24 June, 2011

Hash Trash Run 899, Directions to Run 900

Hello fellow Hashers!

Last weekend was not about the trail itself, but what awaited at the end of it: BBQ, swimming pool and girls in bikinis (names are irrelevant), all of which courtesy of the embassy of Serbia (and Just Mitch).

The Hash started off with a camp-fire-like storytelling by Semen, enlightening Hashers about their heritage with a book about HHH. After that, it all went to s&#t. Now, your Scribe heard all the Hashers' complaints about the trail led by Black Magic: it seems that Serbians are not familiar with the Hash marking system, nor are they willing to learn it. So as it turned out, the Hare created a crazy and incomprehensible trail, with On 1's, 2's and 3's, T's and Checks coming in from all direction at once. He also apparently decided that Holds are for sissies and marked only Checks for the entire trail (sparking Stiff Meat's creativity: "I thought this is a Serbian Hash, not a Czech Hash"). And as if that wasn't enough, Captain Caveman decided there was room for more confusion, so he started blowing the Hash Horn at times when he wasn't even on the trail. But the final straw was of course, a beer-at-the-half-way promise made by the Hare, that turned out to be a sham. Really - promising the Holy Beer and not delivering? Too far, man, gone too far.

Closing in on the Circle, Hasher/Racist Spit or Swallow took on the challenge of robbing FRB from poor innocent Caveman, which became a fight-to-the-death between Caveman, Fart Smella and SOS. It was a miracle no one was seriously hurt, although sissy-cries were heard by all parties. All was eventually squared at the circle (or after 3 beers, I dunno which came first). And what a circle it was - breaking Hash rules left and right. It started with Bullshit breaking the No Smoking rule in style (he actually brought a couple of cigars, does that count?). Then continued with Virgin misbehaviour with Just Jimmy's chucking of Hash Cups when he was done with them (quote: "Hey, it was empty"), and Just Melissa excusing herself from exposing herself ("My boss doesn't let me show my underwear"?? C'mon, that's no excuse, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen). To top it all off, Fluffer, in a desparate effort to spare some Hash kids the profanities of our songs, came up with a whole new Hash song this Scribe is sure you all will enjoy:

"If your girlfriend smells like (pause) honey flip her over,
If your girlfriend smells like honey flip her over.
If your girlfriend smells like honey,
(pause) it's a rabbit, not a bunny,

If your girlfriend smells like honey flip her over!"


Down-Downs Run 899:
Hares: Black Magic, Just Mitch
FRB: Spit or Swallow
DFL: AmboHo
Returnees: AmboHo, Foreplay, Bullshit, Rocket
Misnaming: Crock Sucker
Virgins: Just Lynn, Just Mitch, Just Ceca, Just Melissa, Just James
Host w/ The Most: Just Mitch
Lost Hashers On Walk / Child Abuse: Foreplay
High Priestess / Oprah Book Club: Semen
Late Cummers: Fart Smella, Crock Sucker
Sitting On The Hash: Bullshit
Mass Confusion: Black Magic
Nudity: Goldmember
Hash Fashion: Stiff Meat
New Shoes: Fart Smella

...and now for this week's run:

Directions to Run 900:
Meeting time: Saturday June 25th, 16:00, 1600hr, 4pm.
Location: Parking lot @ Elifelet St., Tel Aviv.
Been there many times. You senile? here's a Google Map
Lost? Call Fluffer 052-8801111

Ride requests - help a botha-hasher out:
Visiting Hasher Bradley would like to join us for this run - contact him @ brarrr@gmail.com if you can offer a ride.

Other messages:
Don't forget your Hare Roster deadline... in 5 weeks the new roster will be ready - email your date requests now!

Hare roster - are you there?!
#901 Jul 2 - AmboHo
#902 Jul 9 - The Gonadfather
#903 Jul 16 - Quickie
#904 Jul 23 - Stiff Meat
#905 Jul 30 - Grave Robber

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