the earth")
SCB: Deliverance and Puppy Love Machine
Reliever: Puppy Love Machine
Finger Pointing: Twin Peaks
Misnaming: Deliverance
Good Samaritans: Twin Peaks and Just Steve
Funky Shoes: Hawkeye
Late Cummers: Puppy Love Machine, Cum-union
Sitting: Hawkeye
Directions to Run 1025:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 23rd., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: London Square (AKA "London Garden", "London Park" and "the concrete park next to McDonalds on HaYarkon"), HaYarkon, Tel Aviv (here).

On-After: None that I know of..

Maps: From HaShalom interchange (on Ayalon Highway - Road #20) Here

Directions: See maps above

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Second Hand Job @ 053-3384252

Other messages
  • I'm starting to compile the Hare list for the next six months, if you have a preferred date, please send it to me soon.
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Hare Raising Roster - are you there?!
#1026 - Nov 30 – Gonadfather
#1027 - Dec 7 – Captain Caveman
#1028 - Dec 14 – Pig Woman
#1029 - Dec 21 – Swans
#1030 - Dec 28 – Spit or Swallow - Xmas Party @Twin Peaks'
#1031 - Jan 1 – Captain Caveman
#1032 - Jan 4 – Fluffer
#1033 - Jan 11 – Crock Sucker
--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 12:48 PM

16 November, 2013

Hash Flash - Directions to Run #1024 - New Location!!!

Hello fellow Hashers!

The Hash starting point had changed - note the new location:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 16th., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: National Stadium, Ramat-Gan (Here). 
We'll meet at the South East corner next to the Meuhedit sports clinic.
Just drive around the stadium till you find us. 

On-After: None that I know of..

Maps: From Tel-Aviv (Ayalon) Here
From Road #4 - Here

Directions:
See map. 

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Twin Peaks @ 052-8743662

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 11:32 AM

15 November, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1023, Directions to Run #1024

Hello fellow Hashers!

NOTE THE (not so) NEW HOUR!
The Hash starts @ 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm!

Hash-Trash's view of the 1023rd Hash:
"We circled up near Wine and More and the pack was off. That is all I remember because I waited too long to send this in and pissed off the Scribe!* No wait, there is more. We had the halfway at Bourbon Street Bar that cost 205 shekels according to Hash Cash, also pissed off. It was astounding; there were unbelievable feats of strength and limberness on the Hash, you had to be there. Just Nir did some kind of Capoeira move. We drank some, had down downs and continued the party at Bourbon Street after the Hash, which, strangely, I remember better.
It was awesome!."
* Hash Scribe is indeed pissed off, but he was at a wedding today and had so much scotch, his anger is somewhat dulled...

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1023:
Hare: Deliverance
FRB: Twin Peaks
DFL: Just Nir
Shortcutting: Puppy Love Machine, Twin Peaks
Stretching: Just Nir
Virgin to Me: Just Nancy and Just Audrey
Walkers: STD, Just Nancy, Just Nicole, Just Audrey
Child Abuse: Goldmember, Just Nancy
Malapropism (look it up, cuz you don't know what it means): Just Nir
Latecomers: Just Nancy, Just Audrey, Puppy Love Machine, Cum-Union, Fuckhead,
Time Travel: Fuckhead, Puppy Love Machine, Cum-Union
Returnees: Jusrt Nancy, Just Audrey, Cum-Union, Fuckhead
Wedding of the Century: Just Nir and Just Nicole
Hash Brats: Just Audrey, Just Mayan
Customer Service Fail: Twin Peaks
No Hash Kit: Just Nancy, Just Audrey, Just Nir and Just Nicole.  (Hint:  Buy a marker and a Tee shirt and make your own, Cheap Bastards!

Directions to Run 1024:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 16th., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: Meir Dankner st. Petah Tikva (Here).

On-After: None that I know of..

