13 December, 2006


O Canada! A HHHH - JHHH joint
Park Canada near Latroun
Hares: Captain Caveman & Woodcock

According to the guidebooks, "On the northern side of Route 1 across from the Latroun monastery is the beautiful Park Canada. The park is named in honor of the Canadian community which donated the money for its renovation. The park includes 7000 dunam of pine, olive and orchid forest. There are many walking trails through the park as well as picnic areas. During the spring months the glades are packed full of flowers. A Roman period irrigation system can be seen as well as some ancient burial site. This is the perfect place for a days hiking and picnicking. There is no entrance fee, and it is a good place to open a bottle of Latroun wine."

Notice that it says "hiking and picnicking" but not "running"! According to reports received by Humble Scribe, these glades, trails and other touristic wonders were never seen by the participants of Run 660 (also known as Run 110 for the Jerusalem H3) but a good time was apparently had nonetheless. Humble Scribe uses the phrase "apparently" because, having absented herself from the Hash again (oh, sue me!) she requested accurate notes from the Hares in describing the event and got what can be described, at best, as fuzzy recollections of an afternoon spent in a pleasant haze.

Captain Caveman said, "The run started out with the Hares reciting their well-prepared poems explaining what was to come. Woody rhymed in a most optimistic way while Captain Caveman's ditty was only negative. From there the run was all downhill (actually it was mostly uphill). Ceremonies were shared. Names were named. Fire was lit and food was eaten. Woody left for good and we all went home".

Er... one small detail missing there, Woody n' Captain. You lost the walkers! Alright, let's say, the walkers got lost. Anyway, they didn't show up, it got dark and the runners, desperate for beer, finally set out to find the walkers. Well, really they set out to find the keys to the beer, which were on Lager Lout who is still not sure if would have made a difference if she'd been dead or alive, given those circumstances!

A more lucid report was sent over by Woodcock in his latest -- and last -- bi-weekly Hash JH3 Trash, which we respectfully quote in full:
"The Joint Hash with the HHHH from Tel Aviv was a great get together of old friends and new ones that were made during the Hash and the cookout that followed.
"The JH3 Hashers gathered up at the meeting point and convoyed out to Canada Park where we linked up with the Hashers from Tel Aviv.
"There were poems belted out by the hares and instructions dispensed which the walkers ignored and then we were off on the Hash. Of course it was all down hill so to speak into the valley that runs through the park.
"20 runners made it to the first check hold. Yes, that's right, 20 RUNNERS! Halfway there was a beer check but one thing was missing, THE BEER! No time to position the stash but we drank a "virtual" down down anyway which was taken out of the "virtual" car. I hope we didn't leave "virtual" beer bottles laying all over the place there!
"Once again we set off and back into the valley and onto a road where we SHOULD have run into the walkers but they were no where to be seen. Hum... The runners clamored their way back up to high ground and the finish point and noticed the walkers were not there yet. We finally determined the walkers were hopelessly lost and sent out a rescue party.
"In the mean time we drank beer of course and started up the grills for the cookout. The walkers FINALLY showed up and a bunch of down downs were commenced which I once again didn't record. But they did include the Knickers for molesting the poor dog on the trail and the Hooter Girls, Peeper and Phil (yet to be named at this point) Two hashers were named: Francene will be known as "Freebie" and Phil will be known as "Psycho Phil."
"Oh, and there was a down down for yours truly because it was my last Hash. That was the nastiest stuff I ever had to drink in my life thanks to Peeper!
"And on that note I'd like to say thanks to everyone for making this joint hash a HUGE success! The food was fantastic and nobody wanted the evening to end, what a blast!

The barbecue, lit by romantic headlights and fueled not by Latroun wine but good old beer, was an auspicious if inebriated indication of more joint activities to come with the Jerusalem Hash House Harriers. Meanwhile, here is a list of the Down-downs that people could remember.

FRB, DFL - None*
SCB - Who remembers?**
Returnee - Bullshit
2 Good Blow Jobs - Deliverance (for blowing the horn)
Flying - R2D2
Doing the Beit She'an run in 1:38 - Dead Boring
Doing the Beit She'an run in 1:59 - Deliverance
Mountin' the Dog - Knickers (Jerusalem H3)
Naming - Freebie, Psycho Phil (Jerusalem H3)

We wish Woodcock some fine Hashing in Iraq's Green Zone with the Baghdad Hash House Harriers (billed as "The Most Dangerous Hash House in the World"). Stay safe and On-on!

* Caveman's excuse: "None - we waited so long for the walkers who got lost and they had the keys to the beer that the circle was oval.
** See above.

Saturday, December 16th
Time: 14:00 (2:00pm)
Place: Nof Yam Park
Directions: Take Route 2 and exit at Kfar Smaryahu.
Head towards Herzliya Pituach / WEST toward the beach on Keren HaYesod St.
RIGHT at the 2nd traffic circle (Wingate which becomes Golda Meir).
Follow the road to Nof Yam.
Take a sharp RIGHT and an immediate LEFT.
Cross the dirt lot towards the grove of trees where your hare will be waiting.

Google Map (click on Nof Yam)
Lost? Call Boston Creamed at 054 215 2654

Pregnant Pause of the Jerusalem Hash sent over a list of her personal favorite Hash songs. She writes "Most of them are pretty easy and if you're interested we could try singing some of them. On On!" The lyrics have been posted on the Holyland H3 blog, and yes, they are pretty easy... in the sense of "easy virtue". Enjoy.

4.1.2007 - Tiberias Marathon -
Israel Championship - 42k - Contact: 03-6441649 - Israel Athletics Association
17.2.2007 - Ein Gedi Half Marathon - 10k, 21k - Contact: 08-6688844 - Yaakov Akrish
23.2.2007 - Israeli Field Run Championship - 10k - Contact: 03-6486256 - Israel Athletics Association

March 9, 2007 - 2007 Eilat Three Borders Half Marathon - 21k -
Registration will begin in mid-January or early February via the Shvoong site.
Details to follow when they get their sh**t together.

19.3.2007 - Jerusalem Half Marathon - 10k, 21k - Contact: 02-6298047/8 - Simon Avraham
23.3.2007 - 18th Annual Ra'anana Run - 10k - Contact: 09-7610336 - Zion Dahan
28.4.2007 - Herzliya Run - 2k, 10k - Contact: dovevm@gmail.com - Dovev Mazor

News from the Land of Oz
Dandruff and Pusher are greatly missed by we're glad to hear things are moving apace. Dandruff writes that she still finds chemotherapy interferes with her ability to enjoy Chardonnay and has switched over to champagne. She adds, "We are still busy renovating our existing house, painting and landscaping. It's been a big job but Stephen is loving his retirement and gradually the house is being transformed."

If there are other Holyland HHH members abroad who would like to drop a line or two and say hello, please do. After all, 'tis the season! On-on!

-- Boston Creamed


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