24 April, 2007

HASH TRASH - RUN 679

HASH TRASH - RUN 679
Happy 59th Birthday
Place: Rishpon
Hares: Shock & Awe, aided by Doggie Style



Rishpon is an affluent suburb just north of even more affluent Kfar Shmaryahu. It's famous for real estate, furniture stores and an excellent running shop. It's also mentioned on the eDiplomat site for its riding stables. But Rishpon of yesteryear, where Humble Scribe spent several childhood summer visits collecting eggs and feeding cows, was a town of farms. Google the word "Rishpon" and you'll find it features prominently on the website "History of Tractor and Agricultural Machinery in Israel", a collection of tractors and agricultural machines located at Moshav Ein-Vered in the Sharon. Who knew?

Aside from the occasional riding horse, dogs are more or less the only livestock one sees in Rishpon today but even they stayed a safe distance from our merry Hashing band, as we traversed streets, sidewalks and even some fields. Israel Independence Day being the upcoming holiday, several Hashers were dressed in blue and white but Caveman bested everyone with a large Israeli flag-hat (or a hat-shaped Israeli flag). In keeping with the occasion, the halfway song was a round of "Happy Birthday" that can only be described as wince-provoking.*

A wind blew up as we headed in for the Down-downs, the weather went chilly and, in a horrifying turn of events, we ran out of beer! This shocking incident must not and will be repeated, otherwise someone** is due for a Down-down -- and if they will just bring some more beer we can get started on that next week.

We received word this week from Turn-ho that she returned to Portland safely despite our best efforts. She writes that she got "some interesting looks in security" when they saw the Hash Shit toilet seat bestowed upon her and Loose Caboose, but no arrests were made.

END NOTE: Humble Scribe will be on vacation for two weeks during which time Fer Fox Sake has graciously consented to take over H4 scribing responsibilities. He promises that an Australian-accented Hash Trash will be "much funnier"***, so please hold him to his word.


* In that it provoked several winces and a few involuntary tics and twitches. But everyone survived.
** The Beer-Meister, maybe?
*** As a matter of fact, he said it couldn't help but be!

Down-downs

Hares - Shock & Awe, Doggie Style
FRB - Fer Fox Sake
SCB - Dr. Do-little, Triar Fruck
4 Spies - Bravefart, Claire, Richard
Marathon - Dead Boring
Ultra Marathon - FFS
Dr. Seuss - Captain Caveman (hat)
Returnees - Dead Boring, Doggie Style, Lager Lout, Shock & Awe
No Way in Hell [is Pussycat coming to the Hash anymore] - Lager Lout
Stevie Wonder [RU Humpin'? No!] - Loose Caboose
Virgins - Karen, William
Shite British Cricket Team - Claire, Dead Boring, Karen, Lager Lout, Richard, William
DIRECTIONS TO RUN 680