Maps: From Tel-Aviv (Ayalon) Here

Directions:
Well, it's really simple;
Get to Petah Tikva somehow, specifically to Geha interchange.
Go East (on Jabotinsky)
Turn Left towards Dankner (8th traffic light)

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Goldmember @ 052-3980164

Other messages
  • I'm starting to compile the Hare list for the next six months, if you have a preferred date, please send it to me soon.
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Hare Raising Roster - are you there?!
#1025 - Nov 23 – Second Hand Job
#1026 - Nov 30 – Gonadfather
#1027 - Dec 7 – Captain Caveman
#1028 - Dec 14 – Pig Woman
#1029 - Dec 21 – Swans
#1030 - Dec 28 – Spit or Swallow - Xmas Party @Twin Peaks'
#1031 - Jan 1 – Captain Caveman
#1032 - Jan 4 – Fluffer
#1033 - Jan 11 – Crock Sucker

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 8:59 PM

13 November, 2013

Thirsty Knights Hash - Rockin' it J-lem Style!

Hello fellow Hashers!
This week is a very special one, as we will be having a once in a lifetime Thirsty Knights Hash in the Holy-City.
Here are some words from your hare - Deliverance:

Thirsty Knights Hash in Jerusalem will take place this Thursday at 7:30 PM.
The run will start from the Aroma coffee shop in Mamilla.
The Jerusalem Knight's Festival will coincide with our run. Wear Hash gear or a better yet, knight's related outfit.
Please try to be there a little early as we understand that this is a popular event and well attended.  Allow yourself plenty of time to find parking and get to Aroma.
Some Tel Aviv Hashers have plunked down money for a hotel. Others are camping out at other Hasher's crash pads. The hotel is the Jerusalem Gold Hotel at 345 Jaffa Street. If you would like to make reservations, please do so now, although an over night is not necessary, it is certainly more fun.
Looking forward to seeing you there.
For any questions, call Deliverance at 050-263-4684.
Party On-On!    

Meeting time: Thursday Nov 14th., 19:30, 1930hr, 7:30pm.

Location: Aroma coffee shop in Mamilla - Jerusalem (Here) - Estimated location!!!

On-After: Of Course!

Maps: From Caveman's erection Here

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 11:01 AM

08 November, 2013

"Just" a Wedding Invitation

Hello fellow Hashers!

I got this email from the Justs (Nicole and Nir) regarding their wedding. Please read:

Hey there

We had mentioned this before at previous runs - but we would be happy to have Hashers join us at our wedding :)

The important part:
Open Bar, Lots of Booze
Lots of food
We promise fun
other surprises
In Tel Aviv.
December 1st, 

7:30 Kabbalat Panim (Aka the pre-food before the main event)
8:30 Chuppah (The legal hitching) then after we eat, drink, dance, be merry and we will be married. We are getting married at "Sheva" in Tel Aviv (www.sheva.co.il)

We'd love to have our Hash Family join us :) (Flour markings are optional...)

The only thing we need to know is who wants to join us so we can make sure we have the right amount of space set up. So please email us at: wedding@nirart.com and let us know if you plan on joining us or tell us to @!#*& off (and please include a phone number if you say yes!)

We hope to see you at the run on Saturday : ) 

Ps. Jack (the Necrophiliac) is not allowed to join us. There will be old people and we don't want him to get excited. 



--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 4:25 PM

Hash Trash Run #1022, Directions to Run #1023

Hello fellow Hashers!

NOTE THE NEW HOUR!
The Hash starts @ 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm!

Hash-Trash's view of the 1022nd Hash:
"There was a Hash."

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1022:
Hares: Double Entry and STD
FRB: Dead Boring
DFL: Deliverance
Returnees: Second Hand Job, Goldmember, Dead Boring, Dr. Doolittle, Just Steve
Relievers: Puppy Love Machine, Quadafi
Missed Hold: Caveman, Dead Boring, Quadafi, Just Steve
No Holds: Double Entry and STD
New Shoes: Goldmember and Dead Boring
Diarrhea: Puppy Love Machine
Twins: Double Entry and Just Steve
Whining: Caveman
Plastic, Cheap Beer: Quadafi
Tech on Trail: Boston Creamed, Just Steve

Directions to Run 1023:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 9th., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: Parking lot off of Maskit st. Herzliya Pituach (Here).

