04 January, 2007

HASH TRASH - Runs 663 & 664 (formerly 663.5)

THIS WEEK: HASH FAILS TO SOLVE DARFUR SITUATION...
TIBERIAS MARATHON... DEAD SEA HALF-MARATHON...
QUIZ NIGHT IS COMING...
SATANIC FORCES TINKER WITH HARE RAISER ROSTER!!!
 
SCROLL DOWN... DOWN... DOWN... DOWN... DOWN... DOWN... DOWN... DOWN...
 
HASH TRASH - RUN 663 (or 636 if you're bad with numbers...) 
Auld Lang Hash
Place: Ramat Aviv 
Hare: Stroker aided by Boston Creamed
 
Stroker was absolutely convinced the run was under 2k. Boston Creamed was absolutely convinced it was Run Number 636. Which all goes to show that people who are bad with numbers should probably not team up. Run No. 663, it transpired, was in fact a good 6.25k, according to Captain Caveman's super-duper Dick Tracy walkie-talkie wristwatch thingie.
 
Our ranks were reinforced by Pregnant Pause and Mr. Bean who came down from Jerusalem to warm up. Mr. Bean told us tales of Hashes around the world, where the beer is on tap, flashing is de rigeur, and the songs are ribald. But more about that later.
 
Having been absolutely convinced that it was going to rain buckets on Friday night, the Hares finished marking the trail only minutes before the run commenced, and even those markings were insufficient, according to most everybody*. The first hold afforded the group an amazing view of the Ayalon Highway, yet Pregnant Pause did not stop to moon all points east. This dereliction of duty, or whatever you want to call it, was duly noted by the RA.
 
On-on! The runners circumvented the Tel Aviv University campus and began heading towards the Ramat Aviv Mall, reaching the half-way point just as raindrops began to fall. The halfway song was Auld Lang Syne -- what else? -- after which the Hares began their hunt for the tiny flour spots (allegedly), once again**.
 
Hundreds of children are starving in Sudan's war-torn western province of Darfur and the amount of flour used on Run 663, according to the RA, wouldn't have helped them survive at all. On the other hand, the last time he cited Darfur, it was for blobs that were too big.
 
Not wanting our group to be accused of wasting flour and, in doing so, abetting crimes against humanity, Hash Scribe has done some research and found some lovely diagrams describing the proper size and placement of blobs, a cute if useless virtual Hash trail, and a wonderful HHH site that proves runners are classic anal-retentives about how the trail should cover "an area of no more than 4 squares on an Ordnance Survey pathfinder 1:25000 series map"***.
 
But of course, the real crime of the day was the fact that the Hare, advised (and badly!) by her co-Hare, wrote the wrong number in the circle. Pregnant Pause and Mr. Bean serenaded Stroker as she drank her Down-down with a rousing chorus of "Here's to sister Hasher", and indeed, came up with and led the group in fitting songs on almost every other Down-down as well. Mr. Bean got "How would you like (my finger in your rear)" for being a virgin to the HHHH, Fer Fox Sake got "He's the meanest" for being the RA, and Boston Creamed got "Dinah (won't you blow me)" because it's such a pretty song.

* Whingers.
** Honestly, they didn't seem so small in the sunshine but cloudy weather made them seem kind of dim. Well, something seemed kind of dim, anyway.
*** The Oregon Kahuna Hash House Harriers (OKH3) say a dot of flour is 5 inches in diameter or 12.7 centimeters, which is HUGE. I think we can find a happy medium, don't you?
 
 
Down-downs
FRB - Captain Caveman
Bad Parent - Diablo (would have been FRB if he hadn't crossed the street dangerously and illegally)
636 - Stroker
Virgin - Mr. Bean
Tiny Tim the Gimp - Bravefart
Failure to Flash - Pregnant Pause
Showing Up 2 Weeks in a Row - Boston Creamed
DFLs (very!) - Loose Caboose, Turn-Ho (but we're glad they came)
 
RUN 664 - NEW YEAR'S DAY RUN/SWIM
Was 663.5, then 663.25 and now 664 (see below for explanation)
The Hash tradition continues! Fer Fox Sake set the New Year's Day 2007 run/swim and planned out a short 11k trail which was halved, as Captain Caveman reports, due to icky weather. "Let's see...Run #663 1/3. I sat in the car because it was cold. I saw Foxake approaching from the west so I got out of the car. Dr. D arrived with Champagne and kosher cheese and kosher salami. Goldmember arrived and complained. Letourn-Ho arrived late so we waited (still cold). No one else arrived so we ran. The Hare allowed us a 6 km shortcut. We got to the sea, took off shoes and some of us took off socks too and sort of went in. L-Ho said that compared to Oregon, it's warm. L-Ho said she was now cold so we ran back to the circle. The run was changed to 663 1/4. We had the Champagne and kosher cheese and kosher salami. We had Champagne down-downs. We had Beer down-downs. We welcomed the New Year. We went home."
 
Apparently everyone was SCB and aside from that, no one remembers any of the actual Down-downs.

 





Here's proof:

 





Also, as promised, proof that Hashers look very nice after washing.

 

Check out Goldmember's fab "Before and After" looks.
 


And if people haven't yet checked out Loose Caboose and Turn-Ho's Hash Weekend pictures, here's the link:

 
Here's to a happy 2007, everyone!!!
 
AND... SATANIC FORCES AT WORK ON HARE RAISER ROSTER
The Hare Raiser Roster has been updated to enable Run 666 (The Devil Run) to take place on the 13th of the month. This number is apparently key to its success and who are we mere mortals, after all, to argue with the Prince of Darkness and his merry minions? And so, all Hares, please make note of the changes. With the exception of Shock & Awe, they affect your run number only -- not the date of your run.
 
DIRECTIONS TO RUN 665
Date:
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Time: 15:00 (3:00pm)
Place: Ramat HaHayal (high-tech industrial zone), Tel Aviv
Hare: Fer Fox Sake
 
Get on the Ayalon (Route 20) or Namir (Route 2)
Take Rokach exit and begin heading EAST (away from central Tel Aviv).
Turn RIGHT onto Bechor Chelouche Shetreet St. which turns into Raoul Wallenberg St.
Follow the road under the underpass.
Bear RIGHT onto Rehov HaBarzel.
Follow HaBarzel to traffic circle
RIGHT into parking lot.
 
No official On-on afterwards but the Hare notes that if anyone wants to get a post-run beer and burger there are plenty of great restaurants there.
 
Maps (couldn't decide on just one):
Alligator:
Black Bar-n-Burger
Jacko
 
Lost? Call Fer Fox Sake at 054 749 4924
 
TIBERIAS, NEW  YORK CITY... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
Congratulations to Fer Fox Sake #249, Andrea Plucknett (#814) and a bunch of other people we don't know who ran the Tiberias Marathon. FFS, (whose time at 04.04.01 was improved considerably over his New York Marathon time by his having followed a regimen of not training, doing one long run between November and January, and being hauled along by a stiff wind from the Golan), reports that the Tiberias event is exactly like New York except that there are 37,000 fewer participants, 2.5 million less spectators ("There was one guy cheering at the 21k mark"), and it doesn't finish up in Manhattan.
 
STILL SOME TIME TO DECIDE... DEAD SEA HALF MARATHON
 
On-on! -- Boston Creamed


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