31 July, 2006

HASH TRASH - Run 634

HASH TRASH - Run 634

It was very hot. We circled up in the only shady spot the Hares could find in the blindingly bright sunshine, received instructions and on-on we went -- in all directions. Eventually, the Hare subtly indicated where the first marking could be found. And so, on-on we went -- for real this time -- through sand, earth, dust, dirt, (Deliverance got a mouthful of that in the second half). The runners were joined by Tally -- T.C. and Pat's very lovely dog, who hates being on a leash and has successfully figured out that if Mother says no, ask Father (and vice-versa). At the halfway point, the runners met the walkers to sing what can only be described as a cheeky little Hash ditty, which your loyal scribe has transcribed in its entirety below*. At the end of the second half, in their excitement and anticipation of some liquid libation, the final hold was missed by most of the runners. This oversight was noted by Dr. Doolittle who -- true to his role as the current GM -- was very good and did not shortcut, but still not as good as one other person (also see below).

Down Downs

HARES - Pusher, Dandruff
DFL - Anne
SHOE REMOVAL - Neverfucker
MISSING A HOLD - Anne, Boston Creamed, Bucks Fizz, Deliverance, Neverfucker, T.C.
FLYING AWARD - Deliverance
CUSTODY BATTLE - T.C., Pat
ANGEL AWARD - Lager Lout (for being TOO GOOD, but she has promised never to do that again)

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* The ditty, as promised (threatened?) sung to the tune of "The Addams Family Theme"

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Their drinking is compulsive
Their running is convulsive
They're morally repulsive
The Hash House Harriers

CHORUS
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da (snap fingers twice)

Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude when
They're running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers

CHORUS
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)... etc.

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THE COMMITMENTS
Following is a summary of the committee changeover:

GM - Dr. D.
RA - Dead Boring
Ass. RA : Fer Fox Sake
BEERMEISTER(S) - Pusher/Dandruff
HASH CASH - Lager Lout
HARE RAZOR - Stroker
HASH TRASH - Boston Creamed
HASH HORN - Deliverance

Also announced and award certificates duly distributed:
THE ANNUAL HOLYLAND HASH HOUSE HARRIERS AWARDS 2006

BACK IN TIME: Pusher
BEST RUN: Lager Lout
HASH BILLBOARD: Sanitary
HASH CONNOISSEUR: Dandruff
HASH DINOSAUR: Dr. Do-Little
HASH SCAREDY-CAT: Treasure
HASHER of the YEAR : Bucks Fizz
HIDE & SEEK: Pussycat
NO HAND SIGNALS: Stroker
PAINTED LADY: Masterbakes
ROOKIE of the YEAR: Boston Creamed
SPEEDY GONZALEZ: Dead Boring
SPIRIT of the HASH: Deliverance
WORST RUN: Jack-Off

Run 635
Another e-mail will arrive tomorrow with directions to this Saturday's Hash. Anyone out there want to do it? Fer Fox Sake was supposed to be the Hare, but due to events beyond his control, he has taken up residence in Gaza.

-- Boston Creamed
HASH SCRIBE

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