Place:
Date: April 28, 2007
Time: 4:00pm
Hare: Russian Bride, aided by FFS
Directions:
Take Highway 2 NORTH to Yaqum junction. There's a service station with a Cafe Buono and some other shops. The starting point is round the back.
Map:
Lost? Call Russian Bride
AND... THIS WEEK IN HASH-TORY II
Savoring history down to the last drop...
From a letter was addressed to the Kuala Lumpur HHH in 1958 by Cecil Lee, one of the co-founders of the Hash House Harriers. The full text can be found here, but this excerpt nicely delineates the values at the core of Hashing: "merry and bright", non-competitive, running in packs, disorganization, an emphasis on refreshment and, of course, short cuts (or, as Lee puts it, "the conservation of energy"). Enjoy.
"The Hash House Harriers were founded in a moment of post-prandial inspiration at the Selangor Club Chambers, about 1937/38, by the inmates, who included myself, E.J. Galvin, H.M. Doig, and A.S. Gispert. Gispert was the real founder – a man of great wit and charm, who was killed on Singapore Island in February 1942 whilst serving with the Argylls, having only just returned from leave in Australia to rejoin the volunteers. I am glad of this opportunity to salute his memory. He was a splendid fellow, and would be happy to know the Harriers are still going strong, and are as merry and bright as ever - or more so. Gispert was not an athlete, and stress was laid as much on the subsequent refreshment etc. as on the pure and austere running. It was non-competitive, and abounded in slow packs. Life was then conservative rather than competitive.
"The name was a mock allusion to the institution that housed and fed us. Later 'Torch' Bennett returned from leave, and produced order out of chaos - a bank account, balance sheet and some system. But we pride ourselves on being rather disorganised - or the minimum organization sufficed. The original joint masters were myself and 'Horse' Thompson, still running somewhere – a past-master at short-cuts and the conservation of energy."
PLUS... LAST CHANCE TO RSVP FOR QUIZ NIGHT
It's happening on Friday April 27th.
Directions:
From the '2' , exit at the Shmaryahu Junction and go towards the sea on Keren Hayesod. At the mini-roundabout by the Tavola restaurant go right round and back on yourself. Turn first right on Shalva and keep going past Basel & Shevet Menashe. As soon as you see the small park on the right find a parking space. Between the park and the houses on the left of the park there is a little conifer-lined path. It's the house at the end of this path. The usual ? signs will be up.
IMPORTANT: Please bring your own drinks and some food to share.
MORE IMPORTANT: RSVP to ruthfretwell@hotmail.com
AND... UPCOMING RUNS
27.4.2007 - Dalia Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
28.4.2007 - Herzliya Run - 10k, 2k - Contact: dovevm@gmail.com - Dovev Mazor
Starting point is at the Herzliya Country Club
5.5.2007 - Gezer Run - 10k, 5k, 2k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
5.5.2007 - Jordan Valley Triathlon - 03-6764008
11.5.2007 - Gaash Run - 10k, 5k - www.realtiming.co.il - Registration closes 8.5.2007
12.5.2007 - Shoham Run - 03-9794003
12.5.2007 - Country Gimel Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Park HaMayim (Water Park) Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Netanya Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
2.6.2007 - Herzliya Women's Trialthlon - Contact: 09 774 9015, 052 358 0004 - www.women-tri.com
16.6.2007 - Tel Aviv Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
HOLYLAND HHH LOGO N' GO
"Where Beer and Idiocy Meet"
On-on!
Boston Creamed



HASH SCRIBE
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com



Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

18 April, 2007

HASH TRASH - RUN 678

HASH TRASH - RUN 678
Run Ramat Run
Place: Ramat Gan
Hares: Twin Peaks



North, south, east or west? The wonderful thing about the Sharett St. meeting point is that, aside from an initial downhill run and a guaranteed last stretch uphill, one never knows which direction the trail will take.

Our Hare ensured variety from the outset by taking the group offroad on a steep downwards slope that brought us squarely onto Jabotinsky St., one of Ramat Gan's main drags. We then waited... and waited... for Fer Fox Sake and Bullshit, who had backtracked to make sure their cars were locked. Deliverance, a self-diasgnosed ADHD sufferer herself, mumbled something about people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but Humble Scribe begs to offer another possibility, that of creeping senility, instead.

Speaking of memory loss, Star Wars was to have played a part in the run but Hare Twin Peaks forgot that she was supposed to ask Loose Caboose and Turn-Ho, the day's guests of honor, a series of Jedi-related questions.

And so we ran on themelessly, chatting on random topics amongst ourselves. Stroker, back for the first time since running the Rome Marathon, told us about the Eternal City and the cobblestones that tear your feet. Neverfucker mentioned he has a book on gobalization and environmentalism coming out. And Diablo and FFS talked about nursing schedules. That's right. Our sensitive HHHH males have moved from last summer's ongoing light conversation about nipple abrasion (easily solved by purchasing a pair of NipGuards) to the hard core: night-time breast and/or bottle feedings. Hey guys, even Michelle hasn't subjected us to the sort of in-depth detail about pregnancy as was overheard last week.**

Bringing us back to phallic reality was the sculpture that marked our halfway point. Humble Scribe tried in vain to find out the name, or indeed the subject of the work, which seems to be an abstract representation of a bone (or something like that) with a horn emerging upside its head. Amazingly, this work, shamelessly foisted on an innocent public, is not featured in the online gallery entitled Ugly Sculptures, Ramat Gan, Isreal (sic), but it should be.**

And so we continued on-on, finding ourselves on Jabotinsky St. once again, this time in front of the old Elite chocolate factory. The Hare delivered a short history about this Bauhaus-era building, recently sold to Donald Trump, who plans to build a high-rise on the site.