On-After: None that I know of..

Maps: From Tel-Aviv (Derech Namir) Here

Directions: 
Take Derech Namir Road to Highway 2 North. 
Exit at Ha Sira exit into the Industrial Zone/Abba Evan Street.
Make your first right onto Maskit Street and continue for about 200 meters and on your left you will see a large pay parking area. 
Take a Left at the end of the parking lot.
You may park for free near in the blue and white spaces surrounding the paring area. 
We will meet at the corner near Wine and More (the south-western corner)

And about the not finding the spot and all that shit; If you do get lost, just...


Call Deliverance @ 050-2634684

Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Hare Raising Roster - are you there?!
#1024 - Nov 16 – Goldmember
#1025 - Nov 23 – Second Hand Job
#1026 - Nov 30 – Gonadfather
#1027 - Dec 7 – Captain Caveman
#1028 - Dec 14 – Pig Woman
#1029 - Dec 21 – Swans
#1030 - Dec 28 – Spit or Swallow - Xmas Party @Twin Peaks'
#1031 - Jan 1 – Captain Caveman
#1032 - Jan 4 – Fluffer
#1033 - Jan 11 – Crock Sucker

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 4:09 PM

01 November, 2013

Hash Trash Run #1021, Directions to Run #1022

Hello fellow Hashers!

NOTE THE NEW HOUR!
The Hash starts @ 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm!

Hash-Trash's view of the 1021st Hash:
"The core Jerusalem hasher gathered Saturday without the company of a single, lone, solitary, sole even, h-a-s-h-e-r from Tel Aviv. Despite the disappointment over what were termed the "yuppy whips" from the lowlands, the drove set off over hill and dale."

So on we go to the...

Down-Downs Run 1021:

Hare: Gadhafi (and allegedly Hot Box, see below)
FRB: Pig Woman
DFL: Gonadfather
Golden Showers: Puppy Love Machine, Gonadfather, Gadhafi, Pig Woman
Misnaming: Crock Sucker
Sexist: Puppy Love Machine
Latecummer: Cummunion
No Gear / Shiny Twins: Just Keith, Cummunion, Gonadfather
Unhealthy Advisor: Hot Box
Holier Than Thou: Fart Smella
Mis Halfway-ed: Hot Box, Crock Sucker (Fart Smella as proxy), Just Keith

Directions to Run 1022:

Meeting time: Saturday Nov 2nd., 15:00, 1500hr, 3pm.

Location: The Israeli Tennic Center - Ramat HaSharon Here (http://goo.gl/DYqy97).

Maps: From Hashalom Interchange on Ayalon Here (http://goo.gl/dk74jG)
          From Morasha Interchange (connection of roads #4 and #5) Here (http://goo.gl/lTxQrV)
* I've had some trouble with the links to the maps, so if you can't see a route, just right click on the map wherever you want to start from and click "Directions from here"

Directions: see map

Lost?! Call Double Entry @ 054-7909034


Other messages
  • REMINDER: The hare is now responsible for writing the Hash High Lights while Hash-Scribe will only rewrite it however the hell he wants, so get your pencils ready!

Hare Raising Roster - are you there?!
#1022 - Nov 2 – Double Entry
#1023 - Nov 9 – Gonadfather
#1024 - Nov 16 – Goldmember
#1025 - Nov 23 – Second Hand Job
#1026 - Nov 30 – Captain Caveman
#1027 - Dec 7 – Deliverance
#1028 - Dec 14 – Pig Woman
#1029 - Dec 21 – Swans
#1030 - Dec 28 – Spit or Swallow - Xmas Party @Twin Peaks'
#1031 - Jan 1 – Captain Caveman
#1032 - Jan 4 – Fluffer
#1033 - Jan 11 – Crock Sucker

--
On-on!
Hash Scribe

posted by Hash Scribe at 1:20 PM