22 July, 2011

Hash Trash Run 903, Directions to Run 904

Hello fellow Hashers!
Great balls of fire, it was hot. ("How hot was it?") It was so hot, you could fry an egg in your underwear.
As Hashers soon realized, this teeny-tiny fact didn't bother hare Quickie one bit. He led us on to believe this was to be a pleasant hash, with hearts drawn on the ground instead of circles and scenic routes on the shore's cliff-face. But that was merely a trap, cos this hash was a sandy, sweaty, watery, stinky sonomabitch of a hash. Appropriate for a last Quickie-Hash.
At the start, Caveman the GM who was also acting RA/AssRA, took it upon himself to kick-off with a good joke. And by golly, he finally chose a good one for a change ("good" being short for "agonizingly long, had-to-poke-myself-with-icepick-to-stay-focused boring, obviously not funny"). We later learnt that the joke is only funny if you READ it... hmm I think we found the problem.
After that, the pack started slugging on the trail, pushing in and out of sand dunes all around. Quickie set the trail on numerous lookouts, where we could look down on the beach. What we saw... was not for the faint hearted. Various body parts which are better left concealed, were running around, flopping and bouncing from all angles. This was a nudist beach, and from the looks of it, the Hash was about to Get Jiggy Wit' It real soon.
On our way down to the balls... uh, beach, we rendezvoused with the walkers for a Halfway Song. For this one, Quickie apparently decided to create new moves for Father Abraham - arms were flailing all over the place. It didn't quite catch on, especially since other hashers (aka Crock Sucker) were busy creating their own disco-like dance moves to the song. Here's what it looked like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L1tr0PIx20
Climbing sand dunes? Blistering heat? Just Jimmy topless? None of that compares to what Hashers endured next - the way back, running on the shore in genitalia-ville. we were split between two groups: those who tried their luck at running with their eyes closed, and those who's running-pace took a sudden plunge, and they near-walked, all the while sneaking the odd peaks at beach-goers'... issues. Funny though, the 2nd group consisted only of Twin Peaks.
Past the nakedness, the pack rejoined and caught their breast... breath, discussed the Israeli "jellyfish" and decided it was time to head back to the beers.. But what a mistake that was - it was not beer that was waiting for them in the chariot, it was the most rank, warm, vomit-inducing fizzy-piss-in-a-can you could possibly imagine. This Scribe believes that somewhere, in a faraway beer-packaging plant, a worker with no bladder control is now whistling happily. The Hashers, committed to the cause, still drank their down-downs, and Quickie even got to drink his from a Fuck-Off mug, especially made for... someone else (his mug is still in the making, allegedly).
Thanks Quickie for a Hash to remember you by... and for my sweatiest shirt yet.



Down-Downs Run 903:
Hare: Quickie
FRB: Fart Smella
DFL: Boston Creamed
Returnees: Stiff Meat, Just Caitlin, Fart Smella
Reliever: Stiff Meat
Bad Joke: Capt. Caveman
Stiff No Respect: Just Jimmy, Blowjack
Really Long SCBs: Fluffer, Fart Smella
Ball-jack? Capt. Caveman
Want To Swim: Crock Sucker
Longing And Lusting: Twin Peaks



...and now for this week's run:


Directions to Run 904:
Meeting time: Saturday July 23rd, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Meet at 'Canada' Park between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
From Tel Aviv towards Jerusalem on Route 1: Exit at Latrun Interchange (route 3), turn left and go under motorway and drive approximately 700m and turn right in to the park.
From Jerusalem on Route 1: Exit at Latrun Interchange (route 3), turn right and drive approximately 700m and turn right in to the park.
After the entrance gate; look for the 'white beast' parked around there somewhere.

A note from the Hare:
The run will be dusty, hot, and lots of shiggy. The land will be dry but you will not be, as I am also bringing the beer.
Lost? Impossible! But if you are call Stiff Meat on 054 810 8762. Use the same number to beg for forgiveness and tell me you are running a little bit late.



Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:



Other messages:
New Hare Raiser Roster is out! Check where your name is and saddle-up!
If you need to switch haring dates - find someone to switch with and let the Scribe know.



Hare roster - are you there?!
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber

#906 Aug 6 - Double Entry
#907 Aug 13 - Deliverance
#908 Aug 20 - Boston Creamed
#909 Aug 27 - Semen
#910 Sep 3 - Twin Peaks
#911 Sep 10 - Capt. Caveman
#912 Sep 17 - Fart Smella
#913 Sep 24 - Pepe Le Puke
#914 Oct 1 - Goldmember
#915 Oct 8 - Black Magic
#916 Oct 15 - Spit or Swallow
#917 Oct 22 - The Gonadfather
#918 Oct 29 - Stiff Meat



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