By this point, the Hare had reinstated the Star Wars quiz element, in which Loose Caboose and Turn-Ho were aksed questions. For every correct answer, we were given a hint as to which direction was On-on. They do know their stuff, which helped speed us back to the starting point for Down-downs and a "Farewell and Fuck Off" party in honor of Turn-Ho and Loose Caboose, (though he will continue to join us for the duration of his stay). They have extended an open invitation to anyone wanting to visit Portland and the Hump HHH -- contact details available via this address. May the Force Be With Them.

* Nor will she because she is far too polite.
** Just in case, here's that link again: http://travel.webshots.com/album/101298656BHXiHv

Down-downs
Hares: Twin Peaks
FRB: Fer Fox Sake (joined by Russian Bride, last week's FRB)
DFL: Boston Creamed
Charles Dickens: Twin Peaks
Padawans: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho
Returnees: Bullshit, Diablo, Matterhorn, Neverfucker, Triar Fruck, Stroker
OCD (or Senility): Bullshit, FFS

Breast Feeders: Diablo, FFS
Mt. Tavor Run: Boston Creamed, Captain Caveman, FFS, Goldmember
Rome Marathoner: Stroker
Bad Girl: Michelle (didn't fess up as a Returnee)
Misdirection: Deliverance (has missed the Ashdod exit three times -- so far)
Farewell: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho


DIRECTIONS TO RUN 679
Place: Herzliya Pituach
Date: April 21, 2007
Time: 4:00pm
Hare: Shock & Awe
Directions:
The hash will be in Rishpon. From coast road (Hwy 2) exit at Rishpon, then take first right. Go for a couple hundred meters, then right again... you will see the hares waiting.
Lost? Call Shock & Awe
AND... HASHERS REPRESENT AT MT. TAVOR RUN
Well, we made it there, despite the organizers best efforts to keep participants away. Fer Fox Sake maintains that at least one minute should be shaved off the recorded time to make up for a VERY badly managed event that had everyone start at least a minute away from the starting line. The Marzipan Museum was nice, though.
The results:
FFS - 01:03:27
Caveman - 01:15:32
Goldmember - 01:16:16
Boston Creamed - 01:22:50
PLUS... QUIZ NIGHT IS ICUMIN IN!
Lhude sing cuccu!
Lager Lout writes: Hope you had time to recharge your brain cells ready for the next quiz which is next Friday - 27th April - 7.30pm.
Directions:
From the '2' , exit at the Shmaryahu Junction and go towards the sea on Keren Hayesod. At the mini-roundabout by the Tavola restaurant go right round and back on yourself. Turn first right on Shalva and keep going past Basel & Shevet Menashe. As soon as you see the small park on the right find a parking space. Between the park and the houses on the left of the park there is a little conifer-lined path. It's the house at the end of this path. The usual ? signs will be up.
IMPORTANT: Please bring your own drinks and some food to share.
MORE IMPORTANT: RSVP to ruthfretwell@hotmail.com
TRY THIS... WORK YOUR BUNS AT ASS-RIELI
24 hour spinning event on the Azrieli Center rooftop.
April 26-27 - Contact: 1-700-700-305
AND... UPCOMING RUNS
27.4.2007 - Dalia Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
28.4.2007 - Herzliya Run - 10k, 2k - Contact: dovevm@gmail.com - Dovev Mazor
5.5.2007 - Gezer Run - 10k, 5k, 2k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
5.5.2007 - Jordan Valley Triathlon - 03-6764008
11.5.2007 - Gaash Run - 10k, 5k - www.realtiming.co.il - Registration closes 8.5.2007
12.5.2007 - Shoham Run - 03-9794003
12.5.2007 - Country Gimel Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Park HaMayim (Water Park) Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Netanya Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
2.6.2007 - Herzliya Women's Trialthlon - Contact: 09 774 9015, 052 358 0004 - www.women-tri.com
16.6.2007 - Tel Aviv Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
HOLYLAND HHH LOGO - SO, YO, SO YO HO!
"Where Beer and Idiocy Meet"
On-on!
Boston Creamed



HASH SCRIBE
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com



Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell?
Check out new cars at Yahoo! Autos.

10 April, 2007

HASH TRASH - RUN 677

HASH TRASH - RUN 677
Hashdod By the Sea
Place: Ashdod
Hares: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho



A merry band of nine Hashers came down to Ashdod. It would have been ten, had Deliverance not missed the damn turnoff -- again. Also fearful of getting lost, Claire and Richard had set out early, then spent an hour touring the sights of Ashdod. That's about all one needs, really.

