HASH TRASH Run 792, 793- DiERECTIONs for Run 794

First of all- H4 is now on Facebook! Search "Holyland Hash House Harriers" and request to join!

Ahh the hash weekend, how time flies when you're being eating alive by mosquitoes, woken up at 4am by some yobbos playing yahtzee and drinking the most delicious, cheap booze found in the holyland. The pack met up on Friday, staked their claim at Dor Beach and set up camp. Friday evening led to a 7pm hash set by Penis Pan. His run took people through the fields, through drainage ditches and around the kibbutz. Complaints were few and far between, which was highly unusual. After the run, a feast of biblical proportions was held- animal sacrifices courtesy of Hinawi and lots of salad. After dinner, the party took a boozy turn out to the beach, there were guitars, men flexing their muscles in their bathing suits and a late-nite swim. Saturday morning was less painful than other hash-weekend mornings and Meirav Iron-Cheffed up some amazing shakshuka and breakfast for us. Diablo and Swamp Monster decamped for Tel Aviv, but the rest of the group stayed strong. After chardonnay with breakfast, everyone went out to the beach for the Israeli National Petanque Championships (unofficial, mostly men's division). Desperate Housewife brought the addicting game and set up a round robin. Long Horny got a sunburn in the shape of a diamond on his back, and Caveman slept in a nearly obscene manner in his budgie smuggler under the sunshade. In a tragic turn of events, the RA twisted his ankle quite severely while running like a psychopath out into the ocean to take a leak.
The afternoon hash started late, mainly because we were all sunburnt and drunk. For a few minutes there, the scribe thought the hash would be called off in the name of more drinking. It was not. LongHorny and Dyke.Cum set a creative hash with a scavenger hunt, a swim out to the island and a competition for the most creative trash found on the hash. This competition was judged by the walkers, and while they gave points to Fart Smeller for pushing a tire the whole way back to the circle, and CrocSucker for touching someone's cast off used undies, the cake was taken by the (ahem) women's product found god only knows where. After everyone stopped vomiting from the sight, they went out to a fancy shmancy dinner in Zichron. More eating, more drinking, people went home, some campers stayed for another night of restless sleep in cheap tents (or maybe just the scribe).

DOWNDOWNS – Sorry the list sucks. Scribe didn't get one for 792, and 793 is written in hieroglyphics.

Run 792-
Hare: Penis Pan
FRB: Corporal Punishment
DFL: Scribe doesn't know because the RA didn't share the list.
Virgins to the Hash Weekend: Shaila, Maria, Corporal Punishment, Meirav,
I have no idea what happened after this.

Run 793-
Hares: Long Horny, Dyke.Cum
FRB: Corporal Punishment
DFL: FartSmeller
Returnees: Maria
Hash Kit Disrespect (I don't know why): Shaila
Mules/aka People Smart Who Walk: Border Bitch, Meirav, Maria
Dickhead: Croc Sucker
Dry Hash Kit (Made Of Sugar and Might Melt): Shaila
Desperately Needing Medical Attention: Wet Pussy, Dr. Desperate Housewife

Directions to Run 794 (and the scribe has it on good authority, someone used GOVERNMENT time to craft these directions)
When? Saturday June 20, 4pm
Where? Dubnov Garden, Tel Aviv - http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Dubnov+Garden+Tel+Aviv,+Israel&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=33.29802,56.25&ie=UTF8&ll=32.077566,34.784925&spn=0.004118,0.006866&z=17

How? From Herzliya/points north via 20 (Ayalon):
Take the Kaplan Interchange and stay right (towards Azrieli Centre) Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan 3. Pass HaKirya and turn right onto Ibn Givrol 4. Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech 5. Turn right onto Dubnov and pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM) 6. HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park
From Jerusalem/points south via 20:
1. Take the HaShalom interchange and stay left (going towards Azrieli Centre), turning left onto HaShalom 2. Cross Menachem Begin and go up little hill. This road becomes Kaplan 3. Pass HaKirya and turn right onto Ibn Givrol 4. Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech 5. Turn right onto Dubnov and pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM) 6. HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park
From Haifa/points north via 2:
Turn right onto Shaul HaMelech from 2 south . Turn left onto Dubnov . Pull into lot (corner of Shaul HaMelech and Dubnov – free until 8 PM) . HASH start is in Dubnov Garden/Park

Lost? You're retarded. These are the clearest directions ever. Call Shaila- 0574206719

Please contact the Scribe for weekends you are willing to set the hash… or don't and be VOLUNTOLD.