02 October, 2009

Hash Trash Run 808, Directions to 809!

After a mad scramble to find a replacement hare and then another behind-the-scenes scramble on Where the Hell to Have the Hash, the pack met AS PLANNED at the parking lot next to the Mosque. You know, the spot we seem to constantly run from. For once, we started on time, and took off into Neve Tzedek. At the half-way, we sang Joe Buttons, or rather, Border Bitch sang Joe Buttons, the rest of the pack just lamely flailed their limbs and mumbled along. It wasn’t quite as bad as the Hash House Family (see Run From Hell: Caesaria), but it was pretty sad. After the half we ran for like 1.5km without a hold, which yeah, yeah, yeah, isn’t that long, but some of us had had a large brunch and almost barfed. Along the way, we learned a lot of valuable information about hashers, notably that AmboHo will stare at men in Israeli swimsuits, and by swimsuits, I mean ratty underwear that Israeli men think ARE swimsuits but everywhere else in the free world are underwear. Aside from the low-gluten hash, we all made it back. Yadda Yadda Yadda, had beer, went home.

Down DownsHare: Goldmember
FRB: Dyke.Cum DFL: BlingDong
SCB: Desperate Housewife, SemanVirgins: David, Sharon, Your OnherRetardees (I mean, Returnees): Desperate Housewife, Border Bitch, Dyke.Cum, BlingDong, White PointersHalf 'n' Half: SemanTaking a Load Off: Border Bitch, Tal, Pig Woman, Crock SuckerMelodious Singing: Border BitchMiddle aged married woman gawking: AmboHo

Directions to Run 809 STARTING AT THREE PM (1500, Shalosh Ba'Tsoriym, Tres, 3:00):
Hare: Desperate Housewife
Where: Neve Golan Community Center, Bat Yam

Disclaimers:
1) The Hare does not know this neighborhood. The directions are clear and maps are provided. The hare’s cell phone is dysfunctional so no number is being provided.
2) The Hare does not know this neighborhood or availability of parking on a Saturday. One of the maps has four parking lots circled with-in 1 minutes walk of the start.

From the North:
Take Ayalon south from Tel Aviv
Continue on 20 south, NOT towards Jerusalem.
Take exit Wolfson Interchange to merge onto Derech Hel HaShiryon
Slight left at Derech Yigael Yadin
At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto the Ed Koch (right)
Continue on Sderot HaBesht (straight at first lights)
Turn left at Kehilat Australia (carpark by soccer field)

From the South:
Take 20 north towards Tel Aviv
Take exit Wolfson Interchange
At the traffic circle, take the 3rd exit onto the Ed Koch
Continue on Sderot HaBesht (straight at first lights)
Turn left at Kehilat Australia (carpark by soccer field)

HARE ROSTER- SET ON YOUR DATE OR FIND ANOTHER SUCKER:
10-Oct Twin Peaks
17-Oct Semen or Deliverance (they’re fighting over who is setting.)
24-Oct Border Bitch NIKE NIGHT RUN
31-Oct Porn Queen & Tal PIMPS & HOS RUN WITH ON ON AFTER!!
7-Nov Long Horny
14-Nov Dyke.Cum
21-Nov Roya
28-Nov Boston Creamed
5-Dec Cassie
12-Dec Pig Woman
19-Dec White Pointers
26-Dec Captain Caveman
2-Jan Croc Sucker
9-Jan Tal
16-Jan Goldmember
23-Jan Deliverance
30-Jan AIDS
13-Feb Quickie
20-Feb AmboHo
27-Feb Semen
6-Mar BlingDong

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