There being no walkers, the runners circled up and dashed On-on. Our hares had originally mapped out a longer trail but cut it to a short 5k due to the first (but certainly not the last) heatwave of the year. Despite the holiday's proscription on leavening, they managed to scrape together enough flour for proper though not Kosher for Passover blobs.

Goldmember did not wear a Hash shirt! Her logic was that as she was keeping tradition and wasn't drinking beer, which is not Kosher for Passover, she didn't have to worry about getting a Down-down.*

After several weeks on hiatus, Dr. Do-little rejoined our ranks in fine short-cutting style. He brought with him a friend named Feydor who doesn't have much experience, having done just a few Olympic games and the Tour de France only nine times... Well, the Hash was new for him, anyway!

Loose lips may sink ships but Loose Caboose's lips spurred the group on, with continual verbal indications as to which was the right way, much to his co-Hare's chagrin. The run took us down to the glorious Ashdod beach and up by the local soccer stadium before bringing us back to the starting point and some refreshing cold ones.


*She did get one, though.

Down-downs
Hares: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho
FRB: Russian Bride
DFL: Twin Peaks
Hashirtless: Goldmember (pled Kashrut)
SCB: Dr. Do-little
Virgin: Feydor
Hametz (Leavening) Hash: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho
Big Hints: Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho
The Tourists: Claire, Richard
Returnee: Dr. D.


DIRECTIONS TO RUN 678
Place: Ramat Gan
Date: April 14, 2007
Time: 4:00pm
Hare: Twin Peaks
IMPORTANT NOTICE: There will be an On-on after the run at Twin Peaks' house in honor of Turn-Ho and Loose Caboose. Food (and beer) will be provided but if you'd like, bring a bottle of wine.
Directions:
Coming from the North
Take the Ayalon Freeway south towards Tel Aviv.
Get off at HA-HALACHA exit.
Stay to your RIGHT following the sign for RAMAT GAN and BIALIK Street.
Cross over the bridge - this puts you on Bialik Street.
Go straight through 4 traffic lights -- at the 5th traffic light turn LEFT onto JABOTINSKY.
Go straight through 1 traffic light and before you reach the 2nd traffic light turn RIGHT onto ZOHAR Street (a little side street). Go till the end.
Turn LEFT onto HERZL then a QUICK RIGHT onto MOSHE SHARETT street.
Up the hill and park on the street near the Ben Gurion School. Your Hare will be waiting.
If you reach a water tower you have gone to far.
Lost? Call Twin Peaks
AND... THIS WEEK IN HASH-TORY
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it
From a 1950 Kuala Lumpur club registration card:
Objectives of Hashing:
1. To encourage physical fitness amongst our members
2. To get rid of weekend hangovers
3. To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it with beer
4. To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel
HASHERS MAKE NY TIMES TRAVEL SECTION
"All the news that fits, we print"
PLUS... QUIZ NIGHT IS A-COMIN'
Quiz Night will be on Friday April 27th. RSVP to Lager Lout at ruthfretwell@hotmail.com
AND... UPCOMING RUNS
17.4.2007 - Ashkelon Run - 10k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
27.4.2007 - Dalia Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
28.4.2007 - Herzliya Run - 10k, 2k - Contact: dovevm@gmail.com - Dovev Mazor
5.5.2007 - Gezer Run - 10k, 5k, 2k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
5.5.2007 - Jordan Valley Triathlon - 03-6764008
11.5.2007 - Gaash Run - 10k, 5k - www.realtiming.co.il - Registration closes 8.5.2007
12.5.2007 - Shoham Run - 03-9794003
12.5.2007 - Country Gimel Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Park HaMayim (Water Park) Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305 -
18.5.2007 - Netanya Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
2.6.2007 - Herzliya Women's Trialthlon - Contact: 09 774 9015, 052 358 0004 - www.women-tri.com
16.6.2007 - Tel Aviv Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
Spinning under the sky
A 24 hour spinning event on the rooftop of the Azrieli Center. Ah...
April 26-27 - Contact: 1-700-700-305
HOLYLAND HHH LOGO - EMBLEM-O-MATIC
"Where Beer and Idiocy Meet"
On-on!
Boston Creamed



HASH SCRIBE
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com



Don't get soaked. Take a quick peak at the forecast
with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.

05 April, 2007

HASH TRASH - RUN 676

HASH TRASH - RUN 676
Gone With the Wind
Place: Old Jaffa
Hare: Bravefart



After a day of sunshine, the weather turned windy and chilly just in time for the Hash. Our valiant and efficient Hare had marked the course the day before but a change was in the wind. Literally.

