25 October, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 652

HASH TRASH - Run 652
Hare: Deliverance

SWINGIN' LOW NEAR THE SWEET CHARIOTS

Latroun is a centrally located junction in the middle of the country, geographically equidistant from Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, and even Ashdod. Nonetheless, many found the trip difficult to make (so they didn't come), or just plain difficult to find (Stroker). There there were those who got distracted along the way (Dr. Do-little, but we don't yet really know why). We were joined by several visitors from neighboring Kibbutz Gezer who were invited by Boston Creamed to witness the mire of debauchery into which their friend has sunk. I mean, to take a nice walk in the sunshine.

And so, a plucky little band of Hashers circled up in the shadow of the Lehi Forest memorial and set out in the direction of Highway 6. We ran down in the direction of a soon-to-be-built train station, then looped back up again towards Route 424. And up... and up... and up.. Somehow the run turned into a hike, runners turned into walkers, and men turned into gossipy she-males, discussing the latest in hydration accessories and mansierres.

Dr. Doolittle was quicker than usual in his ability to transport between the third and fourth dimensions, disappearing and appearing at will. Like any good time traveler*, however, he feigned innocence, claiming that Deliverance had set many "dead trails" and that he was merely following them.

The halfway mark song -- sung at the Latroun Chariots park -- was "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", for the obvious thematic reason.

Joined by C3P0 and R2D2 on the second half, Deliverance warned that they might well make a tasty meal for a vicious dog spotted earlier. Cerberus did show up eventually, but was quickly cowed by Fer Fox Sake. The Front Running Boys sprang ahead and the Dead Last Adults ambled back to the starting point for Down-downs and crispy snacks.

THEM'S FIGHTING WINES, PARDNER

A threatening message was received last week from the RA, of all people, who took umbrage at Humble Scribe's having impugned the British people's ability to drink all other peoples under the table, (especially Australians**) and warned Boston Creamed that she would need alternate arrangements for getting home on Saturday after the Down-downs were done.

Ironically enough, this did not turn out to be the case, as RA Dead Boring failed to turn up at Saturday's Hash, instead sleeping off a NIS 380 (per person!) bar tab incurred on Friday night. Assistant RA Fer Fox Sake stepped into the breach and in another ironic twist, Boston Creamed was given many Down-downs anyway.*** But the great irony about doing a run in Latroun is that we were but a spittoon's throw away from the famed Domaine de Latroun winery. Field trip next time, please.

The final word belongs to Dandruff, who writes from Australia that the charms of chemotherapy are wearing thin, particularly in the wine v. beer area. "People won't believe it but I am not enjoying my Chardonnay, I think the chemicals have changed my palette and I'm just not enjoying it so I'm not drinking, I keep checking to make sure if this is just temporary but so far no luck!! I might have to wait until I finish my chemo to finally enjoy a glass. I'll forward you a joke about Chardonnay you can put it in your next Hash Trash in my honour!!" This has been done (please scroll down).

*Or short cutter.
** His counter-argument: "Calculate Hashers per square mile and Britain has 3745.76 more than Australia."
*** Pouring beer on your head may be refreshing but the old story about it being good for your hair seems to be just a bunch of hooey.

Down-downs
FRBs - C3PO, R2D2
DLAs - Boston Creamed, Deliverance, Dr. Do-little, Fer Fox Sake, Twin Peaks, Stroker
Virgins - Amos, Lisa, Roxanne
Stevie Wonder Award - Fer Fox Sake
Triathlon Send-off - Deliverance
Chugging Demonstration for Guests - Boston Creamed (also, Suspicion of Being a Trekkie)
Missing RA - Lager Lout
Whinging - Dr. Do-little
FRB at the Bahrain Black H3 (no beer there) - Bravefart

DIRECTIONS TO RUN NUMBER 653
Time
: 3:00 pm
Place: Givatayim
NOTE: This is a BLACK CAPE RUN
FOOD ALERT: There will be an On On afterwards.

Twin Peaks writes:
Here are the directions for this Saturday's Hash. All Hasher's are asked to WEAR A BLACK CAPE. There will be a On On at my house following the Hash. Food will be provided by me. Just asking for all to bring a bottle of wine or whatever alcohol you like to drink.

Ayalon South to the HaShalom Exit at the light (Azrieli Center on right and the train station on left) TURN LEFT on to HaShalom Street. Straight through 10 traffic lights. Just pass the Paz Gas Station on the left at the ELEVENTH traffic light TURN LEFT on to KOURAZIN STREET. Parking lot up 200 meters on left.

From Route 4. Exit at the Bar Elan/Aluf Sadeh Interchange. Follow signs to Aluf Sadeh (LEFT LANE). Merge on to road and get into right hand lanes and follow signs to Tel Aviv/Ramat Gan. Straight through THREE traffic lights. At FOURTH traffic light make a RIGHT TURN on to KOURAZIN STREET. Parking lot up 200 meters on left

Any problems, look at a map or call Twin Peaks

MAP
http://snipurl.com/10e9o

AND... MIDDLE EAST-MIDWEST SYNCHRONICITY
Jack-Off Lantern writes: "So while you were doing Joe Button in the sun, we were doing it round the campfire with the Cub Scouts. Circles seem to be a theme!"

JOKE FROM DANDRUFF (currently Chardonnayically-challenged)
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister."

NIPPED IN THE BUD
Along with the ever-fascinating topic of hydration accessories, the far less attractive topic of bloody nipples in men has again reared its fug-ugly head. There is, however, a product that may prove to be the life-saver we need to stop this conversation once and for all. Please click here: http://www.nipguards.com/

CONGRATULATIONS! We win again!
Will this lucky streak never end? We have now received word from Baron Raymond Raskonikov, claims director of the World Health Organization that we've won one million pounds sterling (£1,000,000) in a WHO drawing of fabulous cash prizes. And here we thought WHO was a stuffy organization that dealt solely with things of lesser importance like curing disease and eliminating famine. How little we know.*

* Note to Diabolo: Might it be possible to arrange winning a new car from USAID?

END NOTE: Quiz Night Draws Nigh !
Quiz Night - Friday 3rd November - 7pm
RSVP to Lager Lout: http://mail.yahoo.com/config/login?/ym/Compose?To=ruthfretwell@hotmail.com

TAKE NOTE: Hash Weekend... Hash Weekend... Hash Weekend...
Date: December 1-3, 2006
Place: Near a large salty body of water. Details to follow.
Contact: Dr. Do-little, Lager Lout

AND... Support your local dry cleaner
Get that tux in shape. British Embassy Annual Christmas Ball - December 16th, David Intercontinental Hotel, Tel Aviv.

-- Boston Creamed
HASH SCRIBE
http://www.holylandhhh.blogspot.com/

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