31 May, 2007


A Timeless Experience...
Place: Netanya
Hare: Deliverance

Deliverance claims* she suffers from both ADHD and dyslexia, and the claim is apparently true. Though the only medical professional the Holyland Hash has on staff is Dr. Do-little, a diagnosis might be rendered nonetheless from Saturday's Hash. As Deliverance herself warned us: "There's blobs on the left, blobs on the right, some might've got blown away, I'm telling you, the LAST thing I needed was to set this trail". The run, she estimated, would take about 40 minutes. And off we trustingly went.

On-on! The first thing that happened was that we lost the trail. And the second thing, too, as the citizens of Netanya apparently don't like their sand lots strewn with flour, preferring garbage instead. Eventually a whole hold was located, we regrouped, crossed the highway and headed for the sea.

The Hare dashed ahead to make sure that at least one of her markings had remained intact, leading our merry band down the garden path -- which was really more of a trek down a cliff. Once on the beach, we set out for what turned out to be rather a long stretch of running on soft sand while trying circumvent the hard rubber "matka" balls, ignore the horses being driven into a frenzy by their pimply-faced adolescent riders, and in general block out the things that make Netanya a place to be avoided rather than embraced.

Somewhere along the way -- apparently near the start -- we lost Dr. Do-little who, in the absence of flour marks between which he would normally short-cut**, decided to take a sentimental journey around downtown Netanya. He did not get mugged, thankfully.

Eventually, there was a halfway point (sans Dr. D) and "Joe the Button" was chanted, rather than sung, but apparently that is how it actually goes. Taking pity on us, the Hare cut the second half short and sent us back to the circle and Down-downs.

After a month away, Twin Peaks returned from the truly joyous duty of being a new Savta ("grandma") with gifts for all - a photo of new grandson Mason John, and packs of Jelly Belly Sports Beans*** for all.

* She also claims to be brain-dead but I think that is an exaggeration.

** Slowly we are beginning to get ahold of his technique.
*** This is a very tasty genetically engineered energy treat that somehow, despite brilliant fluorescent coloring, has managed to be categorized as "All Natural".

Hare - Deliverance
FRB - Dead Boring
DFL - Pregnant Pause
Feeling Sorry for Horses (and Ignoring Darfur) - Boston Creamed
FaHASHion Victim - Deliverance
To SCB or not to SCB - Dr. Do-little
Grandma Hasher - Twin Peaks
Returnees - Pregnant Pause, Twin Peaks
Reliever / Hash Slash - Neverfucker
Upcoming Triathlon - Deliverance, Stroker

Place: Rishpon
Hare: Lager Lout

Take the '2' north and exit at the Rishpon turn (the one after Shmaryahu). Go straight over at the roundabout by the flower shop and at the next one. At the 3rd roundabout (before the railway line) turn left down the dirt road. A few hundred metres on the right is a clump of trees. LL should be there - in the shade!!
Lost? Call our hare at 054 693 3287

E-Map site (in English)

Two-Fingered effort yields sparkling results
Apologies are due to the newly-named Hashers Wing-Man and Two Fingers for having left this message out of last week's Hash Trash. It was sent before their departure for parts unknown (well, Switzerland, which is actually on the map, we hear). The young lovers managed to emerge red and raw but more or less whole after their baptism by fire (by which we mean flour and beer) with no thanks whatsoever to P&G products, just good old elbow grease. Two Fingers writes:
"Well after much effort, I finally managed to de-flour Wing-Man after last Saturday's run. We really appreciated the surprise of being named (even though the car still has a strange smell of stale beer & bread). We look forward to carrying on the newly learned hashing skills in Geneva (Wing Man promised that she will practice her beer downing skills before we get there). All the best for your future hashes and thanks for making us feel so welcome in the short time that we have been running with you. On… on… WM & 2F
Another marathoning Holyland Hasher heard from...
Airhead has written the HHHH with the following news: "Talking of marathons, Trouser Snake (for those who remember him!) has just done (actually it was four weeks ago) the Canberra Marathon. He got pretty close to his target of four hours - 4 hours, 1 minute and 1 second - but it means he might have to try again!"
In addition, Loony Tunes and Kiss My Yasser send their best from Prague where they don't Hash because they are too busy but hopefully manage the occasional beer as it's apparently quite popular over there.
Mismanagement Committee eats drinks and leaves
The Holyland Hash House Harriers' Mismanagement Committee convened this week to disband itself (ouch) and nominate the new committee whose members -- including the new RA and his lovely Ass[istant] -- will be revealed this Saturday (and won't they be surprised). Nonetheless, some hints as to what lies in store:
1. The new Hash Cash is Scottish. Hmm...
2. The Hare Razor will be the GM and the GM will be the Hare Razor.
3. The new Hash Trash has taken on Hash Flash as well and plans a video documentary.
4. Beware, as the new Beermeister will be making his own in the bathtub -- again.
Also, please save the evenings of June 9th (or 16th) -- I can't tell you why just yet.

Oh boo. No more runs upcoming till fall
2.6.2007 - Herzliya Women's Triathlon - Contact: 09 774 9015, 052 358 0004 - http://www.women-tri.com/
16.6.2007 - Tel Aviv Triathlon - Contact: 03-6764008
28.6.2007 - Tel Aviv White Nights Run - 10k, 5k - Contact: Shvoong - 1 700 700 305

29.6.2006 - Agmon Duathlon (Hula Valley) - Contact: 04-6817137, Yaron Mark - 057-7700772

"Where Beer and Idiocy Meet"

The Holyland HHH logo will be on file at this T-shirt store in the very near future.
98 Dizengoff, Tel Aviv

Boston Creamed


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