On-on! Having run 17.5k that morning, Twin Peaks sensibly set off as the lone walker (she was later joined by Pregnant Pause) while Boston Creamed and Captain Caveman (who ran the same 17.5k) idiotically decided to run.

Finding the first hold proved no problem but the second one was missed. Richard zipped ahead only to overshoot the hold, which had been covered by a parked car. After that it was anyone's guess -- the breeze having taken many flour blobs with it, or they might have been wiped out by vigilant municipal workers. It's unclear.

The course took us through the hills and dales of picturesque Old Jaffa, winding through the old city, then down towards Neve Zedek and the back of the David Intercontinental Hotel where we sang "(Oh My Darling) Clementine." Humble Scribe mentions these geographic locations because there were no... holds... between the exit from Old Jaffa... and the halfway point. It was then that Boston and Caveman* (joined by Russian Bride**) decided to walk.

Pregnant Pause raised an issue that requires clarification. Personal phone numbers do appear in the Hash Trash but -- with the exception of Dr. Do-little's -- they are not posted on the blog. This is for privacy reasons. Anyone in need of a phone list should contact this address and it will be dispatched forthwith.

*Did I mention the 17.5 run?
** Just sociable.

Down-downs
Hare: Bravefart
FRB: Richard
DFL: Pregnant Pause
Returnees: Claire, Richard
Sadism: Bravefart
Late: Pregnant Pause
Doing 1/2 the Run & Whinging: Boston Creamed, Captain Caveman, Russian Bride, Twin Peaks
Unknown Reasons: Twin Peaks
Drinking the Dregs: Deliverance

DIRECTIONS TO RUN 677
Place: Ashdod
Date: April 7, 2007
Time: 4:00pm
Hare: Loose Caboose, Turn-ho
From the Tel Aviv and areas more North:
Get to Rt. 4 going SOUTH
Take the North Ashdod exit (the first one)
Stay on that road (Nir Galim) until you reach the dead end at the port.
Take a left at the dead end.
The road veers a bit to the left and goes up a hill to a bridge.
Cross the bridge and come to a round-a-bout
Take a RIGHT
You'll come to a second round-a-bout
Go STRAIGHT
When you get to Jabotinsky
Take a RIGHT
When you get to Ya'ir (You'll see a sign for Givat Yona)
Take a RIGHT
Make your way up to the top where there is a dirt lot.
Your Hares will be waiting.
Map:
This map might be helpful www3.emap.co.il/eng_index.asp
Lost? Call
AND... THIS WEEK IN HASH-TORY
Twin Peaks has forwarded on a couple of items received from the Philadelphia Hash (http://www.thehashhouse.org/genealogy/tree/index.htm). It includes a link to The Hash House Org, a group "dedicated to preserving the history of the Hash House Harriers and Rebuilding the Hash House." While we don't know if that's a truly attainable goal, the site -- a virtual museum of Hashing memorabilia -- is very interesting, or will be if the site is ever completed. However, if you'd like to see a photo of the original Hash House in Kuala Lumpur where it all got started, click here: http://www.thehashhouse.org/
PLUS... QUIZ NIGHT COMETH
Mistress of Trivia Lager Lout writes, "Next Quiz Night will be on Friday April 27th so make a note in your diaries. Happy Easter / Pesach to you all." RSVP to Lager Lout at ruthfretwell@hotmail.com
AND... UPCOMING RUNS
13.4,2007 - Mount Tabor Run - 11k around the Tavor - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
13.4,2007 - The 14th Dead Sea Ultra Marathon in Jordan
http://www.deadseamarathon.com/UI/English/ShowContent.aspx?ContentId=36
17.4.2007 - Ashkelon Run - 10k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
27.4.2007 - Dalia Run - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305
28.4.2007 - Herzliya Run - 10k, 2k - Contact: dovevm@gmail.com - Dovev Mazor
11.5.2007 - Gaash Run - 10k, 5k - http://www.realtiming.co.il/ - Registration closes 8.5.2007
2.6.2007 - Herzliya Women's Trialthlon - Contact: 09 774 9015, 052 358 0004 - http://www.women-tri.com/
HOLYLAND HHH LOGO TO GO
"Where Beer and Idiocy Meet"
Happy Passover and Easter! On-on!
Boston Creamed



HASH SCRIBE
www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com



Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.