23 July, 2009

Hash Trash Run 798, DiERECTIONs run 799, Give Me All Your Money (for shirts)

It didn't seem possible, but somehow it was- this hash was EVEN hotter than the previous week. We met at Migdal Tsedek around the world's tiniest circle (yes, yes, I know, it's how you USE the circle that counts). We were promised a historical narrative about the fort; this boiled down to Caveman drunkenly rambling on about Delta Force and buying a copy of the movie for $49.99. Whatever. The check it out was bellowed and Tal and Wet Pussy ran up the dirt road to the fortress-thingy- they refused to believe they were heading in the wrong direction EVEN AFTER the on-on was called in a shiggy universe far, far away. The pack ran through the concrete jungle of Rosh Ha-Ayin- let me educate all of you as to the "Urban Heat Island Effect" which essentially boils down to this: it is scorchingly hot in concrete and built up areas. Long Horny was a chipper hare for the first half, but even he was shocked at the conditions the pack was subject to- we quite literally ran (walked) through a dump. Ever wonder where construction items go after remodeling? Yeah, they're dumped in Rosh Ha-Ayin. Desperate Housewife was careful to warn everyone away from the gigantic rusty nail sticking out of a board, as the group scrambled over rocks, old sheet rock and brambles. Twin Peaks tiny little legs could barely span the gap from rock to rock and we wondered if this would be the first hash where someone would die (for a veritable panoply of reasons). Blood was drawn and more than one hasher commented that they were about due for a tetanus shot. The pack THOUGHT they had found the half way (and why not? It was a flour circle with JB in the center), but chipper hare said there had been some "disagreement" as to where the half point was. It was not here. On and on we ran, up a hill, Border Bitch nearly passed out, and we were finally reunited with the walkers. The OFFICIAL halfway was in a nook in the fort. John Buttons was mumbled, the group choked on the dust and more than one intrepid hasher pulled their shirt over their mouth so they could breathe. At the half, the runners switched hares and we were led by the inebriated and confused Caveman. Unsurprisingly, the hashers ran in the wrong direction through more brambles and into a cactus patch. The wise hare said, "Oh, wait. Not that way. This way." Yup, still wrong. Semen was really, really angry. Border Bitch and Boston semi-abandoned the trail (or not, since no one could remember precisely where it was) and somehow, everyone made it back to the circle, licked their wounds and temporarily renamed Caveman Bleeding Prick.
Hares: Bleeding, Frigging Prick & Long Horny
FRB: Border Bitch
DFL: Deliverance & Semen
Not In Touch With Their Inner Child/Shortcutters: Everyone BUT Boston Creamed & Penis Pan Virgins: Daniel
Performance Enhancing Drugs:Border Bitch
50 Runs: Desperate Housewife
Big New Jugs: Boston Creamed, Deliverance
The Other Left!: Dyke.Cum, Boston Creamed
...See you next fall! Caveman
Excessive Enthusiasm: Tal

800 Run Shirt Info!

Shirts will be ready for pickup on SATURDAY- Cont(r)act AIDS for more info!
No, seriously. AIDS will have your shirts on Saturday, so bring 25 NIS for each shirt ordered.


Di-ERECTION-s to Run 799
HARE: White Pointers WHEN: Saturday 25 July, 4pm
SPORTKEF PARK, Rishon Letzion

Directions to get there: Coming in Route no 4 south- take the right To Rishon Le Zion (west) turn right on the bridge, first light straight, second light left and left again in the first light, drive straight till the circle, park in the parking area after the circle. Coming in route 20 Ayalon South, take right in the exit to Rishon Le Zion east (under the bridge, one after Komemiute) drive straight on Moshe Dayan road, in the sixth light take right and then left in the first light, drive straight till the circle, park in the parking area after the circle. Lost???? White Pointers 050-6444759 , Ramalamablingdong 052-4238867

HARE ROSTER- Set It, or Find Another Victim!!!

1-Aug Deliverance
8-Aug Border Bitch
15-Aug Penis Pan
22-Aug Croc Sucker
29-Aug Semen
5-Sep Wet Pussy
12-Sep Fatty Tatty
19-Sep Quickie
26-Sep Long Horny
3-Oct Desperate Housewife
10-Oct Goldmember
17-Oct Fart Smeller

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