04 June, 2009

Hash Trash 790, diERECTIONs to Run 791 Now with Mandatory ON ON!

The pack assembled in a dirt field smelling of equine and bovine fecal matter (crap). It was 3,000 degrees(C) outside. There were a lot of new hashers, a new hash hound, visitors from a Land Downunder and some returnees. The hare told us that the first half was longer than the second half, and ohbytheway, the run was long. Real long. He was punishing us, kind, sweet souls for reveling in a very, very short run two weeks before. Germans are real sons of guns. The first half of the run included not one, but TWO holds and not one, but TWO checks (spoil us.). The pack was spread out across what seemed like miles of hard earth, it was a veritable Bataan Death March. The pack straggled past a daylight rave in an orange grove, the sound of the booming techno only slightly drowned out the muffled complaints and cries for mercy. 30 minutes into the run, Twin Peaks realized that Boston Creamed called saying she was going to be late. Twin Peaks had promised we'd wait, but it appears that The Hash Waits for No One (when the friend you called forgets to mention it). At one point, the scribe realised we were in Rishpon and had a meltdown. Do you know how far we were from the start?! Finally, we reached the halfway a full 5+ kilometers from when we started. The group was angry. The hare tried to soothe the pack with the balm of a mini-keg of beer. This was insufficient. Why were the cups so small!? The scribe overheard the hare telling someone that the 2nd half was going to be another 5k out to the beach and back. She was going to go at the hare like a spider monkey, but was too freaking exhausted to muster up the effort. After rumblings of a mutiny, which would have meant everyone walking back to the start, the RA promised that the 2nd half would only be 2km. It was and he lives to tell the tale. But there were still no holds. People: The Hash is not about the running. IT IS ABOUT THE BEER. This is the mantra. Embrace it.
We made it back to the circle. We complained amongst ourselves. We went to Quickie and Foreplay's for barebecue, reggae and a swim in the pool. We aren't sure if we've forgiven him.
DOWN DOWNS:
Hares: Quickie & Foreplay
FRB: Twin Peaks
DFL: RamalamablingDONG
Virgins: Paul, Julia, Eran, Roy, Octavia, JJ, Rosaria, Steve, Alfonso
Returnees: Boston Creamed
Walking the 2nd Half/Freakin' Genius! C3PO, R2D2, Rocket
Nothing Escapes the Eagle Eye of Twin Peaks/New Shoes At the Hash!? AmboHo, Goldmember
Child Abuse: Diablo, Abusee: Swampy
We Called the SPCA: JJ, and Abusee, Kennedy the Dog
Late Cummer: Boston Creamed
Not Passing the Message: Twin Peaks

Directions to Run 791:
Hare: Goldmember
Where: 7 HaKinorot Street, Kohav Ya'ir
View Larger Map
Directions: (See attached map)
From Points South... Take Rt. 4 to Ra'anana, take Rt. 554 until it crosses Hwy 6. At Tira Junction (Rt 444), go Left until you hit the entrance to Kohav Ya'ir. If you're rich and can afford a toll tag, take Route 6. Ha Kinorot (HaKinneret on some maps) is a small street to the left off of Sderot Ha'Aretz. We're meeting in Goldmember's garden.
There will be an ONON after the run- Goldmember is firing up the pizza oven. She'll provide the dough, you provide the toppings, salads, cheeses, deliciousness.
Lost? Call Goldmember. She couldn't be bothered to give us directions. 052-267-1796
HARE ROSTER:

We need two volunteers! HASH WEEKEND! 6/13/09

Shaila 6/20/09 Etti 6/27/09
Amboho 7/4/09


On-on!
Hash Scribe

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