09 September, 2011

Hash Trash Run 910, Directions to Run 911

Hello fellow Hashers!
The long-awaited surprise-celebration of Captain Caveman's 500th Run (which was up to ~520 runs by now) had finally arrived. The pack gathered at Deliverance's chateaux for a cunning costume-change, involving sending Caveman on an ice-shleppin' decoy, while Hashers donned crispy white T's with Caveman's remarkably realistic portrait. The birthday boy was surprised at the door - let's do a reenactment:
(Hashers gather in a circle. Caveman enters, stage left)
(Silence - 1:05 min.)
Boston: Surprise!
(All repeat) Surprise!
...and off we went.
Deliverance decided to celebrate Caveman's senility... uh, meant seniority, by helping him with what she feels must be poor vision by now, and laid T's that can be spotted from outer space. The only thing that managed to draw (female) Hashers' attention from the marks was the buff, glistening piece of meat running along the road beside us. Some neighbourly love was poured on us while running through the streets of Herzlia, when we were suddenly greeted with a hose (and no, that's not a phallic metaphor, literally a hose spaying us with water).
Deliverance laid a sneaky on-in, fooling half the pack. Only a few happy Hashers didn't fall for it and charged towards the circle. There, Caveman's entire family awaited with pride to celebrate his revered accomplishment. The one thing the circle did actually lack was Beer - too many Hashers were either too young to drink (lame excuse) or too beer-phobic (even lamer). Not to fret, plenty of Beer was soon to be wasted, when Just Caitlin knelt in front of Deliverance and her apron, got showered with flour and was reborn as Sanitize For Your Protection.
Caveman's celebration then moved on to Deliverance's pool-side, where even the most conservative Mexican would compliment the dishes served. Even Margaritas were there - more than 10 liters of it, actually. In the effort to perfect the recipe, Just Jim was getting everybody drunk on Tequila and lime - an no one seemed to really care that he is. Olé!

Down-Downs Run 910:
Hares: Deliverance, Rocket, Free Willy
FRB: Fart Smella
Misnaming: Deliverance, Twin Peaks
Returnees: Cpl. Punishment, Matterhormy, Just Jim, Free Willy, Rocket, C3PO, R2D2
Sitting: Just Jim, Just Caitlin, Pregnant Pause
Stupid: Windbreaker
Birthday: Matterhorny
25 Runs: Free Willy
500 Runs / 12.5K NIS: Capt. Caveman
New Bourne Identity: Cpl. Punishment, Just Shir, Spit or Swallow, Betty Cocker
Naming: Caitlin is no more - hello, Sanitize For Your Protection!

Pictures were taken at the event... but turns out that Semen's shock-, water- and bullet-proof camera is also computer-proof and would not download the photos. Tech support is handling the situation and will get the pics online soon enough.

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 911:
Meeting time: Saturday September 10th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Kfar-Saba
Directions: From Tel-Aviv get on the 5 east, take the 4 North. Keep straight past the traffic light, after the Sonol gas station get in the right line and take the first exit to Kfar Sava. Continue for about 4.5 kms until the first Rotary. Turn Left till the end and park. Follow this map (in hebrew).
Lost? Call Caveman 052-2445644

From the Hare:
In honor of 9/11, which is the next day, wear RED,WHITE & BLUE or something from NY or the Pentagon.
Also, there will be no On-After so all are requested to not bring meats, salads, ect. Beer is already not spoken for so please don't bring something else.

Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:
Another virgin wants to join our Hash!
Just Chelsey lives in Jaffa near corner of Yehuda Hayamit and Sderot Yeryshalayim. If anybody can give her a ride, please call her at 0542648406

Other messages:

Hare roster - are you there?!
#912 Sep 17 - Fluffer
#913 Sep 24 - Pepe Le Puke
#914 Oct 1 - Goldmember
#915 Oct 8 - Black Magic
#916 Oct 15 - Spit or Swallow
#917 Oct 22 - The Gonadfather
#918 Oct 29 - Stiff Meat

Hash Scribe

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